Renjana Dusk Kala

Chapter 82. Without you My Soul will not be whole

Jakarta

Pocktail

He looked at the reflection of the face in the mirror. Although it is not clear because the lighting of the room is quite dim. But still able to recognize the brown iris that clearly shows a sense of nervousness.

"Well, remember when you first met Tama?" The question posed by Ms. Niar the other day after they did the fitting of clothes for a contract suddenly rotated to meet the head.

He even had to swallow before answering. "In ... remarriage of Anjani and Agam."

"Me or Sada?" Be the first sentence most remembered. When he asked members of the Anjani family to do peusijuek on the two brides.

"What's the first impression?" Madam Niar looked at him.

He shook. Because almost forget the figure of Tama if the man did not invite him to talk at length at the dining table.

"Impressive?" Miss Niar smiled.

He looked embarrassed. "That time .. I consider mas Tama as the sister-in-law of Agam. So ...." Again he had to swallow. "Obviously. Just like everyone else."

Miss Niar laughed. "The answer is far different."

He doesn't understand.

"Tama said ... Your first meeting was very memorable." Miss Niar smiled.

She blushed. That fellow.

He exhaled a long breath while continuing to gaze at the reflection in the mirror.

"Reason for accepting Tama?" The voice of Niar's mother returned to the memory.

I don't know how many times he has performed this prayer. Including asking for prayers to mamak, chat with Agam, a long story with Anjani, and .. Sasa's joy every time he met Tama.

"Much."

"The main reason?"

He lowered. "Because .. children."

"Kids?"

He nodded. "My three children rarely get close to men other than their late father and Agam. But with mas Tama ... children seem comfortable and familiar quickly."

Except Icad, his inner self is in the heart. Until now, Icad still keeps his distance even though he no longer puts on a grim face if Tama approaches or asks.

"Why accept Tama who has failed? Doesn't that mean ... Tama has shortcomings and mistakes in the past that may not have been corrected. It can happen again even with different people."

He took a deep breath and then took it slowly. "Everybody has a past and a shortcoming. Including me."

"That's not the answer." Miss Niar shook her head.

He swallowed. "I ... less can explain."

Miss Niar smiled. "Sorry, Pocut. Mama asked like this not because of meddling or kepo. Just wanted to get used to it so that later it won't be a surprise."

"Chats like this are very common in our environment. Because the culture is like this. There is even a saying that it is better to retreat than to hesitate. Better not at all than was was was."

"Leave anything dubious" he added.

Miss Niar is still smiling. "Like that."

"Later the chat that develops will be very clear, detailed, to the point. There is no such thing as a stale base. For those who are not used to it will feel rejected or cornered. The climate is like this. It must be prepared from now on."

"If people ask .. answer straightforwardly, clearly, calmly. No need to fear wrong. Because nothing is wrong. It's just a matter of habituation."

"Must be confident, learn to choose the right sentence equivalent, do not hesitate at any time to be asked to speak in public."

"There's no shame. Forward first. Long time too accustomed."

"Just take it .. Now we're training."

"Being an officer's wife like Tama must be ready for inner birth."

"Otherwise the times have changed. In the past, the variety of crime has not been as extreme as now. The level of people's closeness is also increasing. Compassion has become a rare item. We need to be more vigilant and watchful."

"As a companion, we must be prepared if at any time we are in the most undesirable situation."

"Continue developing. Improve capability. In any field. It doesn't have to be academic or formal."

"Cooking ability is obviously good capital. Stay sharpened and increasingly improved. It can be a way into various groups. Could lead us to play a role."

He looked at the mirror and said slowly. "My name is Pocut Halimatussadiah, a mother of three children, only a graduate of SMK."

Then take a long breath. "Include me, my name is Pocut Halimatussadiah. Have three children."

He shook. "I'm Pocut. It's usually just cooking. Never experienced let alone traveling far."

He closed his eyes while gulping and muttering. "Must be confident .. must be confident ...."

He slowly opened his eyes and threw the best smile in front of the mirror. "My name is Pocut. Mother of three children. Hobbies cooking. Feeling lucky to meet someone like mas Tama ...."

But then her smile faded. "But also worried because soon will enter a new world that is very much different from before."

"Fear of not being able to do your best. Fear of disappointing many people, especially Tama. Fear ...."

He covered his face with both palms. "Could. Must keep learning. You have to learn every day. Must read a lot. Must ... must ...."

He looked back at the mirror. "Could. Bismillah."

The next day, he had even prepared an hour before Tama came to pick him up.

"Mrs ...." Sasa repeatedly looked at him while smiling. "Pretty bangeeet."

"The wood is baguuus." Sasa rubbed the clothes he was wearing. "Haluuuus's fabric ...."

"Sasa," he lamented. "Don't make Mama more groggy."

"What's that tooth, Ma?"

He exhaled a long breath unable to answer Sasa's question.

Just one hour before their scheduled meeting in Polda Metro, Tama came to pick up.

"Why?" Ask with straight forward eyes. Look at the queue of vehicles creeping in the middle of the traffic jam.

But Tama did not answer. Just smiling wryly as he kept looking at her.

"Please focus your eyes on the road," he complained more and more of a bitch because Tama was still smiling looking at him.

"Can his eyes be straight ahead? Don't go sideways." He looked in disbelief because Tama did not stop looking at him.

Tama is laughing. "Eye to the road. Heart to side."

Ish. Tama's behavior lately often makes him inexhaustible. Often saying trivial things tends to be laughable that makes his face red and heated.

"No need to be nervous" said Tama as soon as they arrived at the human resources bureau building Polda Metro. "It's just relaxing."

He nodded but repeatedly gulped nervously.

Tama took her up to the second floor to the assessment room. Then an officer gave him a map containing a number of forms that must be filled. Among them are curriculum vitae, affidavit willing to follow the husband, letter of willingness to care for stepchildren, and others.

Soon, five men and a woman dressed in pink entered the room. All of them greeted Tama while joking.

"Izin gave the order, Commander."

"Well, the bride-to-be is more senior than the director. Where is this anyway?"

Tama just laughed hearing the slur aimed at them.

And it turns out, what was feared never happened. The trial, which he said sounded stiff and tense, has not been proven. He and Tama were only asked to listen to a number of directives from relevant officials about their duties, rights and duties as a police extended family and middle officer wives. The rest is about information about activities in the area and resort police environment that must be known. Including parcels for him in the form of uniform.

"It's not hard, is it?" Tama said as soon as the steering wheel left the HR Bureau building Polda Metro. Having previously replaced the PDH uniform (daily service clothes) with a gray shirt and jeans. "Later get used to it."

"Maybe .. I should meet more often and talk to more people" he replied, looking down.

"Now it is."

"What?"

"Pronunciation exercise."

He nodded in not understanding

"We talk like this. Think of it as an exercise. The more you talk, the better. Especially if we're looking for a place that's comfortable, there's good food, good music."

He sighed in disbelief because without asking first, Tama had turned the wheel into the Mall area that was not far from the HI Roundabout.

"This is our first date after SIK (marriage license) went down." Tama smiled knot.

He could only shake in disbelief. "Forcing will."

Tama invited him to enter the mall which some time ago had been beside him with Niar and Reka, when he was about to measure kebaya to akad.

"You must like it." Tama leads him to an exclusive restaurant located in the middle of the atrium mall.

But he disagreed. "This place is scary" he muttered nervously as he stepped on the ash-coloured tiles of the restaurant.

Tama shook her head. "You should try all the delicious food. Because I'm sure you can cook it at home with a more delicious taste."

A restaurant employee escorted them to a green, extinct semi-circular sofa. With decorative foliage hanging on it. What a comfortable atmosphere for visitors. But definitely not at the price. He felt nervous because this place was too expensive for a person like himself.

"What do you want to eat?"

He looked at Tama. "Can you please choose ... the cheapest." The last sentence was spoken while whispering in shame.

Tama just smiled. Then choose a menu that sounds foreign to the ear. "Roasted chicken, chocolate lava cake, fruit danish, delicious berry."

Only one is familiar enough. "Oxtail op."

While waiting for the order to come, he circulated a glance. The atmosphere of the restaurant in this open area is crowded with visitors. Almost all available seats are filled.

A small stage in the front area of the restaurant is now featuring music. While behind the stage can be seen clearly escalators and balconies upstairs mall.

He smiled looking at Tama who seemed to be hungry. Because as soon as the order came, it instantly devoured it with quick and solemn movements. As if you are not willing if there is time wasted.

He also followed Tama. Eating food in silence. Feel the roasted chicken menu that turns out to be roasted chicken. Served with a beautiful look with carrots, potatoes, and sauce.

Mm. This boneless chicken meat feels tender and savory on the tongue. Fitting roof. Must be due to a good marination process. All of it combined with the delicious sauce mix between beef broth, cream, and mushroom sprinkles. At some point, he would try to cook it himself at home.

Oh. Suddenly his face warmed up. Feeling ashamed for what he had just thought was exactly like Tama said. And to erode the shame, he tried to turn his gaze toward the stage.

"L is for the way you look at me

(L is for the way you look at me)

O is for the only one I see

(O is for the only one I see)."

(Nat King Cole, L.O.V.E)

But his steps were wrong. Because now his heart seems to stop beating. His hands started shaking. And his eyes could not blink watching the man standing on stage singing a song.

The posture. Face line. Typical deep and heavy sound. The man ....

"V is very, very extraordinary

(V is very, very remarkable)

E is even more than anyone that you adore

(E even more than anyone you like)."

(Nat King Cole, L.O.V.E)

" ...., yeah?" She looked at him warmly.

But he didn't hear anything Tama said. Because the tears have gone down to wet the cheeks.

"And love is all that I can give to you

(and love is all I can give you)"

(Nat King Cole, L.O.V.E)

"Pout?" Tama gave him a worried look. "Why?"

But his lips trembled with no power to answer. Keep looking at the stage with tears in their eyes.

That person .... The man standing on the stage ....

***

Tama

He asked Pocut not to be awkward. Either way, they're getting married soon. But Pocut did not respond. And he was surprised not a bitch when he saw Pocut was crying while staring at the stage.

"What's wrong?" Ask worried.

And he got more confused when Pocut suddenly stood up and left the table just like that.

"Pout?"

He followed Pocut who was half-running near the stage.

"Did you?" Call Pocut to the man who just got off the stage.

What the fuck?

"Did you?" Repeating the Pocut with a vibrating sound.

"Hey." he grabbed Pocut's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

But the black-clothed man looked over. "Can anyone help?"

***

Pocktail

That guy's. That sound.

He bit his lips to hold the stuffing. Rushing up and scattering towards the stage as soon as the song finished being sung.

But he nodded as the man looked.

"Do you want to request a song?"

He closed his mouth with both hands and took a step back. Until his back hit someone's chest. "M-sorry."

The man ... face it .. is much different from ....

He shook. The man was not bang Is. Though from his seat earlier clearly seen if the figure of bang Is who was singing on stage while smiling looking at him.

"It seems, my wife's wrong man." A voice and a gentle groan on his shoulder managed to restore his consciousness. "Please continue."

But he still cannot think. Tama leads her back to the table and helps her sit on the couch.

"Drink first." I held out a glass of water.

He sipped water in the glass with trembling hands. Then throw a glance towards the side of the stage. Watching the man who was singing and now talking to someone.

Not bang Is.

Nope.

***

Niar ma'am

He had heard this shocking news grapevine from Iren a few days ago. But consider it a momentary emotion. Didn't think that this afternoon Raka was actually floating it at home.

"I'm sorry." Raka placed the brown envelope on the table.

"Belgium ... Aunty was very sorry and apologized profusely if this matter caused disappointment." He breathed a long breath.

Raka clenched her jaws hard. "Not a disappointment anymore, Auntie. It's treason. And I can at least tolerate a traitor of any kind."

"Belgium ...." He breathed out a heavy breath.

"I've thought carefully." Raka budging. "This is not my place anymore. Mama's pain is the best reminder for me to be closer to her."

He shook. "Is there no other solution? Why take a way out like this?"

Raka seemed to be trying hard to smile. "I will complete the tasks and work until the end of the month. Auntie don't worry. Iren can handle everything."

"It's not a job issue." He shook. "Please forgive Tama for being disappointing. Aunt really hopes you can still hold Persada's taste."

"Please take care of Harti's mba." He looked at Raka expectantly. "You can often go home to Malang. Or mba Harti invited to live in Jakarta. Or me ...."

"That's enough, Auntie." Raka cut her words. "My decision is unanimous. I gave up the position of director of Persada Appetite and moved to Malang."

"Because my work here is done." Raka looked at him flatly. "Me and Shaina want to continue living in a better place, close to mom, in a new atmosphere."

***

Remarks :

Peusijuek.: is a tradition (Aceh) which is interpreted as an expression of gratitude to God

***