The Heart I Choose

I will continue to be patient

In a moment Mas Wandi came home, I had to prepare his food, the house I cleaned helped by tidying up his toys, Kiyah was still sleeping since noon. Already at 17:00 Mas Wandi has not returned home, the food on the table is cold, I put it again in the container, let 8mas Wandi come home I heat again.

When he had taken a shower, he shouted to wake his brother who immediately cried loudly, I persuaded Kiyah and I bathed. At the age of 2 years who have not been able to walk, Kiyah is indeed a little slow growth she sits after the age of 1.5 years. Until now he has not spoken, can only say "Mmaaa....Pppaa......Aaanggg....," I was actually worried, I repeatedly invited Mas Wandi to accompany him to the pediatrician, but Mama forbade him, Mama said "Every child has his own development".

Ma'am Dewi who I asked about the development of Kiyah, invited me to see the pediatrician Rehan subscription. But I'm afraid Mas Wandi is angry if I leave, even though Madam Dewi has promised him that he will pay the cost of visiting, Mas Wandi will definitely complain to mama if I keep going.

Ma'am goddess knows what I'm afraid of, she never invited me again, only dares to suggest to massage Kiyah's legs and keep talking.

.................

After the new magrib Mas Wandi arrived home, without much question, I prepared the bath water and I brewed his favorite coffee, the food was heated and I put it back on the table.

Mas Wandi looked towards the dining table and said,

"I didn't eat, I was bought by the boss."

I get rid of it again with a sad feeling, I can't bear it this afternoon not to eat it afraid if later Mas Wandi comes home angry if the side dish runs out.

Hopefully it can still be heated for tomorrow.....

I approach the Wandi mas who is playing his hape, I want permission to join the rally in this housing.

"Mas, I want to talk" I amplified a little of my voice let him hear.

[What? oh yes yes.. later I go straight there, ready boss].

Turns out Wandi didn't hear me.

"What's? let's talk later, I'm called boss, I have an important meeting." Sandy looked rushed.

"Yes," I replied timidly.

"Papa go, baby!!" Mas Wandi held Kiyah for a while. Then take the car keys, no matter what there is still time, said Mbak Dela is still 2 weeks away. I'll find some more time to talk to Mas Wandi. As a husband and wife, we rarely talk, Mas Wandi can spend time calling his mother, but not with me.

I locked all the doors, I invited Dika and Kiyah to enter the room, my days were very tiring. Mas Wandi never offered help for homework or just playing with his son. He won't care what my condition is, the house has to look clean and the food is on the table. When the children are sick he will be angry, assume I am not good at looking after children.

Dad, I'm tired.I want to put it all on him, but I don't want to add to my dad's pain. Mother said lately the father's vertigo often relapses. If I had listened to Dad's message, to consider this marriage. Dad..I miss, ever since I moved to this city, I'm not allowed Mas Wandi to see my family. The phone call was restricted, Mas Wandi would be angry if I was caught calling my father, mother or sisters.

............... .. ........

I woke up at half-five, my head was dizzy from mostly thinking while holding back the cries of last night. I saw that Mas Wandi was not in the room yet, I looked into the living room and other rooms, it turned out that he had not returned home. Mas Wandi used to bring a spare key when going out at night, he said I was sleeping like a dead person, hard to wake up, my family had also said so, he said, sometimes I fall asleep and don't wake up. I have read the sleep problems I experienced said it was a disease and must be found a solution.

I turn on the washing machine and cook the water, I dare not call Mas Wandi, let me wait for him to come home. I once called when he hadn't come home until 2pm, just the snaps and rant he said.

"Mama, Papa has it?" Dika had already woken up from his sleep.

I just smiled at him.

"When you want to go to school between Papa." a sad look on his face.

What am I supposed to say??? Do I have to tell Papa he's not coming home tonight.....

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**Author is only a beginner writer who ventured to write a novel here.

If there is writing, dialogue sign, use of capital letters that are wrong, be asked to be willing to correct it, the author will be very grateful.

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