Renjana Dusk Kala

Chapter 43. Rho Le Ie Mata Meunyo Remembers the Time of Nyan

Rho Le Ie Mata Meunyo Remembers the Time of Nyan

(Tears fall if you remember that time - in Aceh-)

***

Jakarta

Pocktail

All this time, he always tried to ignore the message Tama tried to convey whenever they met with a view. The message he knew meant a lot to both of them, but he intentionally brushed as far away as possible. Merely because it does not want to give a gap that can make the man enter his life.

He also tried hard to deny the long-lost alien waves every time they spoke to each other. Rejecting the fact that his nervousness multiplied many times as Tama approached.

Including putting aside the pleasant feeling that was so similar to when he was with Bang Is. A deep feeling that is almost forgotten because it is covered in gloomy grief.

No, he shook his head. This can't happen. He had to stop before it was too late.

Unknowingly, he exhaled a long breath while looking at Sasa's deep face. His hands slowly began to stretch gently rubbing the cheeks of his youngest daughter. Stroking fine tendrils that decompose lengthwise to cover the pillow.

He took a long breath again. Right now, Sasa was clearly the point of weakness in facing Tama. Sasa who had clearly been stuck in his heart to the man. Sasa is always enthusiastic every time he meets Tama. And Sasa who had pinned their hopes too high on the men they should have stayed away from.

"Yesterday Nara said ... Sasa doesn't have a father." His memory again floated on his chat with Sasa some time ago.

"It's like you have a father, right, Ma?"

He nodded, "Have it, dear. It's a picture of me in Sasa's bedroom sleeping every day."

Sasa shook his head, "Not a photo, Ma. But the real father. Like Nara's father, Chika's father, Zhie's father ...."

He rubbed Sasa's head. The absence of the tomb bang Is makes it a little difficult when having to explain the existence of a father figure to Sasa. There are various ways he took to explain about the bang Is to Sasa. But the next day Sasa asked again and again.

"The real father who likes anterin is the same as invite to school. Who loves new toys. Who likes to walk." Two bright eyeballs belonging to Sasa looked at him expectantly.

While he could only reply to Sasa's gaze with a fervent heart. Confused in choosing the right words so that Sasa could understand their circumstances.

"If Sasa wants something .. can you, Ma?" Sasa still looked at her expectantly.

He smiled broadly, "Come, dong. Sasa wants what? Want to buy toys? Or ... want to go for a walk with Mama .. same Bang Icad, same Bang Umay ...."

Sasa returned his smile with his eyes bulging, "Sasa pep .. has a father."

He laughed.

"That's a handsome om, Ma. Om who loves Sasa a teddy bear the same princess dress." Sasa's eyeballs blinked innocently. And this made his heart melt.

"Om who's been out on TV." Sasa smiled widely then giggled to himself. "Can't Ma be Sasa's father?"

"Mm ... approximately ... how do you do, Ma? Mama know?" Sasa's eyes were increasingly blinking.

But he quickly shook his head and said firmly, "Mama doesn't know. And it's not possible to be Sasa's father."

Sasa immediately pouted, "Why can't you? Do you not like Sasa? Is it because Sasa likes to be ignorant with Bang Umay? Is it because of Sasa ...."

"Sasa!" He tried to warn. "Sasa has a father. Name's Iskandar. Although he's dead, but Is's father is still Sasa's father."

"But Sasa never met Is's father. Sasa forgot what Is's father was. Sasa doesn't remember ...." Sasa started whining. Then a second later turned to his back while sobbing.

"Mama ... why .. maksa ... Sasa ... create ... remember .. same .. dad ... Is ...."

"Sasa .. nope .. can ... remember ... but ... Mama .. maksa ...."

With a full chest, Sasa hugged her from behind. At first Sasa tried to resist, but he was a little pushy. The tiny body of Sasa in the arms.

"Mama's sorry ...." Whisper really. There was no intention to hurt his little daughter.

"Mama won't make Sasa anymore. It's okay if Sasa forgets the same face of Is's father. But Sasa still diligently send prayers for Is's father? Let father's path there be light ...." He said the last sentence with a sore chest and tightness like a pounding rock for tons.

But he could breathe a little relieved as Sasa's sobbing began to subside. A moment later Sasa turned back to look at him, "If Sasa diligently send prayers for Is's father ..what can make a handsome om become Sasa's father?"

Oh my goodness, Sasa. He almost lost his mind in the face of Sasa's excess desire. Mama's true speech the other day. The only way is to face it. Not running away like he did all this time.

A wall clock is placed over the door of the room. The long needle points at the number 6. While the short needle is between the numbers 11 and 12. Almost midnight.

But his feet did not immediately step out of the room to take water wudu. He opened the closet door, then pulled the drawer inside. Grabbing a map in the form of a clear colored bag where it stores various important documents.

After closing the closet door, he sat himself on the bed. Start opening the map cover with a hasty movement.

In it there is the birth certificate of his three children, a marriage book, a savings book, his school diploma, a certificate of the house they occupy, and several photos that have been laminated.

He immediately pulled the photo sheet that was in the lowest pile. Unknowingly his smile immediately escaped as soon as he looked at the photo.

"Abang, see the wedding photo of the father and nyanyak (mother, Acehnese) han (no)? How did it suddenly disappear from the closet drawer?"

Bang Is just smelled a smile, "Try .. find the right first ...."

He immediately rubbed the contents of the closet with a quick movement. The wedding photos of his father and his wife are the only memories he has. If it were to disappear, he would definitely be very sad.

"Nothing!" He was still unpacking the contents of the drawers one by one. "Abang please help car ...."

His words instantly came to a halt as his eyes managed to capture the image of the photo being sought. Quickly, he achieved a photo that looks much different than the last time he remembered it.

"Did you?" He turned his head towards Bang Is who was still smacking a smile without feeling guilty.

Then he looked back at the photo in his hand. The photo that had originally begun to fade because of moldy it had changed like new with brighter colors. Complete with a laminated plastic layer that makes the photo more protected.

"That's Adek cantek's most historic photo. So you take it to the photo studio to repro. All at lam ...."

Bang Is did not continue the sentence because he was hunted down into his arms. Drowning a deep face in Bang Is's chest.

"Teurimong geunaseh (thanks) ...." Whisper with glazed eyes.

He smiled and looked at the wedding photos of his parents. His index finger began to move through the face of the father and nyanyak. While whispering a prayer that may be delivered to the realm of barzakh.

Then he flipped over the photo and rubbed the handwriting of the copy that was printed there.

Kuala Leungou Peureulak.

The wedding of Teungku Imum and Cut Aminah

Closing his eyes, flashes of his memory began to float on the most gripping day that became a dark notch in the course of his life.

The morning, which should have been beautiful as it was her first day of elementary school, suddenly became a disaster when a bomb exploded not far from the school.

Soon a number of soldiers entered the gampong (village). Some are in vehicles, some are on foot. They were chasing the GNM (Free National Movement) guerrillas who had just detonated a bomb. The shootout no doubt sounded ear-splitting.

Zamzami's teacher immediately gathered them, first-class children to the official house. Almost all the children were crying in fear. Including her who always looks towards the window. Hope Bang Risyad or Bang Umair come pick up. As ordered before they left for school this morning.

Zamzami's teacher tried to calm them down at all costs. Ask them to sit on the floor and close both ears tightly. But even so, the loud sound of a gunfight could still be heard. As if it could pierce through the ears even though they had closed them tightly.

"Ka leuh pajoh bu (already eat rice)?" Zamzami's teacher tried to distract them by removing the bushel with food.

A number of his friends, crying, raised their hands high. But he's flinching. Besides having breakfast at home before leaving school. He is also still concentrating on paying attention to the door of the official house. Hoping that bang Risyad or bang Umair inundated come to him.

Zamzami's teacher asked them to sit in a group. Boys with boys. Then girls with girls.

Then start giving breakfast to all of them. Using blank book paper as a base. They are welcome to eat by hand. Chewing in silence but accompanied by the sound of a series of shots that are increasingly deafening.

He who has no appetite is only dumbstruck in front of his rice and side dishes. When the sound of screaming, abuse and abuse is heard getting closer to the official house. Following the call of the teacher from another class, who told me that the house near their school had been burned down.

He who was still dumbstruck stared at the door of the official house was blown away when teacher Zamzami asked them to line up. Then along with the teacher and the other grade children, they were directed to run and hide to the hill in front of the school.

During the run he tried to find the figure of Umair bang who one school with him. But it didn't find. Until he and his classmates arrived at the top of the hill. Hide and lay behind a rock. Afraid that someone might find them.

Zamzami's teacher asked them to pray, saying sholawat while closing their ears and eyes tightly. But he who is still trying to find the whereabouts of Umair bang does not heed the orders of teacher Zamzami. Keep your eyes wide looking to and fro. It makes him see in the distance. Where the gripping atmosphere unravels before the eyes.

The head of his little boy recorded images of houses being burned. A barrage of gunfire from the gun barrel. People fall down with blood. Also screams of pain and fear of the citizens whose homes were burned.

But he did not cry at all to see all the gripping events. His head was filled with fear because he was worried about the existence of the father, nyanyak, bang Risyad, also bang Umair.

He cried when he remembered Dad. The one with his leg limp next door because he said he was hit by a bomb when he was a baby. Because he knew that when he left for school this morning, he also went to the field to harvest.

Now he lifted his eyes from the writing behind the photo. Then looked at the reflection of the face from the blurry mirror before him. But even though it was blurry, tears were clearly seen dripping down her cheeks.

He also hurriedly shrank the circle that had fallen. Then look back at the second photo. Where he was a toddler sitting three flanked by a Risyad bang also Umair bang.

Just like before, he flipped over the photo. Until he saw his handwriting on the back of the photo.

Abdullah Risyad, 28 October 198x

Abdurrahman Umair, 17 August 198x

Pocut Halimatussadiah, June 1, 198x

He breathed a long breath. Remembering the day he was with friends and teacher Zamzami's mother had to hide on a hill until the soldiers managed to find them. Then bring them back to the school that has been destroyed in a mess.

A number of parents had been waiting for their arrival in the schoolyard with anxious faces. And he immediately ran over when he saw the Risyad bang standing in confusion like he was looking for someone in the crowd.

"Dragon!"

Bang Risyad immediately smiled widely welcoming him.

"Dad?" It was the first question he could not wait to ask.

Bang Risyad nodded, "In rumoh (home)."

"Mumair?"

Bang Risyad nodded.

That evening, he returned home carried by a Risyad bang. Along the way, he leaned his head against his eldest brother's back. Feeling very calm and calm after experiencing the scariest thing on the first day of school.

He closed both eyes while taking a deep breath. Then blow it slowly. Remembering everything about the past, always made his heart filled with a prolonged sense of sadness.

He even had to gulp when he returned the second photo sheet, then grabbed the following sheet. Without seeing the faces depicted in the photo first, he immediately turned the back sheet that wrote the names in the photo.

Teungku Imum, Teuku Hamzah Ishak, Setyo Yuwono.

He gulped again when he finally saw the photo. It shows three men standing in front of a man. Each one smiled broadly at the camera. As if there were no burden.

He had to swallow either for how many times. When paying attention to the face of the man standing right to the left of his late father-in-law. The facial lines of the young man wearing the brown uniform looked so similar to the man who had been making his heart uneasy lately.

His index finger stretched out to rub the face of the father who was smiling widely. Then switch to the face of his father-in-law. Lastly, the face of the man who was in contact made his eyes closed.

But his memory actually floated at a time where he was helping a lot in the field. Two grown men suddenly approached them. Say hello to nyanyak then tell something that makes nyanyak longlai and fall. Until he had to break it back home.

Once in the courtyard of their house there were already many people gathered. Including the Umair bang whose face was flushed like crying.

He then followed a lot of falling on the floor when he found two body figures at once had been stretched stiff in the living room.

He didn't even cry. Can only sit pensively under the feet of father and bang Risyad, whose body is only covered in yellow batik cloth and has not been forgiven. Even the blood from his father's gunshot wound and Risyad's bang still seeped soaked the batik cloth.

At that time, she was just a helpless 12-year-old girl. Can only be silent with tears glittering when they hear people telling how Risyad's father and bang were shot along with three other residents because they were considered part of GNM.

He wanted to shout as loud as possible so that the whole world would know, "My father ... Teungku Imum .. is just a salary teacher and a worker in the field."

"And my brother ... Abdullah Risyad. Who aspire to go to college but hit the cost. To be content with just helping their father work in the fields."

"Father and brother are not criminals or rebels."

"They're the best father and brother."

But of course he couldn't scream like that. He can only be touched with eyes. Wishing everything was just a nightmare and he could soon wake up from the most terrifying deep sleep.

But his wish was never fulfilled. Because everything that happened was a harsh reality that he had to accept.

***

Remarks :

Stories are summarized from various sources. Among them are articles published by tempo.co edition of July 30, 2003, jrs.co.id edition of February 5, 2010 and various news footage.