Rainbow Cloud

Chapter 14's

It was the most beautiful and happy day I have ever had. Even more beautiful than the rainbow clouds I saw a few days ago. At least for my heart, the time I spent with him felt much more special. It feels much more magical.

I miss spending time with him alone. Peaceful. Happinessful. But as I recall we never had that kind of time.

After the beach, we walked home. The most notable difference that exists between Kak Andre and the man is their attitude towards children. When I saw some kids playing on the beach, the man took me away. He wasn't too comfortable facing the kids and I accepted that.

Nothing is perfect. I've understood that no one is perfect, including Brother Andre. I don't expect that guy to be perfect. I even called him a demon. I know he's far from perfect.

But it doesn't make it easier to forget. Or rather, that's what makes it hard for me to forget.

He took me for a walk and kept walking. I don't really look at where we are. I focused on talking to him. I wanted to know her better because she seemed to know me better than I imagined. I decided it was my turn to get to know him.

I didn't even realize we were just walking around in circles. I don't care about it. I enjoyed every second with him.

“Oh yes, since when do you like me?” i wonder. If she said that she was in love at first sight with me, I was sure I would hug her tightly.

“Emm, I also didn't initially know I liked you. As you started to get close to Brother Andre, I long realized that I was jealous. And as I look back, I started watching you from that day on the library.”

“Library?”

I remember going to the library often. Usually I wait for school hours to go to the library because the atmosphere is quieter. I used to wait for Imel to go home from school together because at that time our house was in the same complex.

If he has no extracurricular activities, he spends time playing in the music room. That's why I used to wait for him in the library.

“Iya. I accidentally saw you fall asleep at the library table. I remember you were my classmate but back then we hadn't interacted too much. At that time I could not leave you alone and I sat in the chair in front of you. Hmmm, I don't want anyone to bother you.”

I feel really ashamed to hear the story. He saw me while sleeping? Even Brother Andre never saw me sleep. I never slept in front of him. And I'm upset that he didn't ask me for permission. He had no right to see me asleep.

And, don't you think he's that brash? I'm female. She's male. That's really disrespectful.

But I'm not really mad. It was a long time ago and I don't even remember it. I feel more embarrassed than angry. I can only hope that I still look beautiful while sleeping in front of her.

“So, you watched me sleep?”

He's misbehaving. He also knows what is wrong with his story. “Sorry. But at that time I just moved. I can't turn my eyes away from you. And what I remember next, I also fell asleep and when I woke up, you were home.”

Never mind. I decided not to dispute that. That was a long time ago. Being ashamed is useless. So I just teased him back.

“So you think I'm beautiful until you can't turn your eyes away?” I half expected him to say the answer I wanted.

“Yes, you are the most beautiful woman for me,” she replied steadily as if she knew how to make me happy.

If I don't know yet how the weapon eats master himself, then I finally understand. My question that wanted to tease him made my heart beat erratically.

Okay, that day I actually admitted I had a dead love for her. My heart has chosen it and it is my turn to choose it. My whole soul chose it.

Although I feel guilty for Brother Andre, I can only thank him. Maybe his love for me is bigger. Maybe he will always be by my side and help me. But my heart didn't choose him and I didn't want to take more of his time and my time to be stubborn in our love. The best option is to let it go and pray that we find our true love.

“Gis,” he calls me soft. “If one day you have to choose between me or Brother Andre, who will you choose?”

I didn't expect him to ask that right away when I finally made up my mind. As I recall they said they would give me as much time as I needed.

Even though I have decided, I am still afraid to say it. I was afraid that he would doubt my feelings for changing too fast.

“Why are you in a hurry? Can't we enjoy this kind of time? We just stopped being enemies.”

“Sure. But I just want to know. If you could only choose one person to continue to be in your life, who would you choose?” he didn't give up.

We both stopped and looked at each other. I know he's serious and it scares me. I'm afraid it has something to do with the secret they're hiding. I don't know why my feelings say it's so closely related.

“If you choose just one person, I will explain everything to you.. If we both drown and you can only save one person between us, who will you choose?”

I was really scared and getting scared. I don't want to hear the end of this conversation. My instincts screamed that I better not know.

Then I also went away. But the man clasped my hand firmly and I couldn't let go. He made me look into his eyes and again I felt like crying.

“Please, Gis. Answer my question. If only one person you can save, who will you save?”

“I don't want to choose!” I rebelled but he was much stronger than me.

He held my body stronger in his arms while I thrashed stronger. He kept forcing me to answer. To choose between them. I kept resisting until I finally mentioned my choice, “You. I chose you. I love you.”

I honestly still don't want to choose. I don't understand why he's the one I mentioned. I know I love him, but I'm not going to sacrifice Brother Andre. I really don't want to choose. I can't choose. Whatever situation.

I think it's just a playful question like the ones couples usually ask. But in my little heart, I'm sure it's more than that. And after seeing his face, I could only cry. I saw her smile but I could also see sadness in her eyes. My answer should have made her happy but I was wrong. I was always wrong about him.

“Why are you forcing me to choose?” I was still banging on his chest and he let me.

“Sorry. This is the thing I least want. But thank you for choosing me. No matter it's honest or not, it really makes me feel like the luckiest man in the world.”

He held me with one hand while the other hand was busy wiping away my tears. “And I still owe you one explanation.”

As I began to calm down, he invited me to sit on the sizable rocks by the roadside while he knelt before me. A situation that should be romantic but I was too gripped by fear to enjoy it.

“I didn't know how this all happened either. When Brother Andre came and said he wanted to find you, I couldn't be quiet anymore. So I decided to come look for you. I said I'd compete honestly this time. I will tell you how I feel about you and whoever you choose, I will accept it. I know my chances are small but I don't want to regret.”

He explained their meeting and how they decided to meet me. I expected it all but I just kept quiet and listened.

“So we booked the same flight and that day we went to the airport together. I asked my friend to take us both. But..” He fell silent and looked at me. Choose your next words carefully. “We had an accident.”

That one word made my whole body grow. I wanted to stop him but no sound came out. I can't move.

“The next second, I found myself and Brother Andre on this island. The island we both didn't recognize. We remember everything until the moment of the accident. We knew we had the accident and thought this was heaven or something.”

The man forced himself to laugh but it was not comforting at all.

“Until we see you. We feel it's a miracle. Seeing you again is a miracle. You know what happens next, but you don't know what we know. Me and Brother Andre both know this miracle only temporarily. We will disappear and not know what our fate will be. Therefore, we decided to give you the best.”

My tears started to fall again. I wanted to scream for someone to say it was all a dream and I didn't hear what I just heard. But my throat was too dry to speak. I could just sit and listen.

“I decided to support you with Brother Andre. I let you both enjoy the rest of the time. If this is the rest of the time you have with both of us, I would give it to Brother Andre. I owe you that. I gave up on making you fall in love with me because I didn't want to throw you into a dilemma and force you to choose between the two of us for the rest of the day.

“I didn't expect Brother Andre to want to teach you how to forget about it and not immediately express his feelings for you. He may want you to be able to move on with your life if he is no longer in this world. But we both didn't expect you'd fall in love with me. It makes things even more complicated because we know we don't have enough time.”

After he did not continue his explanation. I still force myself not to hear what he just said. If there was a medicine to forget what I just heard, I would take it without a second thought.

“Now you know the truth. So you have to be ready to accept whatever happens and move on with your life. I'm happy you love me and for the rest of my life, you're the only woman who has my heart. Always you,” he clasped my hand stronger.

I don't know where the power comes from inside me. Without much thought my right hand had already floated up and slapped his cheek.

“You think I'll trust you?! I know this is one of your tricks again! I won't believe you!” I don't want to say bad things but my mouth, which I couldn't make, now I can't stop.

He just heard me and let my hand beat him. After I stopped, he didn't say a word and I decided to run home. I need time to digest everything he says. I also need time to stop thinking about it.

I just need time to cry.