Recycling

The Eleventh Network

Raindrops began to fall washing away the layers of soil. Under this tower that was even taller with green scenery, this was different to where I was before and I just wanted to connect what I wanted to connect with. The clock's needle was beating clearly I heard in both earholes, between the stillness of life and this was the deepest silence I had ever felt. Natural wind whirring captured ear soothing.

This TimeTravel made me arrive in ancient times to my own fantasy realm. At the same time, I have always missed Wapta and some of the people who used to be in my life.

I'm not very good at writing poetry how I can express it in verse to temple. I work as a weakling, just longing. Even without saying everything, harboring him for the umpteenth as a strange man who is not brave and strange very strange as if I continue to run from my own life problems. This weakest, weakest state of affairs without being able to look ahead.

Wapta really doesn't know about any of this, about everything I hold, I could just hide it from the past.

That doesn't mean much in terms I shouldn't. Wept in a silence that I cannot explain.

“Narak.”

Lita Aksima momentarily awakened my daydream and I could not speak could only choose to be silent, staring blankly.

“Today I have been watching you a lot and now you have changed a lot, Narak. You used to be so excited about your day, I even thought nothing could beat your spirit.”

“You remember when you told me that under the waterfall. You dare greet me with no matter what my reaction is.”

Lita Aksima talks a lot to remind back that moment is actually just fiction. And at that time I was wearing a friendly mask that was not really me, I had a lot of masks here right, left, middle and back. And on the bottom of all that I could use, that was my first inspiration for making a cowboy novel with a hypocritical character and that was very clear from my actions.

“You know it's just fiction,” I replied.

Keep bright with everything, without looking at the face of Lita Aksima. My heart is not doing well now, considering many painful things.

It was not painful to others, just a glimpse of the most strange regret in my memory and heart that I could never forget a Wapta. The only woman I love.

And that's the figure of the man who became a criminal who ran away from reality, and maybe Wapta was the victim of a man who now disappeared just like that, without explanation and regardless of his whereabouts first.

I've never been heartbroken to remember everything, just to mention that I've been holding my feelings wrong.

I just remembered about this, about Lita Aksima not liking apologies without any change in the person who previously apologized.

I wonder how I said it, apologized again. My own reflex, without my will.

I felt guilty the previous time I said an apology and the sentence came out without me noticing. Even I know this is just a piece in my memory, has long faded and drowned and even forgot as if to disappear.

A person like me who used to dislike advice slowly knows that it doesn't mean much. I realize and really need a lot of repetition of advice for advice so that this self can strengthen, continue to improve, be good from mistake by mistake.

In just a few days, a few weeks the advice disappeared from my head when I didn't hear it anymore, often I asked if there was a cure for all this, from all that I had?

Or I'm the only one who's been accusing the advice of nonsense, as it feels like I'm a piece of trash who doesn't understand what this world is all about, even often insist on rejecting the explanation of many things and in different senses with the same intention.

That's their advice from what I know they just want to give me some encouragement, one after the other.

“You know that's a fictional story I wrote, Lita Aksima. All of that doesn't mean much.” I replied with a soft voice looking at him.

“Yes, I know—it's true. And. although all that to you is fiction, the one thing I want to emphasize is that you can't use poetry just to deceive, even to lie about your feelings and the feelings of others. That day do you remember, you told me yourself that you loved me? Then, after all, the fact that I now find different, you even love Wapta and call it before me like without sin, you seem to not appreciate me as the person in front of you.”

This time, Lita Aksima actually managed to slap me with a glance. How I used to express my feelings to her. Yeah, it almost made me gulp bitterly about my own words and ask if I'd been soiling poetry.

Lita Aksima nodded. “Yes, to me you have dirty poetry with the phrase that you know for yourself that your feelings did not love me. That day you said you loved me and seduced me with your poem. Isn't that a lie that you deliberately wrapped up in such a neat way with beautiful sentences that you have and that's why I say you've defiled poetry with lies that you disguised for the sake of that's it...”

“... You just want to show off to people that you managed to make a woman melt with your poem rhyme. That's really disgusting!”

Lita Aksima looked at me like an angry person. I exhaled a slow breath looking at him, how disgusting was the sentence that he meant? Is it possible that Wapta is the same as him? Feeling disgusted and feeling it is a lie.

“Come, Lita Aksima. For now I can only apologize to you again and if you're angry with me. It was a risk to myself for having dared to break one after another and I often did something you didn't like.”

I explained it to him again. Apologizing even how many times has been counted, maybe he forgave me and did not accept everything much.

The angry look I had seen before had now changed from the look on his face. Little laugh and mock me baper thought I liked it, it became a laughingstock Lita Aksima laughed at me.

I can't deny all that. As for that possibility, he never told me about liking it and now laughs I heard from him after knowing I was wrong in thinking, I think he likes me, I think he likes me, it turns out he never answered.

It did feel like a bolt of lightning under the hot sun, there was no rain I could feel the cold, thunder and heat dominating.

A word-bender among hundreds of broken arrows could now only gulp bitterly over the sentence he had written. Whoishe? I'm the one I'm talking about. Not who who who.

For a long time I had the thought that no one would like me, whether it was Wapta or anything else. That's why I'd rather hold this feeling for myself.

Slow down, softly. Lita Aksima lost her laughter for a moment and the conversation continued from one topic to another. My eyes are busy paying attention to the environment and really not much listening, sometimes only mangut mangut, he had many topics and things introduced from plant names to animal names that I clearly knew he was a nature lover. Or maybe just a stale base that is already stale. That's a cow, right there. Yeah, I know it's a cow, no need to mention it.

Walk the road like this. This morning is something I have always liked. That's also my reply at length to explain about everyday for the sake of everyday life that I went through myself. It tells Lita Aksima with various expressions that make her successful in laughing.

I felt a different atmosphere when he again touched on Wapta, the longing I experienced. And lastly he touched on my failure to publish the manuscript I had written. It doesn't affect much what, but I know very well what's good, what's bad.

I'd rather be quiet than get dragged into the abyss of his conversation. As someone who has been the end of the bodo attitude is very and does not care much.

“You know this place is not much different than before. We know equally well what makes you remember the past, the past is past, Narak. How much you remember it even often dwells more tired, all that lies only in expectations that are no more about the number of numbers in your mind.” Lita Aksima said slowly looking at me.

At that time I could only be silent listening to the reverence, swallowing nervous saliva like a stream that continued to flow quietly and the air that was not visible there would be the form of the nose shaft hit my hair strands. Lita Aksima kept talking and we continued towards the magnificent palace there, I could not feel anything, it was the same, like my life full of empty knowledge without based on a brilliant mindset, without any lessons I can learn and reflect further on this.

My head was like an empty barrel, it sounded loud, without being able to think much about any of this.

Lita Aksima, I want to talk to you more, but I'd better keep it quiet. You don't know about me, do you? You're just talking to the degree you want. According to your mindset, guessing about me.

“We're talking about the failure you just experienced, Narak. There is nothing for you to regret and cry about when the failure is upon you, a time when the world is cramped and you feel stifled by dozens of arrows descending from the sky. Just so you remember some things that happened in a condition able to be patient and grateful.”

“You need to know, humans were created with a variety of races from one tribe to another, in groups with other groups. With a variety of nations, cultures, and various languages that actually all have one wisdom, which is for among us to get to know each other, appreciate and love from that attitude, he said, you should know, Narak. Regarding the problems of life that befall you and for you are complicated, that is actually the reason. The world is continuous between day and night, between buyers and sellers. And that's a little I can tell you about everything so you can understand a little about this life that if you can be patient and grateful, you'll be lucky.”

“And you can think about it, then take it freely that everyone has different abilities, not the same. There are among those who master certain sciences and cannot master other sciences and among them there are also become builders, experts in the field of building construction. And the man who mastered the science could not build a house, we can ask for his help. There are people who can swim and there are also those who cannot, life is actually in need of each other. Some of them are good at archery and some are good at cooking. That way I hope you know that not all people are destined to the same destiny in terms of their abilities, in terms of their efforts. There are those who can only be listeners and can not convey, even though they actually know a science, but little in their minds can convey it to others. Both through writing and speech.”

“Some human groups are divided into many types. Some kind of work, some kind of ability and others. Allness is for one thing so that the world continues to be continuous between one and another, at this time you do not need to believe but my advice think about how best so that you do not complain and dissolve in sadness.”

“Among these lives we need each other and that you cannot deny until between it creates a communication and unites each other, helps each other.”

“Sometimes if you want to think about it further, that's how this real life between one and the other is continuous. Between the wind and the waves you see and feel, between the rain and the heat to something else you can think of yourself. Think more so that you know the nature of life and of course each of us has different thoughts and you will know when you reflect on yourself and then hold the principles of your life and never let go he's in your life. Indeed this life is to seek identity and fix it continuously by doing good. If you feel wrong, hurry up to fix yourself again until at some time someone can smile loosely in his life, there is no more sorrow because he ended with all the sadness. He already understood this life, even though thousands of problems perched in his life. He will always be patient and able to be grateful for everything.”

At length at that time he said it to me, even at that time it felt like I was tired of listening.

Wanting to close both ear holes, although I admit it all this time I was just a bunch of thorns in between the tree which itself had been slapped and broken, during its own time there was a lot of sadness, during its own time, many also heard about all that about the words and explanations for why one can live and get trials, about how many events and smiles people mention this and that, and that, passed by just discussing various problems and other things that made me pensive for a long time, alone biting my fingers.

How could my life at that time have gone so well, fine and various other things that somehow until now all of that is still often found feelings that feel this like an event that is formed into a verse about self-worth in each the breath and footsteps I wanted to choose. In all that I have done in taking the time I feel is going fast.

That was also the end of my encounter with a woman named Lita Aksima. I deeply regretted my own conduct of not being able to take his advice and however many words of apology I have spoken. All of that doesn't mean much anymore, though, the sentence seemed to have turned into a dry sentence korantang and I have often said until it all means little more when the fault for the fault is berbubi I do. This is the sadness I experience.

The moment in which the kalimaf sorry turns stale in the ears of the person who hears it.

I wrote a note of sadness at the time titled, Lita Aksima and for the missing sheet. A figure like him is indeed antique and I have been wrong.

I'm sorry to insist, I still feel like I can't get anything that means a lot in between.

Who doesn't like me? Almost, in a matter of many, even my own friends sometimes mention sentences that show they don't like me and hate some of the attitudes and traits I have, more, more than that I thought I was just a pile of wood.

Then it disappeared in the flood. Between the swift currents of the river and the estuary that constantly carried it, the pile of wood was resigned to have no strength to resist, carried by the river current and he drowned it to the bottom.

It was at the bottom that the pile of wood ended up buried, slowly but surely without anyone knowing where it was lost.