Materialistic

43-Another Side Arda

"I in your eyes may be like a dead nun among idgham hillagunnah, seen, but thought to be nonexistent."

arrda Nazma Dewanda

•••

The calm that I have never had before, can finally be realized. All the affairs of the world that always overlap fill the head somehow lost at this moment vanished just by hearing the chanting of prayers that Arda said. I don't know what it means, but my heart just kind of knocks and slaps. All this time I have been worshiping only because of fear of the tantrums of Mamah. The prayer that I set up was only a movement without faith. Reading for the sake of reading that I say only with memorization. Without ever knowing the meaning and content of the meaning in it.

The gentle pat on the top of the head made me look doubtful, Arda was carving her beautiful smile there. I have flooded tears because of it. "Cry if it makes you feel relieved. I hope these tears, tears of remorse for the sins you have committed. Tears that will lead you to the door of repentance."

My body shivered violently when I heard the words full of sincerity and hope that Arda throws. "Gue the sinner, Arda! Is there a door for me?" My sobs are becoming. The tightness in my chest grew, and caused a pain I could not explain.

Both Arda's hands gently cupped my teary face. "As long as you live the door of repentance will always be open."

I looked at his light net so brightly. "Take me, Arda," I asked with pleading eyes.

Arda nodded without hesitation, and patted me softly. "We are both learning to reach His pleasure."

For the first time I gave him a sincere smile full of sincerity. I could see the radiance of relief in both of his senses, and many times I heard him chanting hamdalah and praises to Allah.

"Well, you get along, Mamah does look at her," said Mamah who was already standing casually in the doorway. Since when did he leave there?

I removed the rough clear liquid that had come out without permission. "Mood lack of work anyway. Ngurung Adara in the room, continues now even look again. What about Mamah Bintitan's eyes?" my only reply he replied with a twitch.

"Mamah just want to pinjem mukena the same prayer mat, Adara. Very sensitive indeed the romantic-romantic event Mamah gangguin," his chatter that makes me growl annoyed.

I got up and looked for the prayer equipment that was still clean in the closet. Can't it be if I borrow Mamah Mukena and used prayer mats?

"More." Mom picked it up and closed the door tightly. "Key the key again well the door. Who's in deep, don't fight and make drama again."

I turned the lazy eyeball and slammed my body on the bed. Mukena is still completely attached to my body. "Aren't you going to be together, Dar?" hail Arda when my eyes will close.

"Gue can't pay, can do it but if there is an Indonesian translation," said I who still survive with my position.

"Yes here with me, we learn together" he asked. I got up but there was no intention to put my legs together to head towards him. Doubts and worries are still deeply rooted in me.

"Here, it's easy, what else if your intentions are strong," he said gently. Both my legs were walking without me preventing them. I don't know like someone is moving it, but I have absolutely no interest in learning to read the Qur'an.

Arda got up and walked towards the nightstand, then sat down cross-legged in front of me. "You've finished Iqra yet? If we don't learn from here yet," he said. A medium-sized book of Iqra was within his grasp.

I snorted unconsciously. "This is a reading for SD children, once when my boy once read, but now I have forgotten. Don't want ah, the real prestige if until people know I just want to learn iqra. I'm two heads old, Arda," I refused.

I grunt my head. "Ah not cool. You're starting to run now, I'm not ready, Arda."

"Yes, no papa. I'm sorry, yeah," he persuaded gently. Why is it so easy for a man's mouth to apologize? He is clearly not wrong here. Basically I am the only one who is not ready to welcome the teachings of religion from him. Still half-hearted and not yet steady. I was so sure, but I don't know why now? My faith has always been like that. Up and down continuously.

"Actually why do you really want to hold back our relationship is not clear? You are minus in world affairs, but you have a lot of pluses in religious affairs. Why don't you look for a mosque girl whose knowledge and ethics are definitely all. Why should I choose?" I lay my body on the bed, and waited for the answer.

He chuckled softly before replying, "In the matter of a soul mate there is no term why and why? Because it is the absolute power of God. Are you the same as me? Obviously I won't be able to answer. But you must believe that God is never wrong in choosing a mate for each servant, Adara."

I quietly digested the sentence that Arda had just uttered. I am not satisfied to hear the answer, which is too classic and not so detailed. "I always pray that God will match me with a woman who is worthy of me. And Allah unites us in the lawful bond of marriage" he continued, which made me sit straight.

"But I'm not worth it. Want to be seen from any side we do not have equality," as I. In terms of faith, I obviously lost a lot to him. Judging from the looks of it was clear I was above him. Of his financial wealth and abilities? Obviously very contrary. So where does the equivalence lie?

Arda circulated his shoulders indifferently. "The fool is the mystery of the Divine, only He knows. Maybe this is the best for both of us."

"Best of all? The loss that exists. My presence in your life is just so benalu who inhibits your path. Yes simple gini aja deh, your worship never saggy automatic reward lo ngalir continue. Different from me, the road continues but his worship is rare and howling. Yes, I indirectly mourn sin and add to the burden of sin lo dong. Wouldn't a woman have married her sins to her husband? Means all this time I've riled you into the bad hole dong," explained. Either there's a wind from which Arda and I can sit together and talk to each other. Usually also fight and argument continues.

"God's mathematical calculations are different. Can't be less than that. You have become my responsibility, but as long as I always ingetin you in goodness but you keep still do not want to follow. Yes I am innocent, because it is my duty to remind and direct. For your business to follow my words or not it is absolutely your business with Allah." He seemed to deliberately pause his sentence, in order to make my curiosity come to the surface.

"For example, you follow a study, but after you come home from the event you even sin. Did the speaker who had given the study material the same you also sinned too? Not dong, because of the obligation of the preacher to tell the truth. For business whether practiced or left behind it is the business of its worshipers. Yes, so am I, you. I have tried to tell you what is right and what is wrong, but I have not been given the power to compel you. Allah does not restrain his people in matters of religion, why should I compel you to follow me? For your religion, and for me my religion. There is no compulsion in religion. You know what I mean, Adara?"

I was pensive to hear his words. Simple but managed to make me aware and slapped so great. Just a few minutes locked up with Arda alone has opened my eyes and heart a lot. Why haven't I found Arda in three weeks? Is it during this marriage charade running that he is performing to cover his identity? Ah, Arda is indeed a mysterious human that is very difficult to guess.

"Why are you so excited about talking long and wide? Where is Arda who has been talking about ngirit and itung-kuntas." Instead of answering his explanation, I was busy commenting on the others.

"You don't know me yet, Adara. When it comes to religious affairs I will definitely be happy to discuss it to the end without needing anything covered up. It seems we do need a lot of time to get to know each other," he said that makes me turn the eyeball lazy.

"It turns out all guys are the same. At the end of the doang mode," I said annoyed. His last words were disgusting and unpleasant to hear.

"Gue thought you were a stiff person and could not be invited to relax. But it turns out you are also just as rich as my other guy friends. Doyan dreadlocks and modusin girls guys," I added.

"That's just your thinking, Adara. You know me only to know, without ever wanting to find out. Yes, so that is always lodged in your brain is just bad things," he said with a hand that is ready to open the Mushaf of the Qur'an.

"Well, what do I find out about you. Lack of work, people every day you roam mulu mulu before my eyes," I argue. Who is he until I have to know the ins and outs of his life. He exists often I don't consider. Keep going now lightly without any burden he asked me to find out about him? I'm sorry, I have a lot of other work, which is much more important.

"You know the dead among idgham hillagunnah what the law is?" the question was that I immediately replied with a belt. Don't ask me about tajwid and his friends. To read the Qur'an alone is still stammering, what else knows the laws. People don't connect to the question. Again discuss the modes of eh even run to the laws of tajwid in the Qur'an. My head is directly puyeng.

"See but thought to be non-existent." At first I did not understand the meaning of the sentence that Arda uttered, but after I examined it again, I began to understand.

~TBC~