Renjana Dusk Kala

Chapter 44. We, the Doubtful Country and Citizens

Jakarta

Pocktail

He again rubbed the surface of the photo that showed the faces of three young men. But his memory drifted back to the saddest day of the past.

The day that Blang Village mourned. Because five people at once killed were shot during a gun contact between GNM fighters and security forces. Two of them are father and bang Risyad.

That day countless times I fainted. While bang Umair behaved like an undead. Silent, cold, stiff.

No one asked him to talk. Everyone is busy with their own business. He who thinks the world has collapsed, because he feels very lost abandoned two role models at once. Can only sit in the corner of the room. Watching people take care of dad's body and bang Risyad with pushy eyes.

"There is no evidence that Teungku Imum and his son were GNM spies. Anyone with a conscience certainly does not justify this heinous shooting. I as a human being deeply grieved and concerned for the family of the deceased" said Mahmud Hasbi, keuchik (village head) of Kampung Blang shortly before the bodies of the father and bang Risyad were dispatched to the cemetery.

In the evening, envoys from Koramil and the police came to their homes. Many who are still weak conditions just stay in the room. Accompanied by Ma bit Istianah and several teachers.

He had the courage to peek out from behind the curtains. Trying to steal hear what the grown men are talking about in the living room. But bang Umair went to hunt him down. Through an eye gesture, bang Umair told him to enter immediately.

And in a small room that served as his bedroom since he was seven years old, he was pensive with his eyes glazed over. Alone without anyone accompanying. Until finally sleeping with a full chest. Because fatigue holds up sobs of sadness.

He exhaled a long breath while turning his gaze towards Sasa. They both have a lot in common. One of them is to have lost the figure of a father at a young age. Only difference, he has a million good memories with dad. Sasa is not. Her daughter was too small to remember the togetherness with bang Is, which was indeed not so long. Until when Tama was present in their lives, Sasa easily fell in love.

The man again, he lamented as he hurriedly stored the photo into a pile. But instead of straight through the map. He just got back another photo. Simple but meaningful photos. His last memories with loved ones.

He swallowed quickly. Trying to smile when rubbing his face and bang Umair in the photo, but failed. Her tears came back without being prevented. The story behind the photo appears again.

Right on the seventh day of the departure of father and bang Risyad. At midnight the door of his house was knocked by someone. For fear it is a lure or even a trap. From GNM guerrillas and soldiers who are sweeping. Bang Umair ordered him to hide under the bed. While many continue to recite the word hauqalah.

"Laa haula walaa quwwata illa billah© ...."

The sound of a lot shaking violently made him hug his knees agitatedly. Although often times witnessed how the army made sweeping against the population, but the reality is far different between what has been seen with its own experience. So gripping at once scary.

He was still hiding his head between his knees, when the hiss of the word hauqalah was no longer heard.

"Soak?"

And a whisper that was greeted by crying a lot made him dare to lift his head. Trying to peek out from the crack of the wooden bed where he was hiding. Faintly seen the shadow of a woman who was hugging tightly nyanyak while crying each other.

He still peeked with a thumping heart. Worrying they are the bad guys for meeting in the middle of the night. But many just call his name. Ask him to come out of hiding.

Between fear and confusion, he slowly began to crawl out. And astonished to find a woman smiling at him, but with tears streaming down.

"MasyaAllah .. aneuk dara (girls) ...." Said the woman many times while hugging her body tightly.

He does not know and does not know who they are. A large tall man, a woman often called Ida, two fat-bodied adult men, and a boy carrying a baby.

Two thick-bodied men stood guard at the door with watchful eyes. While the tall man and woman named Ida tried to persuade many who continued to shed tears. While the boy who was holding the baby, just stood staring at him.

That was the first time he met a look with bang Is.

That night he waited in the room uneasily. Sometimes trying to peek behind the curtain, but did not manage to get any news. Just tipped on the sharp gaze of the boy who was talking to the Umair bang.

He finally fell asleep with a restless feeling. And when the morning dawn reverberated, the guests who came last night were not seen again.

"Soe ureueng nyan (who are they)?" Ask to vent.

Nyanyak stared at the nanar while stroking his head, "Syedara (remote relative) ...."

Since the arrival of guests in the middle of the night, counted twice his house visited by the army. Ask a lot and bring bang Umair out of nowhere. A few days later, Umair went home. With a face and body full of bruises.

This included the arrival of keuchik Mahmud Hasbi and those from the village government. His attitude is much different than when attending a funeral some time ago. There was no smile of hospitality left.

And the more days, the face of the nyanyak increasingly moody. It was like a heavy burden was being thought of. But he did not dare to ask.

So too with the Umair bang. Almost every night I had an opinion. It often ends with a loud cry and apology from the Umair bang. I don't know what he was talking about because he was never invited.

Until one evening, many muttered with eyes glaring, "Ka keumah (prepare) .. geutanyo keuneuk jak (we will go) ...."

With a swift Bang Umair helped him tidy up the clothes he was about to bring.

"Ho taneuk jak (where are we going), brother?" The question does not understand.

"Kon geutanyo (not us). But nyanyak ngon adek loen dear (and my dear sister) ...." Bang Umair smiled at him.

He was increasingly clueless when bang Umair put a number of photos in his bag.

"Adek ba nyo (take this) .. keu (for) mementos ...." Then bang Umair rubbed the top of his head gently while joking.

"Tek teungeut leupah that vanished (do not sleep too soundly) .. enteuk sosah in peu beudoh (later difficult to wake up)." Bang Umair was still smiling.

He did not remember, what day after the Umair bang helped him pack. When she woke him up in the middle of the night. And he again found a large tall man with a woman named Ida waiting in the living room of his house. Not to forget the boy who always gave him a sharp look.

He said when many asked him to go up to the back of the truck that had been filled with oil palm. And along the way, he fell asleep on the shoulder of the Umair bang with a feeling of being filled with question marks.

"Geutanyo nyo ho ta neuk jak dylee (where are we going)?" The whisper when following a white minibus ride.

"Jak jioh (go far)," replied bang Umair who summarized his shoulder while half joking.

The question was only answered when the minibus they were riding entered Langsa terminal. The atmosphere of the most magnificent terminal he had ever seen was very quiet. There were only a few buses parked waiting for passengers. Without passing people who want to travel.

The thick-bodied man who followed their journey since Idi Rayeuk, directed to wait in front of the agent counter of a bus.

"Beu get get beh (keep yourself well)," whispered bang Umair as he was looking around the terminal.

"Pateh mandum pue nyang Nyanyak peugah (follow all nyanyak words). Beu seumateh (can not argue)," continued bang Umair with a serious face.

"Abang hana jak (not coming)?" Ask in a stifled voice. When bang Umair asked him to sit next to the boy who always gave him a sharp look.

Bang Umair smiled calmly, "Abang seutot boycotted (later brother followed)."

He shook his head strongly. Bang Umair should come. What happens if he just goes alone with a lot? Especially with a foreign woman carrying a baby and a boy without a sound.

He doesn't want to go. Not without the Umair bang.

He would leave if the Umair bang came with them.

But his wish was never fulfilled. The conductor has called on all passengers if the bus will leave immediately to Medan.

Bang Umair rubbed his head many times, "Adek remembered beh, beu jeut keu aneuk seumateh (remember, do not argue. Be a good boy)."

"Abang bah hino dylee (Abang here first). Wah Abang hiroe camp father ngon bang Risyad (caring for the tomb of the father and bang Risyad)," the pretext of the Umair bang when he saw his tears began to break.

"Preh Abang hideh beh (wait for Abang there). Seutot's brother was boycotted (later soon to follow)," concluded bang Umair while smiling trying to calm him.

But he could not resist the sorrow because the shadow would lose the Umair bang. He could only bite his lips firmly when he heard the sobs of a lot of heart-wrenching crying. Pay attention to the Umair bang standing in front of the bus agent counter while waving his right hand up high. Then follow the direction of the departure of the bus he was riding. Until the bus drove out of the terminal and the Umair bang slowly turned into a small dot.

He had to bend down to hide the cries on both knees. Wishing it all was just a nightmare that was coming to an end. But he has experienced so many sad things. And hope only happens in dreams never come true. Because all is the painful truth that must be done.

I don't know how long he's been crying by putting his face on both knees. The skirt he wore was even drenched like water. Sticky until both cheeks feel stiff.

When an ash-coloured handkerchief suddenly stretched out towards him.

Slowly he started to lift his face. While holding back dizziness from sitting too long bending over. Looking at the ash-coloured handkerchief still outstretched in front of him with worry.

The boy sitting beside her nodded as he continued to thrust a handkerchief. Not smiling and not saying a word. Bringing up his courage to reach out to reach for the fine cotton cloth. Then unconsciously bit him hard. Re-launching tears that are no less swift than before.

Now the back of his hand hastily shrunk the nose which was also watery. With a quick movement try to arrange the photo sheet into the document map. Then close the folder and put it back in the closet.

The wall clock above the bedroom door. The short needle has been at the number 12. While the needle is long in the number 1. Remembering the past seems to take up a lot of time.

He immediately went to fetch water. Then drown in a long prostration while offering a prayer full of supplication.

O Allah, if this is good for him, his religion, his life. For now or for the future. Please set and ease.

But if this is bad for him, his religion, his life. For now or for the future. Please avoid him.®

The same prayer he prayed almost 15 years ago. When ma bit Ida who has settled in Jakarta, far away come to Muara Bungo to visit nyanyak who are being tested sick. Proposing to her to be a daughter-in-law.

"Neubrie loen wate (give me time), Nyak."

He had indeed lived next door to a thick-browed boy who had now transformed into a handsome young man. They had even been very familiar when he sat on the Junior High. Even though we have to separate the distance. And really broke up when ma bit Ida decided to migrate to Jakarta following in the footsteps of Nyak wa Roslina.

At that time he already had a tendency to accept the betrothed. His feelings have even been adrift on the figure of bang Is.

Much different than today. His heart's tendency is to refuse. Besides because of his love and promise to the late bang Is. That they will regroup together.

Also because Tama just said interested and want to get to know more closely. Not an offer to make him a companion to life as requested bang Is first.

Moreover, coupled with the world where he stands, which is much different from the world belonging to Tama. Social status is so clearly stretched. Including the pedigree of his lineage that was once very attached to a negative stamp. Especially if not as a state defector. Inversely proportional to the honorable position of Tama to be a pengayom.

He really could not imagine what kind of life they would lead. Surely it will take so much understanding, sacrifice, and strong determination to always sail the ocean of life together.

Can he do it?

All this led him to repeat the same prayer. Many times without feeling bored. Until he started to get tired until he finally fell asleep.

***

Remarks :

©. : No power and strength except from God

® :quoted from the meaning of prayer after Istikharah prayer