Not my fault

Funeral

On top of my mother's belly button I cried.

On top of my mother's belly button I screamed out my pain.

Lordy!

Whatisthis?

What pierced my heart.

Whatisthis?

What is popping my head.

Please take my life, God.

I cannot live my life without my mother beside me.

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Evelyn pov

I was not aware of what had happened, as I fell silent when I heard the news about my mother.

I don't even know how I got here, which I know for sure was Arlan who brought me here.

In front of me was the doctor who handled my mother's surgery, displaying a facial expression that really made me feel bad for a moment.

"I'm sorry we did our best, but Mirna's mother's life can't be helped anymore. The collision in the head, made Mirna's mother lose a lot of blood. Again forgive us."

As soon as my world was destroyed, my world seemed to be spinning.

What is this, is my hearing problematic.

I'm plagued with these outrageous lies.

Until I felt a warm embrace from someone, who whispered the word tranquilizer, but not powerful enough for me.

I even flapped his chest to vent my current mixed feelings.

Mother.

Instantly I let go of her embrace, ran towards the operating room door and opened it with a strong push.

Brakhs!

In front of me right now was a bed with the body of a woman I knew so well.

Mother.

How could God do this to me.

What wrong?

"Mom's awake!"

I called him repeatedly, but my mother didn't answer.

No this is impossible.

"Mother, I beg you!"

My mother was silent.

I saw how my mother's lips and face were pale, no more smiles were covered by my mother's lips.

I saw the scar and the red remains on my mother's head.

No ... It's lies.

"Mother!"

I screamed so badly, roaring with lips saying mother's word but for free.

My mother didn't wake up at all.

I shook my mother's cold body, the body I used to hug and provide warmth for me, was now cold and stiff.

"No mother, no way!"

Blam it!

I don't care about this sound and that, other than my mother who still doesn't answer me.

Hicks! Hicks! Hicks!

"Mother please wake up, Mother-mother

Brak!

"Lynn!"

This is the voice of my best friend, I immediately turned to the door and saw him who immediately ran towards me and hugged me tightly.

Grep's!

I took a hug back from him, because I needed him to help me wake up.

I took off my arms and looked at her with tears.

"Riki, mom!"

"Gst ... Don't be like Evelyn, I won't calm down."

As soon as I looked at Riki disappointed, how could he say that.

"No Riki, help me wake up mom. Riki I beg you," I said to deny the truth.

"Lyn."

Riki brought me another hug, made me cry again and again.

I can't stand it.

I don't want to accept this.

No, my mom's alive.

Even today we have an appointment to have dinner together.

My mother is not a person who likes to break promises.

So how could you just leave.

Nah!

I was still in my best friend's arms, when I heard Arlan calling Riki's name quietly.

"Rik,"

"Lyn, man,"

"Lyn, can we take care of the funeral preparations?"

I took off his arm and looked at him in disbelief.

"What does Riki mean? My mother is not dead, my mother is on break. How can you prepare a funeral, if my mother is alive and asleep."

They both fell silent, making me angry with me who immediately approached my mother and again opened the white cloth that covered my mother's face.

"Mother ... Riki and Arlan are evil with mom, they want to separate us. Mother what should I do, hiks! Tell them mom, if mom's still alive and is here."

"Lyn."

I've taken calls from both of them, I know, so you don't have to remind me.

"Lyn, you can't do this, let mommy

"Enough! You're bad, you want to separate me and mom? Then bury me with mom! Bury me Riki! Bury me Arlan! The tomb!"

I interrupted the words of the two men before me. Telling me about me choosing to be buried with my mother's body, compared to living a kara.

"Evelyn you must calm down!"

Again they talk like that.

How can I be calm, if the one who always keeps me calm is not in the world anymore.

"No! Ib

I don't know why, obviously my head was dizzy then all darkened, and the last I heard was the panicked exclamation of Riki and Arlan, with me falling unconscious.

Brugh!

"Lynn!"

Skips

Not knowing how long I had fainted, the first thing I saw from my wake was a ceiling with about shades of white.

I saw not only Riki and Arlan present, but Riyanti sitting beside me, while the two men stood around me.

Uhh!

I grimaced while holding my forehead, which was still throbbing pain.

"Lyn, are you okay?" ask my best friend Riki with a clear worried tone.

I did not answer but remained silent, staring blankly straight ahead.

"Lyn."

This time I turned my head as the back of my hand was touched gently, by Riyanti who looked at me sadly.

I just kept quiet, wanting to hear what kind of condolences I would receive from the woman in front of me.

"Lyn, I know you must be sad. But allow Riki and Arlan, to do the funeral procession. Are you not kasian, if your mother is not immediately rested according to her nature."

The deg!

My heart skipped a beat, as Riyanti spoke softly like that to me.

How can I be like this, I should also think of mother.

I can't be like this, ak-k

"Lyn, let me and Arlan prepare everything. I'm sad too, but I'd be sadder to know you're like this."

I knew I was wrong, had the intention of not burying my mother's body properly.

Oh my God ... Forgive my mother's sins.

I looked at Riki and Arlan alternately, then nodded in response to their request.

"Thank you, Lyn. We will make preparations as soon as possible, you just rest. Jangas

"I'd like to attend mom's funeral, please take me along."

I interrupted Riki's words flatly, as well as eyes staring blankly.

"Are you sure, Lyn?"

"Yes." Yeah."

I answered briefly with my head nodding convincingly.

For the last time, let me see my mother's pretty face.

"All right."

City B Public Funeral

In front of me right now are some hostesses, as well as an office friend, Raina. Who cried with sincere condolences.

No employee in my office, other than Raina, has come to grieve for me.

I stood with Riki and Arlan on my left and right.

Look blankly when the mother is rested in her place of origin.

No tears, no sobbing, no more roars.

I'm dead, come with my mother in that burrow.

I also heard and prayed, for the peace of my mother there.

Mother ... What do I have to do after this.

I was still silent, standing with no intention to leave, as mourners one by one left after chanting condolences to me.

Puk!

"Lyn, we're home."

Right now I was sitting tight, with Riki behind me, patting and looking at me with a sad look.

Don't look at me like that, Riki.

I wanted to talk like that, but I was unable to let out my voice, as if something was stuck in my throat.

"Lyn, it's late afternoon. You need rest, today let Riyanti accompany you well. Okay?"

I just kept quiet without answering my best friend's statement.

"Lyn, answer me."

"Riki, leave me alone. I want to be alone, can't I?"

I could see Riki shaking his head, I knew he must be very worried about me.

But I'm on my own, I still want to be here.

"But Ly-But

"I beg you, let me enjoy my solitude for a moment. I promise, I'll be fine."

I interrupted him, who finally relented as well with a tired sigh.

He knew that I was stubborn, because he was the only remaining person I currently had.

"Until when?"

"Until I'm ready."

Afterwards he completely gave up, hugged me tightly and whispered sedative words.

I accepted it, because I knew it was the sincere words of a mother-lost brother and son.

"I'm here, don't forget that, I will always and always be with you."

I just nodded and Riki relented, leaving me alone here.

I know there's still someone behind me, Arlan. Yeah, of course you are.

I know she's staring at me in silence.

I don't care, right now what I'm thinking is not him or the others.

Taps!

He crouched down beside me, silent and doing nothing.

"Ult ... I've been through this, I buried my mother myself. I also saw clearly, how was the last expression of Mama."

I just heard it, with no intention of replying or responding to it.

"I'm quiet like this too, but ... I don't want to be too late and end up with the sadness that my Mama will feel in heaven there."

What does he mean to say that.

"I'm sure, if your mother saw your current appearance, she'd be sad up there."

The deg!

My heart immediately skipped a beat, at the thought that my mother would be sad, seeing me like this.

"I'm sorry, Mother. Let me for a moment like this" my mind remained silent without even speaking.

Let him get bored and leave me alone.

"Lyn, even if you hate me, but I still love you. Until whenever."

I once again did not respond to him, I was still silent and suddenly a sense of warmth surrounded me, followed by the inclusion of his scent in my sense of smell.

"Quick be Evelyn, Evelyn whom I love" he whispered and he also kissed the top of my head.

The cup!

"I'll leave you here alone. But remember, not too long."

After speaking like that, he left me.

Completely left me, alone who ended up shedding also the tears I was holding back.

Hicks! Hicks! Hicks!

"Mother ... How is this."

Evelyn pov end

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