Renjana Dusk Kala

Chapter 98. Without You What It Means, Without You It Feels Hollow

Without You What It Means, Without You It Feels Hollow

- taken from the lyrics of the song titled "Tanpamu" popularized by Tetty Kadi-

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Days Without you

Jakarta

Pocktail

The meeting with the Reka classroom guardian and the foundation party resulted in two important decisions. Reka remained in school in Pusaka Bangsa and Tama resigned from the list of permanent donors of Pusaka Bangsa foundation.

"After I discussed it with my wife and extended family" Tama said straightforwardly. "It's the best decision."

He's surprised. Because Tama never talked about it. Last night, Tama spent the time to catapult him to sleep and refused to return. That'sthat's all. There was nothing else they did or talked about.

"The great family of Pringgodigdo (the name of Tama's great-grandfather) is still a regular donor. I'm the only one out."

Tama reasoned if the vision and mission are no longer in line.

"This is my disappointment with the performance of the National Heritage HR that does not reflect integrity. Far from the credibility it should be." Tama shook her head.

"Fair only if my son is guilty," continued Tama. "Please be punished according to the applicable rules. I am full support. No objection at all."

"I'm not the kind of parent who protects a child whatever his faults. The child should be accustomed to being responsible as early as possible." Tama breathed a heavy breath.

But soon after speaking again with a cynical tone. "What I regret here is the negligence of the school until the bullying is like an annual agenda."

"The case of Anja and Cakra, I think is the first and last. Although it occurs at different levels but is in the shade of the same institution." Tama returned to shake. "But it turns out ..." Tama shrugged her shoulders. "Returned. Now it's on to my own son."

Now he knows if Tama has found out the real problem. About the reason Reka started the fight. Also about the attitude of BK teachers who according to him are less balanced.

"Not really," Tama chuckled as soon as the guests left the house and he settled the suspicions by asking directly.

"Just nebak," continued Tama while still chuckling. "The three of you are playing throws no one wants to ngaku."

He looked at Tama for an explanation.

"You're obviously hurt, I know." Look back at him. "They have an ego as high as a mountain just like me. Want to be scraped until next year also will not ngaku. And my wife this ...." Tama grabbed her chin. "Surely because most think. Not good for anyone else. Right?"

He constantly looked at Tama without a blink. It feels like being stripped off by a good detective. Everything is real without any obstructions.

"Oh my goodness, Pocut." Tama shook her head. "Not good to who? Me? Kinan? Whose heart are you guarding?"

Tama rubbed her chin gently. "Please don't hide anything. The first reaction may be very bad. But I have a magic antidote. It's you."

Now his face must have been reddish, because in a short time the heat had spread all over the surface of the skin. Feels warm.

"It." Tama rubbed her chin again. "Rather than making dizziness decided this way. It reduces conflict of interest. Losing one donor will not have a significant effect. The heirloom of the Nation is already the crumb of ripah loh jinawi has the money from the seven corners of the wind."

He took a long breath. "But no lie has been discussed with all wives, Mas."

Tama just stupefied.

And time goes on. Never waited, let alone stopped. Tama has returned to Lembang. Reka remained in school in Pusaka Bangsa. Her three children were following a routine as usual. While he had almost finished the entire meeting at level 1. Includes taking a series of tests to determine personality traits.

"Plegmatic melancholy?" He was confused when he read the test results offered by Amira, a psychologist in counseling sessions. "Is it bad?"

Amira also began to explain the four types of human personality traits as a whole. Then switch to explain the type of plegmatic melancholy along with its shortcomings, advantages, and how to develop the two so as not to contradict each other.

During that time, his heart and mind continued to justify each series of words spoken by the psychologist.

"Melancholy tends to think too much. Sometimes I don't feel confident about starting something new. Fear of being wrong, fear of not being accepted, a lot of worry at the beginning. The ends do nothing." ©

"While plegmatists often struggle when making decisions, making choices, or expressing rejection." ©

"While the melancholy type has the most skills than the other three personalities. Smart, diligent, good at analyzing, have talent and a high level of creativity. Have a full self-awareness of the impact of his or her attitude and behavior on others." ©

"Could you say ... as a person who really appreciates others?"

He swallowed repeatedly.

"This excess is perfected from the side of a placid, peace-loving, non-conflictive plegmatist." ©

"Now we focus on the advantages. You can start with a mindset. Stop right now from the habit of thinking about the opinions of others."

"Because people will keep talking, want us to do all the good things even the bad things. People will never be silent during our existence in the world."

"Stop worrying about the opinions of others. Because the person responsible for us is ourselves. Not anyone else."

"The key is to do your best. Let the results speak."

Slowly, he begins to recognize and build a positive self-image. Step by step feel more accepting, loving, understanding, and at the same time comfortable with yourself.

"Nothing has changed. We are still the same people" Ingrid said. "We learn this not to create fake people, but to maximize our potential for good."

He also learned how to manage his shortcomings. Especially distrust and nervousness when meeting many people. It all starts from the smallest thing, the roleplay speaks in front of the class as often as possible.

"We're trying to talk at a slower tempo." Ingrid gives a solution when he has trouble pronouncing a word in the middle of a sentence. What you want to say is already imagined. But the contents of the head and mouth cannot be adjusted.

"Speaking with a slow tempo, a loud voice, and clear pronunciation so that people hear enough without having to wonder" Ingrid continued.

"Se la mat si ang, per to nal kan na ma sa ya ...."

"Too slow. People will get bored and turn their attention elsewhere." Ingrid. "Do as usual we're chatting."

"Good afternoon. We are meeting today with ... with .. mmm ...." He grimaced because he didn't know what to say.

"One way to minimize nervousness is to master the material to be delivered and understand the characteristics of the listener" Ingrid explained. "With more and more public speaking, confidence will gradually begin to form. Practice makes perfect."

"Good afternoon. Praise our gratitude to God Almighty for bringing us back together in the regular events of the Kemala foundation." He tried to practice at home before the inaugural activity next week. After the children read the Qur'an and deposited their own memorization.

"Shih ...." Sasa giggled while keeping his mouth shut as he spoke.

Icad is still drawing.

Umay suddenly raised his hands high. "When's dinner, Ma?"

"Oh." He sighed in laughter. They had to stop the speech being spoken. "Mama's doing practice, May. Ask as in the paper. Not dinner."

He deliberately typed a number of questions on a piece of paper and shared them with the children. According to Ingrid, the more public speaking the better. That's why he tries to empower children. Think of them as listeners.

"Lunch will wait for Reka to come home" he continued, preparing to continue the speech.

But Umay put on the action of rubbing the stomach with a face that is clear. "Hunger, Ma."

"Bang Umay moved house and ate." Sasa who was still giggling commented. "Eat only his work."

"The school is far away, Sa. Every day walk to Keude. Keep getting hungry." Umay.

The unexpected coincided with the sound of a car engine being heard entering the yard. Following the appearance of Reka while calling for greetings. "Salamotum."

"Gee!" Sasa shook his head while shaking his index finger. "Pronounce the right greeting." This time Sasa imitated the style of mamak's speech while reprimanding Umay.

The designer only laughed while scrambling Sasa's hair. He walked up to her to kiss her hand. Habits that Tama instills in children every time they want to travel or just go home.

"Directly eat, Mas?" He smiles.

Design nodded. And Umay immediately shouted YES while running to the kitchen. "I helped you get the plate!"

At night he was waiting for a call from Tama. Still standing in front of the mirror while talking alone. Someone knocked on the door.

Icad. "Still practicing, Ma?"

He nodded. "When we just talk. But it's hard, Bang?"

"Maybe because Mama doesn't know her people yet."

He looked over with a frown.

"Try if Mama talks to our neighbors' mothers first. Must be good because I know."

"Did you?" He approached Icad with a happy face. Feeling pleased with the Icad speech that he considered as valuable input. "Yes, right. Maybe because Mama has not known the mothers in the office papa so the grout is many times."

"Well, you know the pink aunt who came home?"

He nodded. "Yes, aunt Sarah's with her friends."

In an instant, the idea. Tomorrow he will visit the home of Sarah and other core administrators of the Kemala foundation in person. To connect the cord of friendship and friendship. Perhaps by getting to know her more closely, she no longer felt strange or nervous.

"Udahlah Mama his person did not care, not many who know, just the first time to join the show like this." He exhaled a long breath releasing the complaints.

"It's hard, Ma, so your wife?"

But he shook his head. "Indeed, Mama has a lot to learn, Bang. If you do not try, your experience will not increase. It's like this."

"Learn Mama's success is heavy." Icad smiles. "Mama is so cool now."

Icad laughed.

He also laughed.

But Icad who was still laughing just got up. "Yes already."

He's aghast. "Where are you going?"

"Sleep," Icad replied briefly.

It cringes. "Went here to talk to Mama?"

"Just talk about it." Icad kept moving towards the door.

He was getting clenched not understanding.

"Abang happy to see Mama happy after marriage same om," Icad murmured quickly as he hurried out of the room.

"Just be happy, Ma" Icad said before completely disappearing behind the door.

He was still stunned to see the door that had just closed, when the phone on the nightstand voiced the vibration of the incoming call sign.

Papa Tama calling ....

He grabbed his phone while smiling. May you, may we all be happy.

But sometimes, exams come faster in unexpected ways.

This evening, while he was listening to Umay's memorization, Yuni told him that a guest had come.

"Say brothers far from the village of Koneng, Bu," Yuni said before passing.

And he was surprised when he found that Cing Minah, whose house was not far from the madrasah ustadz Arif, had been sitting in the living room with a pias face.

"Cuts?" Cing Minah who came with a middle-aged man and woman looked at him nanar. "Lu inget Iyan, my nephew?"

He was still trying to remember Minah's niece named Iyan when the middle-aged woman sitting in front of him started sobbing.

"Iyan's my only son. Married balloons there's a year. Now the bin is pregnant young but even hit by a disaster."

According to Cing Minah, that night Iyan just came home from work. "Pas nyampe Kapuk Raya si Iyan mao take right. Udah riting, concerned about rearview, looking right left. But still hit from behind."

He gasped.

"Nyang nabrak Iyan is still a boy, don't wear a helmet." Cing Minah started to tear up. While the middle-aged woman next to him grew sobbing.

"Si Iyan mentally far away from his motorbike. Boy nyang nabrak ...." Clear thread began to fall adorning the tired face of cing Minah. "Backed from behind."

He grabbed Minah's cing hand and held it.

"Si Iyan broke her leg until now the balloons can walk." Cing Minah received a piece of tissue that she stretched out. "Bocah nyang nabrak si Iyan .. still SMP .. not how helpful when taken to the hospital."

It tightens the grip on the hand of Cing Minah who feels ice-cold.

"The guy who hit the Junior High is still in the ICU belom conscious." Cing Minah looked at him with tears in her eyes. "But the police are asking for money on my phone."

He swallowed.

"SMP boy nyang speeding, don't wear a helmet ama don't have a SIM. Nyang people hit a boy also speeding not wearing a helmet. But Nyang was wronged even Iyan." Cing Minah wiped away the tears with a quick movement.

"Si Iyan was considered wrong. He took right mo turn. The straight ones are more important" the male guest explained as he tried to calm the middle-aged woman's sobbing.

"We are designed 8 million to close cases do not need a trial to take a motorbike," continued the male guest with a hardened jaw. "Where's the money? Udah hit by disaster, still in the yang yang he said pengayom society!"

"Cut ...." Mpok Minah looked at him expectantly. "Lu can help, right? Can you give me some lightening? 8 Million for us, Cut."

My tongue doesn't know what to answer. The mamak who heard all of Minah's words just patted her arm slowly.

"Where is TKP?" Tama's voice over a cell phone line sounded inflamed.

And he couldn't help but ask. "Are all the stories I've heard true, Mom?"

That the profession is prone to abuse of office and authority? But only in the heart.

"Which story?" Tanya Tama with a tired tone. "If you speak clearly."

He decided not to extend. He trusted Tama. He just had to keep praying that Tama would not hurt his trust.

And the arrival of Cing Minah turned out to be the beginning of a long journey. Somehow people started coming home. Guided while bringing 1001 problems in hopes Tama can help.

From a neighbor who is well known. "Si Anto catapult brawl. You can take Anto off, right, Cut?"

Brother of his neighbor. "My daughter-in-law got a drug rajia. How much does it take to be free?"

Until someone new has met him. Come home with RW.

"This is my husband's maternal cousin. Their grandmother was a brother and sister," said RW's mother, smiling sweetly. "His youngest son wants to be a cop. 300 is enough, Cut?" Bu RW chuckled. "My brother-in-law three years ago is also out of it. Now the rank is ...."

He did not know to feel sad, disappointed, angry or all three at once. Sad because it turns out some people still judge everything with money. Disappointed that justice has no price. And angry why others think Tama can be bought.

He had not dared to tell this turmoil to Tama. Keep smiling and laughing as if nothing happened every time her husband called.

"Next month I can't go home. You guys are going to Bandung, yeah."

"Yes, Mum."

As soon as Tama finished the call, she immediately hugged herself. Feeling the distinctive masculine scent filled the air around. The fragrance is now her favorite.

"Eh?" Sasa's eyes bulged when he saw her wearing Tama's shirt. "Why is Mom wearing papa's shirt?"

Since a few days ago, every night before bed he deliberately wears Tama clothes. Sometimes shirts, shirts, even jackets. The distinctive fragrance of Tama makes it possible to forget the turmoil about people who come to visit the house intending to buy Tama marwah. Her sleep felt more soundly as if she was sleeping on her husband's sturdy arm. Increasingly strengthen his belief that Tama does have self-esteem that will never be bought. No matter how much temptation comes.

But the visit of an elegant-looking woman one evening managed to tear apart a sturdy fortress that was built with difficulty.

"I'm Zenata's mother, owner of the nitnot account with the most followers. Just a little difference with Nia Nabati who was yesterday named Popular Nitnot of The Year."

It knows the nitnot app is being talked about a lot of people. But never know who Zenata or Nia Nabati.

"Children are creative, the idea is overflowing to the likes of followers to millions, suble." The woman in front of him suddenly had a sad face. "But last night, Zenata was in the wrong place, time, and with the wrong friend."

Zenata and five of his friends were arrested while throwing a party in one of the star-rated hotel suites. Together they found marijuana, vape bottles filled with synthetic marijuana liquid, and meth suction devices.

"It doesn't belong to my son." Zenata's mother shook her head. "My son was just the victim of the wrong place and time. My son is not like that."

"I'm sorry, Mother." After repeatedly dealing with almost the same person. Expecting assistance from the Tama department. Now he can answer straightforwardly. "We can't help."

"I beg you." Zenata's mother insisted. "This case occurred in the jurisdiction led by Mr. Tama. Please help."

He swallowed. "My husband is on educational duty. We really can't help."

"But this can't be denied." Zenata's mother pointed to the pretty hampers that were stored on the table. "As a greeting from Zenata. I really hope we can have a good relationship."

And before moving on, Zenata's mother had time to say. "Maybe you don't know yet, my husband is the grandnephew of a high-ranking police official." He mentioned the full name of the official. "It's easy for us."

He could only take a deep breath and then breathe it out slowly. Hurry to the kitchen to cook dinner.

"Ma? Milk in the fridge out?" Sasa cried when he was putting paprika in the pan. Cooking a special menu for Design, broccoli tofu.

"There, Neng," replied Yuni who was arranging butter fried chicken into a serving plate. "Yesterday Teteh already bought in Indoapril."

"But why .. does not exist?" Sasa shrugged his shoulders.

"Attent." Yuni held up the plate filled with butter fried chicken. "Steak get this over with first, yeah."

"Wait, Sa," he murmured as he sprinkled pepper powder and oyster sauce onto the pan and stirred it.

When he stuffed the tofu egg that had been fried with sesame oil into the frying pan, Sasa sounded exclaiming cheerfully. "Well, Yuni Tea. The milk has been found. Sasa take it, huh?"

Yuni who was walking into the dining room while carrying a plate of butter fried chicken nodded in agreement. But not long after, Sasa yelled again.

"MAMA?"

He immediately turned off the stove and struggled to meet Sasa. "Why?"

Sasa pointed at the UHT milk cardboard stored on the living room table with buying eyes. "It's not milk, Ma ...."

He immediately stroked his chest as soon as he saw Umay holding a red pot of money while he was still grinning. "Magic box. It's not Sasa's favorite milk but money! We're rich. So rich. Rich people. Yichoo!"

Milk card full of red sheets of money is stored under the hampers of Zenata's mother. Tribute money.

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Remarks :

©. : from various sources

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