Materialistic

32-Malang Girls

"My behavior to him is sometimes disrespectful and bar-bar, even I often make him angry because I am doing too much."

the Adara Mikhayla Siregar

•••

There are so many types of people in the face of problems. Try to be patient and sincere and live it with full clarity of heart. There are also those who are getting closer to the Divine. But not infrequently there are also those who decide to kill themselves and end their lives - in the hope that after death they no longer know what is called trials and trials. This type of man that I fear most happens to me, because my faith is not so firm and can very easily swallow the whisperings of Satan that is very misleading. The first and second options were far away and there was no way I could do it.

Be patient and try to live it with chest roomy? I would never want to do something like that. Just wasting my time. Approaching the Divine? This is more unlikely. Where maybe I am who likes to act and his work only takes care of this world happens things like that. That wasn't me. I am a person who is too logical and realistic and of course realistic. More use of brain work than play feelings. Tired if the heart is always made the main shield. Heartache is certain and may be up to mental illness as well, if the brain is not going well and right.

I immediately blocked Arda's path when the man had just set one step in the doorway. I'm not gonna let him in. Didn't he say he wasn't coming home last night? And then especially now that he's here. It's no use at all.

"Gapain you're home?" todongku without the slightest bit of pity to see his tired face.

"I'm sorry, Dar I can't handle your desire all the time" he said, sounding so weak. He seems to be very tired. But I don't care.

I ruffled my waist in a proud style staring at him. "Nothing. Lo himself who semalem asserted my words. So there's no dispensation."

"I'm tired, Dar."

"Gue is tired. You think my life's what, huh? You ruined everything!"

Arda sighed heavily before saying, "Now what do you want?"

Asked like that without making any further small talk I immediately replied, "Divorce me now!"

He shook his head strongly with both hands that clenched tightly together. "I'll never do it." The look in his eyes that I had just now turned into a sinister sharp.

"Why? I have no right whatsoever to myself. Moreover, I am pregnant with Lukman's son." As much as possible I said in a loud voice. But to be honest, my knees are shaking because they see Arda's non-relaxed face.

"You're my wife." Only three words came out of his lips. But that short sentence made something in my chest rumble uncomfortably. I don't know what I'm feeling right now. But my logic defies, and commands that I put an end to it all immediately. Now or not at all.

"Temporary wife, just a contract of cooperation." I ventured to meet again with his sharp netra.

His conscious hand, with a strong clench, now turned on both of my shoulders. Grasping slowly. I'm sure he must be desperately holding back the fury within him. Butwhy? He should have just spilled it on me by now.

"I'm tired of taking a break" he said with a little twig. I was petrified with a head that was already cackling. Was he not wrong?

I didn't respond at all, and instead silently looked confused. What's the matter? Why is he so good at controlling himself and his emotions? I don't understand his mind-set is so strange and different from most people. Arda. That name filled my mind. What kind of man is he really?

•••

After this morning I left Arda alone. I don't want to live on one roof with him anymore. Although actually I am confused where to go, but bodo is very important I can be free from mysterious men like Arda.

To go home and complain to Mamah was obviously a stupid choice I couldn't have made. Instead of getting a defense, there will be tantrums at length. And the ending I was lectured to seven days and seven nights. Heh! So horrible.

My stomach which was already very rumbling again made a sound. Groped my bag which only contained a piece of green money. Where is enough money to eat? Just try I robbed Arda's wallet a little bit first, maybe the story won't be like this. Walk down the sidewalk with an unclear purpose. I don't like situations like this.

Netraku memicing when he saw a girl with dirty clothes that are not worth wearing is rummaging through the trash can. What the hell is he doing? Did he not feel the slightest disgust? It was very slovenly and could be ascertained nest of all kinds of diseases sourced there. I continued to watch every move of his hand that unrelentingly extended even deeper into that most disgusting place.

"Alhamdulillah," he said when the food was not worth the consumption was exhausted and entered into his stomach so smoothly. My knees are limp, my tears are soaking. Under such circumstances can he still be grateful? Even the sentence of Hamdalah just came out of her pale little lips.

My chest was so full of seeing that sight. I who live well still often complain without knowing the rules, do not even hesitate to blame the fate of life that I think is so cruel. But what that little girl did really managed to slap me over and over again. I'm not good at being grateful, and always demanding luxury without ever looking down, that there are still people whose lives are not as lucky as mine.

Uncommanded at all, my two limbs walked over to him who was still sitting cross-legged on the sidewalk beside the trash can. The pity that I don't need to show to people now I show that poor girl with curly hair. I crouched down right in front of him, an unpleasant scent instantly venturing out to my sensory senses. It felt so intoxicating that it made my head dizzy. But as much as I can hold it. I wonder what motive was behind the incident he just showed.

"Hi" I said as much as I could in a joyous voice, but I couldn't lie that my heart felt torn to shreds to see it so horribly.

He looked up and gave me a faint smile. "Sister hungry? Want to eat too?" tanyakanya. The girl's tiny hands showed a frictional pouch that was on her lap, "but the food is over, sister," he continued, putting on a sad face.

I was confused to answer what the little girl said, which was clear my chest was getting claustrophobic by the string of words she said. In such circumstances alone he was still thinking about others and intended to share the food not worth consuming it. I alone who live in an economic state guarantee never the slightest thought of the lives of others. But what that little girl did really managed to whip me mercilessly.

"Why do you eat food like that?" I asked with netra to look at the bag of scraped former food.

He followed my line of sight and replied with a faint smile, "As long as I can still eat, why don't you, sister?"

"But it's dirty and very unfit for you to consume" I told him. But the response he gave was just a smile. I couldn't catch what the pull on both corners of her lips meant.

He got up from his seat and went back to rummaging through the contents of the trash can. I don't know what the little girl did. A bread pack of about two loaves of bread the girl got. For especially? Is he still hungry?

"You still hungry?" ask me after getting up from a crouching position. He shook his head slowly.

"Then?"

"Mother I've been waiting, but she's starving" she replied with a sad face. The little boy I didn't know his identity was again hitting the rock of my heart that never did well to Mamah. My behavior to him is sometimes disrespectful and bar-bar, even I often make him angry because I am too much act.

"Give the bread back to the trash, come with Brother. We're looking for food for your mother" I said, pulling her wrist gently.

Hopefully, with twenty thousand money this can be enough to buy food. I don't know what food to buy with that kind of money. I don't know, but I hope it'll be enough to buy a pack of rice. A stall that sells various types of home-cooked specialties became my choice.

"Mom bought food but the money's just like this. What enough?" I said in a pretty quiet voice while handing a conscious piece of money over it settles in the wallet.

The seller's mother nodded. His hands were so agile as to take a pack of rice, take about two pitchers of rice and there were also some side dishes that I did not know of his name. I just saw that kind of food, and to be honest my appetite was gone. I wonder why people are crammed just for a plate of food in this humble stall. I don't know. Maybe because the price is friendly in the bag, but I'm a little sanctioned about the cleanliness. Not sure if this crowded place is clean and hygienic.

"Thank you, ma'am," I said as I received the food that had been wrapped in a black crackle.

I handed the package to the conscious little girl who was silent beside me. "This is for your mother to eat. Never again do you look for food in that rich dumpster, it's not good for your health." I said in a gentle tone as possible so that the poor girl would not be offended.

He just kept silent neither nodding nor shaking disapprovingly. But the look on his face was so readable that he was confused. Surely he's worried about the fate of his stomach tomorrow if he doesn't scrape the trash.

I stroked her dreadlocked curls, like I had never shampooed for months. "Where is your house? If tomorrow Brother there is money Brother will go to your house to make food," I said with a little skewers.

The boy's eyes sparkled so brightly, but the next second he lowered his head deeply. "Mother taught me not to ask for people, while I was still able to find them. Thank you for your good intentions, and thank you for making this meal too."

What's that poor boy's heart made of? Life is hard, but not helped. He was always grateful in the midst of the world's shortcomings and cruelty. Not wanting to trouble others and instead choosing to torture himself. I don't understand the child's way of thinking. I alone live in a state that is quite often troublesome others, even I do not hesitate to ask for money from some of my male friends. Though Papah and Mamah have given me the best facilities, but the basic me who is wasteful and not good at gratitude always feel less. Looks like I have a lot to learn about life with that poor girl. At a young age, he was able to think mature. Very different from me.

~TBC~