Renjana Dusk Kala

Chapters 97. Your Words Don't Define Who I Am

Your Words Don't Define Who I Am

(Your words don't define who I am)

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Jakarta

Design

Having no friends is not the end of everything.

Since he still lives in Surabaya, he has been used to being alone. Never rely on the number of friends you have. Even though joined in a number of chat groups are crowded, but the real friend is just a Filio. Friends have been in kindergarten uniform since they joined the same swimming club. That never changes, let alone increase.

He doesn't want to be friends. I want to live a normal life like a child in general. Have a solid friendship gang. Go and go to school together. Every weekend the road to the Mall is crowded. Or just hanging out discussing the absurd while laughing out loud. But it never worked. Most children are lazy to befriend him. According to Filio, it was because he was too haughty and ignorant.

"Kon catches, ketoro teapot raimu (you're too arrogant. It looks on your face)."

Filio. Even everyone who thinks he is arrogant based on facial expressions. He is a shy person who is less able to communicate. That simple.

But maybe, his world was already destined to be black and white was not colorful. Since sitting on the SD bench, he has often been a target for months of teasing. Anything can be a material. The father who was never seen. Mother is too busy. Mbah uti who often scolded friends if mocking him. Paklek Miko with special needs. All without exception.

From the usual joke that goes in the right ear comes out the left ear. Until the ridicule ends with insults that make him inflamed but can only cry because he is unable to fight. Over time, the ability to defend oneself begins to grow and take root. No longer resigned or crying every time mengundung. But immediately rampaged and hit anyone without knowing fear.

Often he returned home battered and bleeding. It was like getting a double jab (a straight punch to the face) that produced two scars at once. Physical and heart. But over time I got used to it. No longer angry or angry if scorned. I no longer know how to express my pain.

So when he had to move schools to Jakarta, he did not feel disturbed even though he did not have friends. Just never thought that the boys at the new school would hate him so much. While the girls even overflow it with attention.

"Lo the new kid dares to fuck around?" It was the first warm welcome for him from two of the most influential children of their generation, Agler and Edgard.

Even though he did nothing. Never hang out with anyone. The one who often invites him to chat is only miss Angeline the homeroom teacher.

"Did they like to swim?" Miss Angeline asks on her first day of school. Looking at it with sparkling eyes like just discovering a treasure from within the bowels of the earth.

"Like."

"What are the ideals of Design in the field of swimming?"

He wants to be like Michael Phleps, his idol swimmer. But what he said was, "Nothing."

Miss Angeline smiled as she lifted her master book. "The list of championships that they have won is not enough written in one sheet. Miss hopes to add up in the next page."

"The school will provide the best support. After this Miss will contact coach Reka to ensure academic activities and swimming can be in line."

And Mr. Engkos, the school boy.

"How much do you like hanging out in such a quiet place, Den? To the canteen, rame."

"Males."

"Lho, weird? Often called by her name the same pretty girls even males."

He also tried to be invisible and not attract attention. Rest hours are more often spent in the library reading biographies of world-successful sportsmen. Even the box that piled up in the drawer was never touched.

"Hi, Design." A girl suddenly said hello. "We're in class but you're cute, anyway?"

He just stared at the butterfly clasp in the girl's hair. Not interested in answering. Because scenes like this have often been experienced until they feel bored themselves.

"Gift from me has not been opened yet? Don't like?"

He looked straight ahead. Where the sullen-faced girl he had met at the wedding reception dad just walked into the classroom laughing.

"I don't like gifts" he answered briefly without taking his eyes off the pouting face.

"Trus, what do you like, dong?"

He still looked at the sullen face that was chatting with his friends. "Nobody likes it."

"Including don't like me? Really, Reka?"

He can draw conclusions if living in Jakarta is as boring as in Surabaya. The only difference is the noise at home. Just this time he found there was a child as pretentious and a lot of talk like Umay. Just this time he also met a little girl as serious as Sasa. He could never even refuse if Sasa forced him to play together.

Besides nothing special.

Dad, even though it has changed now. I like to joke and smile more. But they never really talked to each other. The distance that was stretched was still too wide.

Aunt Pocut has always been kind and gentle with her. Every day pamper his stomach with delicious dishes and dishes. Until the trainer adds a portion of special exercise compared to other friends to maintain ideal body weight. But Aunt Pocut was clearly too careful every time she asked him to speak. He's like a stranger hitching a ride in dad's new house. Feeling alone.

And Icad is not much different. Still as quiet as the first time they met.

But his avoidance at school actually sparked new problems and sparked hostility.

One day while he was helping Mr. Engkos turn on an electric sprayer inside the school's green house, a group of children came closer.

"Gue has learned, but you're a dagger!"

"How dare you take Driti lo?"

He doesn't know who Driti is. The faces of the girls who often greet him look the same as each other. He could not tell them apart and had trouble remembering names. But Agler's zinc accusations managed to nudge his ego.

"If so, why?"

Agler immediately punched him but he ran away.

"Dare to touch Driti, I'm abisin lo!"

"Huh, N jing!" Edgard looked at his face. "Lo decetin-free anyone but Driti!"

He grins. "If Driti likes me the same, trouble you?"

BUGS!

This time he could not escape because Agler's hit was very fast.

But he can still grin even with a stiff jaw and achy former hit. "It could be a joke!"

"Make an an jing!" Agler's face was getting red. Started taking a swing to hit him again. "Robble, lo!"

But he still had time to grin cynically. "One against one if you dare."

"Let's die, lo!"

"Haw, Gler!"

"Abyssin!"

"Jan, forgive me!"

All who were there began to surround him while calling for an expletive.

But he still wants to talk about aggravation. "Lo insecure afraid of competing with me, is it my fault? Driti chose me more than you, it's my fault too? Cement!"

As soon as he finished the last sentence, the first punch instantly landed right on the right jaw. Following kicks, kicks, stomps. But the panic cries of Mr. Engkos managed to stop the unbalanced fight.

Not at all expecting a long tail. It even ended in a fierce fight because the behavior of Agler and the gank had exceeded the limit. They gave the worst insults to the people in his life. Even spread it all over the school.

Mention for mother to be the most hurt. Because he knows for sure if until now the mother is still struggling hard to make peace with herself. Even understand very well if the mother regrets everything that has happened even though she has no power to improve let alone change the situation.

While Aunt Pocut, he never saw any strange during their stay together. He had never even seen Aunt Pocut's hair again other than at the hotel after the wedding reception some time ago. During his stay at home, Aunt Pocut always wears long clothes and a veil all day. She wondered if she was trying to ask Sasa.

"Ih, I'm cute, deh. Gini time doesn't know? Mama is embarrassed to look the same hair as Agus." Sasa shook his head. "No no no, no one can see your hair except papa. Hihih ...."

He did not understand the meaning of Sasa's answer. It's so precious to aunt Pocut that only you can see it. Yes, although he also admitted that Aunt Pocut's hair is beautiful shiny.

And he did not feel sorry even though his hit managed to send Agler and Edgard to the hospital as well as resulting in a suspension. Because he was 101% sure after this incident, no one dared to bother him anymore.

"When do you go to school?" Ask dad this morning after dawn prayers to take him jogging around the complex. Just the two of them without Icad and Umay.

"Lusa" he answered briefly.

Along with the time with the father who no longer runs small. Walk slowly while muttering softly. "It's like dad's knees are starting to pop."

He followed his father on his usual walk.

"Today I have to go to Lembang again."

He nodded.

"Not had time to go to school to solve yesterday's problems."

He stopped the step. "Not come. It's done."

"Is it just you here who doesn't know the problem?"

He just looked down. "Ordinary matter."

"What did they say about mom and dad?"

He's still down. "nothing important. It's broken even with a punch."

"With two stitches?" Dad laughed.

"With two stitches." Want to not smile.

He shook. "Ribet if you have to move again."

Even though school in Pusaka Bangsa is not fun. But moving is not a way out. He wanted to show the meaning of courage. Dare to be different, dare to fight bullying, dare to survive. The children of the Nation's Heritage clearly wrongly chose him as the victim.

My breath sounds heavy. "Remember the same friend whose name is Riyadh?"

He shook. Dad's friend pretty much. Very much in fact. He could not remember and memorize them one by one.

"We used to be in a school. But Riyadh did not feel at home and chose to run away." Dad smiled. "Can you run away from a government boarding school?"

"Seru?" He looked at dad.

"Double killed." Dad's still smiling. "Compose the strategy until 7 days and 7 nights."

He couldn't imagine running away from a boarding school. Certainly not as easy as when he fled from Surabaya to Jakarta.

"And caught the same nanny." Dad's eyes glare.

He also became interested in listening to the story.

"Brought home to the dorm. Punished. Dissolved. That's Riyadh." Dad looked at. "But not kapok. Next month, run away again. There was no fear when his father Danrem (commander Korem)."

Dad still looked at him. "Yes, Riyadh ran away because he did not want to go to semi-military High School which eventually became a soldier like his father wanted."

"The third sow has just succeeded" continued the father. "Directly DO, expelled from the house, same mother sent to school in the village, live with her family of housemaids. Once graduated directly entered the faculty of dreams in Bandung, architecture. Continue master's degree to America. Worked and lived there for many years. Just returned to Indonesia after the father was sickly because he regretted having expelled his son."

"Dad doesn't want to be like that." Dad looked at her sharply. "Father does not want our time lost just because of selfishness and lack of understanding of the father's desire to design."

"Dad's lost Reka's childhood." Dad patted her shoulder. "Not to lose anymore. Dad wanted to see Reka and the sisters grow up. I want to be there to see everything. Without exception."

He lowered. "I'm not Riyadh."

Dad laughed. "But it could be as consequential as Riyadh?"

He looked at dad.

"Consequences with the choice of Design remains a school in Pusaka Bangsa? Sure you can go through everything that happens? This is the last offer. Because you rarely give twice a chance."

He sighed.

"Father follow the wishes and ideals of the designer. Whatever it is. It doesn't have to be this, so it is. I only asked for one thing. Must be sure, consistent, consistent. If in doubt, step back from now."

He swallowed the salivary.

"Now, if Reka still chose a school there. Can you guarantee you won't change your mind? Can you go to school for two years until you graduate? Can you get through every day there? Are you sure of the decision you made?"

He swallowed the saliva again.

"Give me time to think. If you have a decision, you can call me right away." Dad grabbed his shoulder and they went back in tandem.

"Eight hours later, the homeroom teacher and the foundation person will come to the house."

"Well?" He stopped his steps and broke away from father's embrace.

"Dad wants to make things clear."

"Udah clear. Want to be flanked again?" He doesn't agree that I invited Miss Angeline home.

"We'll see."

"Don't be weird, Dad. Miss Angeline is the best homeroom teacher."

"Not going to do anything." Dad chuckles. "Please calm down."

"No confidence."

"No problem."

He laughed even though he felt bad.

Dad put her back in. This time it was tighter. "Precision is important. I'm proud you defended your mother's and mother's good name. But sometimes, people see it as arrogance."

He nodded.

"Wherever we are, there will be people who really like us. The opposite is true, there are people who will hate us for no reason. You have to face both."

He nodded back. His heart began to feel warmth. It was like having a father. Delightful. Incredibly fun.

"Remember the story of the man and the donkey." Dad just kept talking. "Any child who rides a donkey, people consider a child ignorant. Father alone riding a donkey, people consider not to love children. Father and son both ride donkeys, people consider torturing animals. No one rides a donkey, people consider bo doh because it does not use the facilities."

Dad patted her shoulder. "That's life. Whatever we do, no matter how good we try, there is always a gap for others to think we're bad."

He nodded at my father's long speech. I hope the journey home is long. Because I still want to hear my father talk at length. It feels really fun. Very delightful.

"Mama said you don't have any friends yet."

He didn't answer.

"Once in a while go with the flow is okay. Do not be alone continue. Not to follow or eliminate the identity. Socialization is important. Sometimes bring a school or club friend home. Nyobain delicious mama's cooking."

He sighed.

"Or the road to the Mall crowded." Father looked. "How many girls have you shot?"

He grinned and laughed heartily.

"Laughter means a lot." Dad nodded his head with a witty face. "Indeed you're a real dad duplicate. SMP time also many fathers who have a crush, giving letters, gifts ...."

"Well?" He grumbles.

"Lho, don't believe it?"

"Believe .. believe." He tried to escape from the embrace of his father because he felt amused.

"But your face does not reflect speech." Dad pointed at his face with a frown.

"Whatever." He laughed and walked ahead of my father.

Unfortunately in the distance began to look fence official house. And before they entered the courtyard of the house, the father again said.

"They, you should know, their words don't define who you are, right?"

He looked at dad. Wanted to hug the white-shirted man and the black training pants that were standing before him right now. But still be arrested. He just nodded and kept nodding. Until Sasa's carefree greeting restored his consciousness.

"Papa sama Reka really long, anyway, where aja? Cheating ah, Sasa was not invited."

Exactly at 8 am miss Angeline and the two men she had just seen came to the house. Sit in the living room with father and aunt Pocut until he is sleepy while waiting. A fairly time-consuming meeting was either talking about what.

When she came home, Miss Angeline patted her shoulder with a smile. "Lusa, we'll see you back at school, Reka."

He nodded.

Before his afternoon back to Lembang, he had said. "Dad wait for the phone. Whenever Reka changes her mind, move schools immediately."

He swallowed the salivary. "Here is. Don't move."

Two days later, he returned to school. With a new spirit, become a new design. As I told you the other day. Key beliefs.

And he was surprised that he couldn't put the bag in the desk drawer.

"As long as you're suspended, a lot of stuff is stuck in there, huh." Point Javas towards the drawer half-literate. "For a long time can make fans club, Reka lovers. Ahaha!"

He only sighed while grabbing one of the outer boxes. Dark blue without ribbon. But there is an aesthetic sticker with black marlin on the top right. With a light blue post it patch underneath.

To : Design

From : The Kejora

He looked directly at the number two bench in the third row. The seat of the pouty-faced girl named Kejora.

Tumben, his mind while grinning.

"From who? Member gank ciwi-ciwi nge-hits is there for sure?" Apparently Javas is still following his movements. "If you don't like it, then give away to a classmate. It must be rame."

"Nerr is so." Kane is coming. "Or want to be given as well. That's fine."

He just laughed. "No, lah. Let it be here until it's taken again the same one who loves."

Javas and Kane grumbling. "Daddy, lo."

And before miss Lestari, their math teacher came into the classroom. He still had time to put the dark blue box into the bag. A little strange and quite stressful worrying about being caught by someone else. He was quite curious why the scowling face suddenly gave a parcel.

"Hi, Reka, welcome back at school." The butterfly hairpin girl greeted him again at the break. "Lo want to take me to the cafeteria, don't you?"

He rubbed his neck awkwardly before answering. "Can."

Occasionally go with the flow. Do not be alone continue. Because socialization is important, his mind while smiling considering the words of the father.

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