The Heart I Choose

Saturated

Mas Wandi changed a lot after marriage, often he was angry for something I did not know, or sometimes silence me for days, and will reprimand if there is a want, he said, saturated I think in this house, only Rani is the one who comforts me a little with stories or indulgence, sometimes brother or sister mas Wandi come, they invite me out.

Mama can not do much to reprimand Wandi, papa never reprimanded him, but instead made Wandi did not want to go home. Since marriage I've been determined not to have children, let me raise the children mas Wandi, but it occurred to me, is it possible mas Wandi changed like this, because I have not had children from me.

Finally I released my KB, a month later I was pregnant, I was moved to not believe there was a fetus in my womb, I who was 22 years old at that time felt very perfect. I gladly told her this happiness

"Mas I'm hamilll" I hugged Wandi.

"Oh yes, thank God," Wandi's response turned out to be normal.

"Don't like it?"

"Like it, but I already have two children, what will the cost of his life be?"

"That's your responsibility mas, this pregnancy should make you more active work and save, do not continue with your friends."

"Don't interfere in my business, you're just a stupid woman who knows nothing." Mas Wandi scolded me.

Every time he was angry, the stupid word continued to be said, for him I was only a graduate Junior High because of stupidity. This pregnancy tortured me so much, rarely can I fulfill my desire to eat something, milk is sometimes given by his brother or sister, mas Wandi really does not care.

He can only get angry, if he loses gambling outside then it will make me an easy target to hit.

Mama can only tell me to be patient, I don't know when I can. I wanted to leave him, but I didn't want this child to be born without a father, and this love is still so great for him. Brother and sister mas Wandi is also good, although sometimes angry because I was indifferent to this pregnancy

************

When my delivery time arrived, the midwife had predicted I would have to give birth by surgery, because the baby's narrow hips could not go down.

"Mas, like I'm going to give birth, you have no savings?" I tried to ask Mas wandi nicely.

"Where are your savings?"

wandi asked back.

"Baby clothes can wear my clothes a lot, why should insist on buying new anyway."

"It's tired of me discussing the problem that has passed, the point is you do not have savings right!"

Mas Wandi certainly does not have the money savings always run out for poya-foya with his friends, ask my parents maybe they certainly do not have money, they certainly do not have money, the only way I have to say this is the same mama mas Wandi.

****************

"Ma, midwife says I have to have my hip surgery small, the baby can't go down." I approached my mom who was watching.

"When's the schedule?" Mama asked

"Next week ma, because my gestational age has entered 39 weeks," I replied.

"Keep, wandi doesn't have any money, right?" mama's guess is right.

"It should be as a wife you should be good at advising your husband, not with anger, wandi does not like to be scolded, now see, Wandi added closer with his friends right?" mama continued her anger.

"Ma, I've reprimanded mas wandi well, even mas wandi who was angry first," I replied to my mother's words

I'm totally saturated.....

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