Renjana Dusk Kala

Chapter 34. You Can't Always Get What You Want

You Can't Always Get What You Want

(You can't always get what you want)

taken from the title track owned by The Rolling Stones, an English-American rock band

***

Jakarta

Quintessence

The first day he set foot in the funeral home, he was treated to an unusual sight. While seeing Mas Tama along with a woman in the backyard of the house.

It felt so special to him, because his eyes managed to capture the gesture (attitude) is different when the two people talk to each other. Mas Tama even blatantly showed sparks (sparks - love-fire), which he had not seen for a long time. It was gone from the grasp. Until he finds it back in someone else, Mas Pram.

But he was not rash to draw conclusions. Too early is almost impossible. Because the woman who was with Mas Tama looked different. Far from what he imagined.

The woman clearly did not meet the criteria of fashionable and confident. Too ordinary for their size. Although it must be admitted there is one universal nature that is indisputable, true beauty (true beauty).

He immediately forgot the figure of the woman in the backyard. Especially with the presence of a series of high-class women (high-class women) who specifically come to the house. Just to find Mas Tama. Want to convey a sense of condolence. Definition of always get what you want (always get what you want). Alias treasure, throne, women are already in the grasp of a Wiratama Yuda.

But alpanya gesture and sparks when Mas Tama chatted with high-class women, making him think back to the woman in the backyard.

And now, he found Mas Tama sitting at the dining table. Together with the woman who miraculously rekindled the sparks in Mas Tama's eyes. Successfully provoked a sense of wanting to prove a stirring. Whether his guess should stop was just a baseless assumption. Or is it a delayed reality?

Suddenly he was afraid of losing.

Fear of losing something that doesn't even belong to her anymore.

Fear of losing the most precious thing he voluntarily let go of in the past.

He smiles. Looking at the simple woman beside him who looked so nervous and anxious. Then turned to look at Mas Tama, who was just putting on a flat expression.

"Wouldn't you like to know the two of us?" He's still smiling. Staring at Mas Tama whose face water turned hard.

"Udah right?" Tama asked back. "Pocut, this is Kinan. My ex-wife. Kinan, this is Pocut ...."

"As ...." He deliberately hung the sentence.

But Mas Tama just shook his head, "Not now (not now)."

He smiled bitterly. When I found the truth in Mas Tama's eyes. If there is someone who appears in the heart of Mas Tama. But it wasn't him.

"Sorry .. I am to bela ..."

"There's nothing to worry about, Pocut," Mas Tama quickly said. Holding the woman next to him so as not to move.

"Sit here. Keep me eating."

His laughter almost broke. For the sake of hearing a simple word wrapped in honey as sweet as spoken by Mas Tama. Something he rarely accepts first. Almost never even.

"There's something I have to do in the back" Pocut insisted.

So does Mas Tama, "There's nothing you have to do behind the back."

"You've been sitting at this table before us. We should be ashamed to make you feel uncomfortable" continued Mas Tama while staring at Pocut with full earnestness. Then switch to giving a warning look at him.

He smiled bitterly, "A chance like this doesn't come twice."

"Even maybe it won't happen again" he continued increasingly challenged to prove. "Didn't want to take advantage of this moment to introduce the two of us."

"There's design too" he continued, becoming more and more unstoppable. "Maybe we can sit four and talk about what we should be."

"I know Mas, a moment like this is bound to happen," he tried to smile. "I've been waiting a long time."

"Don't be silly (don't be silly)," Mas Tama stared at him sharply. There's a flash of disagreement there. "Now it's still in the mood of grief."

"And you want us to talk about something like this?" Mas Tama nodded in disbelief.

"We're talking about something else," said Mas Tama as he put down the spoon and pushed the dishes that still contained food away. "*****my meal was instantly gone."

He sighed. Be aware if it is too hot. It was as if there was an indisputable strong impulse leading him to do so.

Inevitably the atmosphere of awkward and stiff increasingly out. Put the three of them in their seats. No one is interested in breaking the silence.

All that was left was for people to talk to each other. The clink of the sound of plates, spoons, and forks clashing. Catering officers and a number of domestic workers. Guests who keep coming. The three of them remained silent without a word.

He who is curious wants to prove it. Mas Tama who was annoyed with his muscles. The babble all the time looked nervous and agitated.

Until a loud enough cry finally managed to break the agonizing silence.

"WOW! AMAZING (remarkable)!"

The three of them turned towards the sound.

"Against the reunion here turns out ...." Sada grinned in a seductive style. Look at their faces one by one with a full search. Then pat Mas Tama's shoulder quite hard.

"From the commander in front," said Sada who was still grinning. "The way is to start. It's a three-footer."

Mas Tama had reached for a glass filled with white water. Sipped it up the toilet. Then he glanced towards Pocut. Before finally leaving. Just passing through it.

"Please continue ...." Seloroh Sada who immediately followed the steps of his brother. Leaving them both in an awkward atmosphere.

"Sorry ...."

"Sorry ...."

He and Pocut said the same word at a time.

He smiles.

And so is Pocut.

"Sep apart too?" Guess I don't want to lose the moment.

Pocut.

"With husband?" The link is clearer.

"Oh ...." Pocut exhaled a long breath. "My husband is dead."

He stared with regret, "Sorry."

Pocut smiled.

He sighed before starting to say, "Me and Mas Tama are officially separated."

"We have one son. That was sitting here."

Pocut looked at him with a nervous expression.

"Our home life is far from perfect." Head bowed. Look at the plate in front of him that was empty.

"I don't have the right to hear all this" Pocut said with an uncomfortable look.

He smiled, "But I want a story."

Pocut.

He still smiled trying to convince, "I'm always curious .. who can take the heart of Mas Tama."

"Which woman made Mas Tama interested. Ready to open a new page. Forgetting past failures."

"Now I am relieved to have met ...." He grabbed Pocut's hand.

"Maybe it's going to be a little difficult. Moreover, our previous relationship was quite complicated. Because both obey the ego."

Pocuts could only stare at him.

"I look forward to the happy news ...." With full of relief.

The corner of his heart ached when he saw how Mas Tama looked at Pocut. So deep, hopeful, even impressed adoring. A luxury he had never received.

It triggers a pinch of jealousy and unwillingness that is quite disturbing. Making him wonder, why exactly this simple figure who managed to make Mas Tama interested. Is it really as simple as this taste of Mas Tama?

He was even more able to tolerate if Mas Tama chose one among a series of high-class women who came to visit. But in reality, Mas Tama actually did not care about their presence. Mas Tama looks more alive only when dealing with this simple woman.

I don't know. Interest has always been a mystery. And the feeling cannot be forced.

Perhaps Mas Tama had managed to find the hidden pearl that had been sought after in this simple figure. True beauty outside inside (true beauty inside out).

Just like her. Who had first found peace in Mas Pram. Finding the happiness that has been sought.

Ah, he took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly. Now his heart and feelings began to light and bright. No longer burdened by past mistakes.

Hope your happiness, Mas.

***

Tama

His main priority right now is to keep my mom. To get up and get back to life. Besides that, you can wait. Pocut Included.

Because Reka did not also melt with his request. Keep flinching back to Surabaya with Kinan on the third day. The lure and the request of the mother was not even ignored by Reka.

"Sorry, Mas," Kinan looked at him regretfully.

He just kept silent and did not answer. Being angry is useless. The plan still refused to grant his wish.

Okay, Reka. If your stance is as hard as a rock. Let's look ahead, what can make your inner heart soften.

And with the gathering of a large family, almost certainly there are various stories. There is a gemah ripah loh jinawi. Someone was tested for pain. There's household life on the edge of the horn. Some have achieved fantastic achievements in their careers.

Including hot topics about om Raka who is struggling to get blessing.

"Shaina's grandson .. needs intensive care. Must have a smart connecting mother. Can what people who have never eaten college take care of menus, activities, therapy that is so njelimet ...." Harti's aunt, om Raka's mother.

"Ma ...." The protests of Raka.

"Find the corresponding wife Raka .... Obviously seedlings, bebet, the weights. Not just play well and beautiful immediately interested."

He just shook his head. Even at the age of a mature child, parents still interfere in the affairs of a mate.

"Mama is old. Soon after, Mas Setyo. Please make the rest of your life calm. Choose a wife to be proud of. It's reliable."

He shook his head again. Inexhaustible understanding with the mind path of Aunt Harti. Maybe if Aunt Harti knows the quality of a line of women who approach Om Raka. Most of which only target social status and property to style hedon. Aunt Harti can hang directly. You can immediately repent and want to immediately propose to Pocut at this time. Whoa, danger.

"Hot cup?" The Seloroh Sada who had suddenly sat down next to him.

"DAS!" I practiced the style of cutting things. "One rival automatically dies. Which other delights do you deny?"

He just grinned. Not interested in responding.

Still concentrating on my mom. The faithful embrace sorrow. As if unwilling to let go.

He even still lives at home. Accompanying mom. Waiting until my mother asks him to leave.

Like this time, when he came home before dawn. After leading operations in the field. Mom was waiting for him in the middle room.

"Wake up or haven't slept?" Ask suspiciously. While the atmosphere of the house is quiet. Everyone is still sleeping under the blanket.

"Ult ... Mama waiting for papa to come home it feels worried, deg-degan, afraid of something happening," mama murmured with eyes glaring.

"Now ... Mama's waiting for you to come home still feels the same," mama looked at him deeply.

"Have not eaten yet? Or go straight to sleep?"

He breathed a long breath. Grabbing mom into the arms.

"Mama sleeps. Don't wait for Tama to come home" he whispered behind his back.

"Eating is just as easy to sleep. Mama don't worry."

Mama did not answer. Just patted his back a few times.

But she knew that she had tears behind her back.

Such a great sense of loss is sometimes difficult to ignore. It is not about not being sincere or lamenting fate. But about the sense of belonging that seems reluctant to go. Even stay in the heart.

"Mama must be kept busy, Mas," Dara said by phone. Oh, well, it looks like Dara is officially his spiritual advisor.

"Find a fun activity. Activities that can be cathartic" continued Dara.

"Have ideas?" He asked back. "Women probably know better what they want."

"Enjoying a hobby, Mas," replied Dara. "It's a hobby of gardening, cooking, berta ...."

"Cooking!" Quickly ambush. "Good ideas!"

"But don't use the mode yes, Mas," Dara reminded.

He just shrugged, "Yes ... thin ...."

"Main beautiful dong, ah!" Another voice suddenly joined in, Sada. "Ke gap ama Cakra could be Baratayudha."

He chuckled, "Everything under control (safe under control)."

He himself came to see Pocut in Persada's taste.

"I thought you were leaving the end of the month?"

"Extended seven days," replied Pocut who must have felt astonished by his appearance.

"There's some work that I haven't done yet" Pocut continued with nervousness that seemed to be a trade mark every time they spoke.

He just grinned. Obviously the most reasonable reason to seduce someone on the grounds of work. Well, that means the mode has hit anyone indiscriminately.

"Can you just give me a minute?" He must not lose his manners. "There's something I want to talk to you about."

Pocut looks doubtful. But he never gave up.

"About my mom ...." If he does not want to get a rejection, of course he must give the most reasonable reason that is quite convincing.

"I don't think go all the way to the Mall like this" Pocut lamented as he turned the wheel to a shopping mall.

"We need a comfortable place to talk" he replied briefly. Not receiving complaints.

"And we have agreed that you will not shy away from me ...." He greeted with complete calm.

He knew Pocut was uncomfortable. But someone has to start, right? Who else if not him.

"What does it feel like to lose?" But he opened the conversation with something sensitive.

Pocut.

"How deep is the wound left?"

Pocut sighed, "Very deep."

She smiled, "You still remember your husband? Thought about?"

Pocut looks nervous, "Every day ...."

"You don't want to forget it or ...."

"All memories come by themselves" replied Pocut half-down. "I have no power to refuse."

"How long?"

"I'm sorry?" Pocut.

"How many years has your husband been gone?"

Pocut looks uncomfortable, "Three almost four ...."

He nodded in understanding. Time not too long ago. It is natural if it is still imagined.

"I think ... are we going to talk about Niar's mom?" Pocut.

He smiled, "Yes. My mother still feels sad."

"Can .... I ask for help with you?" Ask wishes.

"What?"

"After resign ... can occasionally come to the house? Accompanying my mom I tried a new recipe maybe .. or yes ...."

"There's Anjani?"

"Anja is busy in college," she shook her head. "Mama often bengong by herself during the day. The ends are sadly drawn out."

"There is Dekgam .. I mean ... Arian ...."

"Yes," he nodded. "Aran helped my mother a lot to forget about sadness. But that's not enough."

"Mama still has free time reminiscent of sadness and solitude" he continued.

"But my mother refused to leave the house" she shrugged her shoulders. "Go to the factory, office, check here and there as usual ... no longer attractive to mama."

"Mama doesn't want to do activities, or visit a place, or meet people who remind papa ...."

"Maybe by staying home but busy cooking or doing other things with someone known ... can help you a little to forget about the loss ...."

"I'll be very grateful ...." He smiles.

***

Remarks :

Catarsis.: the release of negative emotions and feelings from within in a positive way.

***