My Sacrifice is worthless

I'm Rela

Silent, grandma and dad fell silent after hearing the words tok Bah. Perhaps feeling offended or feeling guilty, their faces were grim.

"Yes, are you sorry, Grandma? If you haven't been able to be a good son and grandson, all this time" I said. "It just wants to be someone who can be useful to you,"

"It's Ta, they won't understand" sizzled tok Bah. "Come, we go to the fish market for yasinan tonight" he asked.

Grandma glanced at me with a sharp look, her hateful gaze was present again. I can't stand this way. I'mtired.

"Already Ta, don't be sad. Tok Bah will be here for one week," entertain tok Bah.

"Yes, Tok Bah. God willing, my father and grandmother will change,"

I and Tok Bah buy groceries for us to eat with guests tonight. Ah, if my father was like Tok Bah I would be very lucky, but anyway my father is still my parents. I'd love to be the one they always hated.

***

When I got home, my mom and some neighbors started cooking. Simple as long as they can be eaten together. This is how in the village, please help if you are hit by a disaster or a neighbor's thanksgiving event willingly help.

After the event, Tok Bah said he would go home because tomorrow he would have to go back to work.

"Uncle will go home first, take care of your children Adi, not only the body you have to take care of, but also their feelings. Later, you will age and need your children" advised tok Bah.

"Yes, uncle," replied the father indifferently

"Tok Bah home, Ta. Don't be sad anymore" he said.

"Ready, boss. Be careful on the road" I said.

Just a few minutes ago Tok Bah drove on his bike. The smoke is still in the air. Leaving behind white traces that disappeared in the air over time. However, not with speech, the lips easily speak painfully, but the pain can dwell forever in the heart, leaving a gaping wound invisible, not bleeding. However, impregnate. Like a nail when it is pulled from its previous place on the hammer, the place will die from the impact of a deep and hollow nail.

"Why don't you go with your Tok Bah? You seem to love her more than your own parents?" sindir granny.

"At least, someone loves me sincerely, Grandma," I replied sarcastically.

"You dare to answer now? It's because you're behind him?" cecar granny.

"You're the trouble-shooter in this house, '" Dad said. "You are the cause of your brother's death . .! Basic children do not know the lucky .. why not you who died ...? huh uh?" caci daddy.

I walk to the floor to hear Dad's words. Am I that bad in their eyes?

I am willing not to eat, willing to never get affection, but do I have to be willing to be the one to blame? The answer is, I'm sincere.

Not wanting to make things worse, I went into my room, wanting to spill everything there. If there's still Fitri, he'll cheer me up and cheer me up.

"Come, brother, don't be sad. God is with us" comfort him with a smile. A smile that I will remember for a lifetime. "Come on Kak, sleep, tomorrow we go to the tomb of Kak Fitri," Nur asked. I-Iyakan with a nod.

"Don't cry anymore, brother. Sis Fitri does not like to see Brother cry. Later he followed the cry also there," said Nur.



The third day of Fitri's departure. We'll meet her house. His eternal home will be our home. Pilgrimage reminds us of death, that nothing is eternal. Rich, poor, even kings cannot afford a life.

The ground was still red, the scent of pandan still smelled the air, the flowers withered slightly exposed to the sun. However, these tears are unceasingly taking me on a journey into the past, remembering the good times with them, Mother and Fitri.



"Please enter Sir. Sorry to wait so long, we're from the grave of the deceased" explained father.

"Yes sir, it's okay, we understand."

"How's my son's case progressing, sir?"

"Suspecting to get 3 months in jail, sir. That's with assurance, '" the officer explained.

"I leave everything to the authorities, sir. I just want the law to be enforced as fair as possible" said Dad.

"Good, Sir. We understand, we here also want to explain the procedure of the life insurance of the father."

I don't want to listen to what they're talking about anymore. Hearing the word money, my heart hurts. I hate that money. My brother was replaced by some money from irresponsible people, even the land transport truck that hit my sister didn't know where it was. May Allah repay what is planted.

"When did you go home to your Bah Tok?" ask grandma.

"After seven days, Grandma" I replied.

"Don't you want to go to school here?" ask grandma suddenly.

"I, I don't have any savings to move schools, don't you need any more fees?"

"Your father wants you to transfer schools here after the money's gone,"

"But Grandma, I don't want to use that money. Not my right, should use it for more important things like giving almarhumah name," I looked.

"Don't teach me. I know what to do, you follow your father's orders. Why give alms? When you're hungry, does anyone feed you? Is it when we're having a hard time that someone extends their hand for us??" sergeant grandma.

"Even the worms in the ground have their sustenance, Nek, God, who rules over everything" I answered.

"Talking to you is not going to have an end, it is good at lecturing parents," he sauntered out.

I can only take a deep breath, trying to stay sane in this matter. I don't want to enjoy that money at all. And to get back here, I was so scared. Not because of my parents' attitude but fear of being an ungodly child.

***

The 7-day event of Fitri's departure went smoothly. Many relatives and neighbors came. They do not come empty handed, some carry rice, sugar and even envelopes for the host. Helps to ease the burden of the disaster.

Tomorrow I'm going back to Tok Bah's house. I was out of school for a week. Many lessons are left behind.

"Tomorrow, Brother wants to go back there?" tanya Nur lirih's.

"Yes, Nur. Brother has to go to school. You also have to stay in school, remember the message of Kak Fitrimu, one of us should be able to be that person. Make them proud Nur," I said.

"Schooler's just here huh? I'm afraid I'm gonna have to face Dad and Grandma alone. Usually there is Kak Fitri come home once a week, but if ita brother is long?" nur Rajuk.

I was confused, confused to make a step.

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