My Sacrifice is worthless

My Place Is Not Here Any More

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْناً عَلَى وَهْنٍ وَفِصَالُهُ فِي عَامَيْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ

“And We command men (to do good) to two of their mothers; their mothers have conceived them in a state of increasing weakness, and weaned them in two years . Be thankful to Me and to your two parents, only to-I am your return.” (Qs. Luqman :14)

_____________________________________

So many paths of thorns I've filled

I did not even meet the valley that presents green meadows

I have not seen the cold of thirst-busting water

Not even a single tree I met to just support the body when it was too tired

All I can do is walk and keep going

Hopefully up ahead there will be a rainbow bias down the road

***

Our school exams have been very good. Tomorrow the day after tomorrow is the graduation of the diploma to continue junior high school. A quiet afternoon accompanied me sweeping the courtyard of the house. My aunt came and sat on the porch watching my work.

"It's over here yeah ... Aunt wants to talk."

I nodded and continued my work. After collecting the dried leaves and washing my hands, I approached the aunt. I sat next to him.

"It seems like Bibik can no longer help you continue your junior high school" Bibik said without seeing me.

"Because Bibik's husband would bring his three other nephews to live here, namely Hendra, Egi and Dea to accompany Tia. So, Bibik hopes Ita understands. Bibik really wants you to stay here, go to school and accompany Tia but the circumstances that forced Bibik to convey this, before the registration of Junior High School in your village closed," continued bibik.

"God willing there will always be a way for a good boy like you Ta ... Tomorrow, get ready, let's go to your school and ask SKHU to take you to the village. Your diploma can catch up after it's out."

"Good Bik." I can no longer process the word for love. Begging for mercy. Let time answer how my fate will be.

I started packing my clothes, without a bag, just a noodle box where I was carrying my clothes. The big doll that Tia's sister gave me couldn't carry and because of its large size, which for two years has been my sleep-companion. Let me just leave it.

The next day my aunt drove me to school to ask for a temporary SKHU. We met the principal and Bu Nurhayati my homeroom teacher.

"He didn't go to school here, Miss Utin??" ask Bu Nurhayati.

"No ma'am, she said, school in her village ...."

"Well, wherever it matters you stay in school ... I'm sure your grades are the best."

I just listened and nodded without intending to answer anything. I hope the same with Nurhayati's words. Finished our business at school, I also say goodbye to the principal and teachers who have been guiding me. Bu Nurhayati hugged me tightly.

"If the mother's life is better, the mother really wants to send you to school, but the children of the mother are still small and the husband of the mother also only works odd jobs. Mother prayed, you can reach your goals" whispered Bu Nurhayati as she stroked my hair slowly.

"Yes Ma'am, Ita must have missed Mom and the friends here."

We also went home. I will leave for the village this afternoon using public transportation, transfer to the terminal. I say goodbye to my uncle and aunt, Sister Tia of course. I'm so grateful for everything, without them I wouldn't be able to do this. May Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala repay all their kindness.

The two-hour trip to the village was not felt because of my longing for my sisters. Nur is now 7 years old and is in the second grade of elementary school. Already agile berberes house like washing dishes, sweeping and cooking rice. Aji is 3.5 years old. They welcomed me home with joy. Father is at his wife's house, while Fitri is not yet out of work. Usually the schedule to go home is the same as me so we can let go of longing.

I hope to find a miracle here to continue my ideals of continuing Junior High. Coincidentally in my village is harvesting season, maybe before the time of registration SMP later I can collect money to add to my existing savings. Bismillah.