The Heart of Raisya
Do'aku
"Son, please be patient with your husband! You expect a lot to you, the late grandfather Fir had a deal with your grandmother. Actually you do not have to be the one we betrothed, it could have been the big brother with your aunt's son, it was, but since they already have their own domestic lives, we are forced to match you up to carry out the trust of his grandfather Fir. Their reason is that the friendship built since their parents existed is getting closer through their child descending, yea this."
I listened to the mother's long enough explanation, my heart was still in a mess not knowing which one to digest first.
Was he on the phone in the bathroom?
"Well, ma'am, I've tried everything I can." Yes, those are the only words I can say right now before I finally leave to go into the room.
*****
The day just passed, without feeling the age of my marriage had entered the 15th day. People are still as long as corn. But there's no sign my husband has changed. I am also a normal person who has a limit of patience. Just like the days before, my husband is good at playing in front of people. As if our household would be fine.But when we are both, then the mood will be back stiff and passive. For the shopping money I was not too concerned, because we were just two and I still have spare money . But his attitude problems, until when can I be patient. Indeed, he was never angry, but his indifferent attitude sometimes made me feel like an unregarded wife.
#POV Word
I have to put an end to all this, but how? I can't disappoint my family, especially my mother. So far, why can't I accept this fact. I have gone so far, there will be many hearts hurt.
******
Since Mr. Firman opened the counter he always went home late at night, sometimes at 11 even after 12 nights. I don't know if it's because it's crowded or because that's the only reason to avoid me. Like now I fell asleep for a while waiting for him to come home. I decided to teach and pray tahajjud. God is the best place for me to complain.
" Allah forgive the sins of the servant, the parents of the servant, and the sins of the husband of the servant. I know that even though he has become a husband, he is still yours. Servant please go as far as she goes to give your guidance. If indeed you have destined us to continue to mate, please protect our marriage and show proof that he is the best, bestow happiness in our household. But if he is not the best for you please show concrete evidence so that you are not blind to heart and mind, amen."
This time I poured out all the tears in my heart, I cried sobbing. I'm no longer strong to pretend to be strong, I don't care if my eyes are swollen tomorrow. At least I'm relieved that I've confided in my Lord. Until I finally fell asleep with my face sitting on the wall.
Azan at dawn I woke up feeling restless. I feel like my body is hurting from that bad sleeping position.
The next day, yeah right. My eyes are a little swollen. I saw my husband was getting tidy going to his counter.
"Sister, where are the clothes you want to wash?"
"Nothing, I'm leaving first."
As usual I kissed the back of his hand, and don't expect him to kiss me on the forehead. Because it's not on the dictionary yet.
"huftt... want to give you the laundry is very difficult, wong clothes and sarongs have been stacked like gini on a hanger but say there is no prestige or do not want to have a debt of gratitude? it's good to have a wife who is watching and serving.nach will be cruel to my mind, patient Raisya.. This is a small test, Astagfirullah.." I murmured softly and could not be heard. Because the man has left.
Although my house and grandmother are close, grandma rarely plays home, maybe she is afraid of disturbing. And afraid of being mistaken for her granddaughter's household. I hope the whole family thinks we're okay. Even though our relationship was not healthy, they did not know that we had never had a husband and wife. I'm patient, because I still really hope this is still nothing. Of course as a woman I only want to get married once in a lifetime.
I have to talk to my husband. We have to get closer anyway. Sharing with each other is open. Isn't that the purpose of marriage. We have to talk about how the plan is going forward. Where will our status be taken. This has been my determination, may there be time and courage to do my mission.
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Sorry if there are so many flaws in my writing. Thank you for your support brother readers🤗
