Recycling

Coma Point

I felt I could not deny this, a feeling that seemed to come over without me thinking further in a narrow sense. Sentences to sentences in my mind and mind engrave paintings. In large quantities.

Colorful life that I've been staring at peace. The silence, the breeze of the day now brought me back into memory.

Memories of the past. Memory that has long been wasted in the dimness of vision. The wind sounded, desolate. It was as if there was no one near me.

I narrowly think in solving things that are difficult for me and in the shortest time I can, want to continue it feels to be able to try so that the self that has only been able to insist can deal with all the feelings that come and go.

Between summer and rain. Both of them to me are the weather that makes me difficult to adapt.

Be patient? Yes, I've been patient through the day, smiling. Strive hard to continue to be able to step in the umpteenth time the feeling that has been there.

Grandfather had prayed to me, even giving his advice on patience so that I could continue to be patient. That was before the reason why I said with the word surely then at the end called Insha Allah.

Because it is not always the self who has written many articles about heartbreak is able to treat his own heartbreak. Ever since writing that day on a blog, it feels like I'm the one who can't do anything. What I wrote was simple tips on heartbreak.

I never thought that sentence that day that I wrote on my personal blog was like a boomerang that I threw flying in the air, then came back to my face.

I also write fiction without the slightest color I can see it all. This is what amazes me so much and it feels like more than knowledge without a brilliant mindset.

In this world I don't know many people. What is this life really? That's the short question I've written.

All this time I realized I was just breathing. Eat a drink and sleep and do not feel passed from time to time. Now the mixed feelings in my mind say all sorts of things.

The rain that falls with its speck. One drop, two, three. Until the umpteenth time slowly drips.

People say slowly but surely. That's what people say and what I experience is very much different. It was a kingdom without a king. Worrying, fretting. It might be easy to destroy.

And in loving Wapta. I never thought what Wapta thought of me. Even apologizing will not make amends. If I were to be him what would I feel?

I can't imagine it. Only able to hope. Praying here too. Looking up at the sky, may this miss be only me who feels it. Especially in the face of this matter, one breath of mine blows it feels like there is a feeling that ends at a point.

Commas. Dots and commas. Somehow explain further. I'm not very good at describing things, but this self always tries to always be able to.

Just now that it happened, grandfather reminded me of one thing more important than just remembering love.

Studying? Yes, it is said to be more important than remembering love. If you want to know the thick-bile book that I have been reading repeatedly. I refused to mention it or explain it, neither did grandfather know about it. Every night before going to bed. Wake up early every day and every day. All the same.

I spent a lot of days reading books with a lot of weight. Not busy thinking about Wapta who is actually nobody. Only the woman I love, I miss.

In reality. She's a nobody, just the woman I'm looking at either I'll have it or not. My insolence seemed to hinder the self that had been firmly believing. Missed him always.

My insolence extends to all corners of the heart. Forming things about fear that it is difficult for me to express my feelings to him. Strange difficulties, even this is like giving a strange moment in the feelings and journey of life that I went through.

Pardon me! I'm mistaken. It's always wrong in this case, when the feeling I've had all this time is there and I can't express.

Excuse me. Again, again and again sorry.

About longing who can't meet at common ground. About a heart I can't reveal. And lastly, the feeling I felt I could not swallow how bitter the old pain was, too long from day to day.

I tried to forget the chaotic thoughts, laughing at Grandpa with a mind that floated again somewhere? Often why make me daydream.

“Man, grandpa has a solution than you're having trouble moving on. Better for you come with grandpa fishing.” Grandpa whispers.

I asked myself. What exactly is whispering? Obviously, Grandma will not understand Indonesian, grandmother who can only speak thai. Or maybe grandpa intentionally?

I nodded back. “Alright, when?”

“Next year.”

Grandpa was as serious as he was, his face did not seem to be joking. Next year it was still a long time, back then I was shadowing, smiling a little.

“Haduuh—ya, now, dong. Man, how are you?” Talk grandpa raiding out, profusely.

Like rain water. Maybe my proverbs are wrong, maybe also like spilled noodles and I admit to being successful enough to surprise me.

“Eh? Now then? Now I want to go to college, Kek.” I answered enthusiastically.

I saw grandpa patting the jidat. I may not believe my words. This lecture has entered the second semester, this is my understanding that likes shallow. Ask something that even sometimes makes the lecturer shake his head.

Grandpa's different. He's a pretty patient guy, a little offensive. A young man just like me was drying his clothes on the second floor. The window in the dining room had a view.

Grandfather pointed. “Look at that neighbor boy next to us. He doesn't go to college like you, man. But his brain is smart. It does not take long loadingnya, not even always fixated on one woman that makes you can be upset for hours.”

That's the hard way. Right now, I have an argument too. “Grandfather knows what the current definition is?” tanyaku sharp.

Of course, my face looks like a joke. Grandpa laughed too. Shut up from the answer.

I am the one who came forward to answer him with a steady voice. “Now that can be understood is the current period which means that if now I come with grandfather fishing, it means I have to skip. Hmm, it seems more or less so, Cake?”

Like ascertaining. Grandpa walked for a while. His hands are folded backwards. While looking at me, nodding.

“Yaps, you're not wrong, Man. This time is the first point that means you do not listen to the second point that grandfather has said before.”

“Poin second?” i said wonder.

“Have you forgotten, Man? All right, you don't have to answer. Here grandfather will say it once more. Later, that's the second point after the word now.”

A little bit not wanting to ask much, I quietly listened. I'm sure Grandpa has a long explanation for all that.

Although he did not mention the point before. Only now, I feel like I don't want to extend, the mangut-mangut listen.

“Look at those two points, Man—now and later. Combine the two together to become a whole sentence. Now you're off to college, man. Later when you come home from college, you can go fishing with grandpa on the river. It's an exciting activity that can foster a sense of patience in someone, hopefully with fishing activities that can make you forget about the woman who is currently continuing to ring in your head.”

Grandpa was not tired of saying it again, again and again. I get it, I don't want to talk much, actually it's not complicated for me. I think it seems like Grandpa wants to make it complicated.

My previous question—when? And now, I remember when grandfather said it later? When later? I should have asked that. And all that has been answered already which he said later after returning to college.

I thought about it and met. Thankfully, I was not prejudiced, it seems that in this case I was the one who was wrong for asking incompletely. Just mention—when?

That's the word I asked Grandpa. I didn't think it could lead to an understanding I hadn't imagined before.

Today. Grandfather knows I've always loved Wapta, the woman I've always longed for is like the sunshine that shines on planet earth. The figure of the woman will continue to be in the room of the heart without the slightest sense of attachment to others.

This is the feeling point. And the heart condition of all love other than himself. Commas. It was like I was completely unconscious. Lying staring at the bulb. He can only look and remember about himself. I don't know when? See you back with him? Might as well.

I hope someday I can tell this feeling to her and be reunited forever.