My Sacrifice is worthless

Did It Just Get Here ?

I thought after that there would be no more tears. But I was wrong, that was the beginning. Doesn't the more trials we experience show that God loves us? Bibik is the head of the office. Bibik to the office using his personal car, and had a driver who we usually call Mr. Budi.

Mr. Budi does not live with us. Because he has his own house and his wife's children. Although the distance of his house and Bibik's house is quite far but every 06.00 am Budi will arrive and clean the car and breakfast first.

Mr. Budi is friendly and his jokes are also funny. Sometimes me and Tia like to joke around while guessing. But it turns out I was wrong. Kindness and honesty are different.

***

One morning. Bibik was a little noisy in his room. Apparently, aunt's beloved gold ring is gone. Either Bibik forgot to keep it where or scattered. We were all busy looking for her inside the house including the bedroom and bathroom. However, it also does not produce results. Finally, Bibik went to the office without finding his ring.

That afternoon I somehow saw the gazes of people all over the house different on me. I feel like a defendant ready to go to trial. Bibik asked me to take a shower and told me to bring my face to his room. It just so happened that night was Thursday afternoon Friday night. Usually Bibik will read the surah yasin after the prayer and Bibik asked me to accompany him. Not usually, but I don't think it's a problem. After the congregational prayer, the aunt asked me to bring her a glass of water to her room. Bibik lock room. Me and my aunt are inside. I sat down next to my aunt and began to read the surah facing the water. After we finished reading, aunt asked me to drink water that was believed to have become yasin water. I just thought there was no problem. Then my aunt asked me.

"Bec .. Have you seen the missing aunt's ring?"

"No Bik, Ita was looking for it this morning but didn't meet ...," I answered honestly.

"By Allah Ita did not see it? Or maybe save it?" ask bibik slowly, suspicious.

"For the sake of Allah there is no Bik, Ita where dare save or take something that is not right Ita ... Bibik accused Ita?" I asked with a trembling voice to hold back the cry.

"The child does not accuse but who else? can't possibly be anyone else?"

"For God's sake Bik is not Ita, if it is Ita who takes, Ita willingly quit Bik school and change the bibik ring ...."

"Well then, we'll see ...Where the hell is it going to do me ?" satir Bik Utin's.

Oh my God, I can only cry. What wrong? Is it because I'm a poor man who just hitchhikes? I went into the room without dinner first. Brother Mimin and brother Ijum asked me to be patient.

A few days later, God showed His power. It turned out that Mr. Budi had taken the aunt ring left in the bathroom. It was known to Bibik when he accidentally met the wife of Mr. Budi in the market and the ring was used by the wife of Mr. Budi. Praise be to Allah, You are All-Fair. After school Bibik also met me and apologized for the incident, accusing me without evidence only limited to prejudice.

***

School exams are just a few months away. We're getting ready to do school practice and try-out. Hope the value will be good later. I got word that my sister Fitri would be working as a nanny for the niece of Utin's niece in our downtown district.

Poor Fitri, he has to work at his age which is still very early. If only mother were still there, we would still be together as before despite eating potluck but full of affection and warmth of a mother. I hope Fitri is okay there.

Our school exams have been very good. Tomorrow the day after tomorrow is the graduation of the diploma to continue junior high school. A quiet afternoon accompanied me sweeping the courtyard of the house. My aunt came and sat on the porch watching my work.

I nodded and continued my work. After collecting the dried leaves and washing my hands, I approached the aunt. I sat next to him.

"It seems like Bibik can no longer help you continue your junior high school" Bibik said without seeing me.

"Because Bibik's husband would bring his three other nephews to live here, namely Hendra, Egi and Dea to accompany Tia. So, Bibik hopes Ita understands. Bibik really wants you to stay here, go to school and accompany Tia but the circumstances that forced Bibik to convey this, before the registration of Junior High School in your village closed," continued bibik.

"But Bik, who's going to pay for Ita's school there? Auntie knows, Grandma has a lot of dependents, and Dad has not cared about our education," I began to get tired of holding back the crying, did not feel the clear circle was flowing without me asking. Representing an unknown feeling.

"God willing there will always be a way for a good boy like you Ta ... Tomorrow, get ready, let's go to your school and ask SKHU to take you to the village. Your diploma can catch up after it's out."

"Good Bik." I can no longer process the word for love. Begging for mercy. Let time answer how my fate will be.

I started packing my clothes, without a bag, just a noodle box where I was carrying my clothes. The big doll that Tia's sister gave me couldn't carry and because of its large size, which for two years has been my sleep-companion. Let me just leave it.

The next day my aunt drove me to school to ask for a temporary SKHU. We met the principal and Bu Nurhayati my homeroom teacher.

"He didn't go to school here, Miss Utin??" ask Bu Nurhayati.

"No ma'am, she said, school in her village ...."

"Well, wherever it matters you stay in school ... I'm sure your grades are the best."

I just listened and nodded without intending to answer anything. I hope the same with Nurhayati's words. Finished our business at school, I also say goodbye to the principal and teachers who have been guiding me. Bu Nurhayati hugged me tightly.

"If the mother's life is better, the mother really wants to send you to school, but the children of the mother are still small and the husband of the mother also only works odd jobs. Mother prayed, you can reach your goals" whispered Bu Nurhayati as she stroked my hair slowly.

"Yes Ma'am, Ita must have missed Mom and the friends here."

We also went home. I will leave for the village this afternoon using public transportation, transfer to the terminal. I say goodbye to my uncle and aunt, Sister Tia of course. I'm so grateful for everything, without them I wouldn't be able to do this. May Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala repay all their kindness.

The two-hour trip to the village was not felt because of my longing for my sisters. Nur is now 7 years old and is in the second grade of elementary school. Already agile berberes house like washing dishes, sweeping and cooking rice. Aji is 3.5 years old. They welcomed me home with joy. Father is at his wife's house, while Fitri is not yet out of work. Usually the schedule to go home is the same as me so we can let go of longing.

I hope to find a miracle here to continue my ideals of continuing Junior High. Coincidentally in my village is harvesting season, maybe before the time of registration SMP later I can collect money to add to my existing savings. Bismillah.

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