Materialistic

22-From Heart to Heart

"The way I think that always prioritizing material indirectly makes me forget and love the world too much. As if I'd lived forever."

the Adara Mikhayla Siregar

•••

Lucky today Arda works the night shift and I was able to break free from it, I was not ready to sleep in the same room as him. But if you tell him to sleep in the guest room will definitely invite suspicion from Mamah and Papah. I'm so grateful to still be able to make it through tonight. The clock has shown at ten o'clock in the evening but sleepiness has not yet come, my habit that is difficult to sleep at normal hours is increasingly becoming because of my activities lately who like to dwell in front of the laptop to complete the thesis. My sleep patterns are getting more irregular.

The sound of the door squeaking and the presence of Mamah shifted my focus who was busy playing the device. Nights like this smooth internet network without obstacles, playing sosmed so more freely without interference. "Why, Mah? How come the clock hasn't slept?" I asked when he was sitting in front of me, on the bed more precisely.

"You're also a habit, still like to stay up late. Take care of your health, dear." I put the device on the nightstand and glanced at it. "Yes, Mah."

Mamah gently stroked the back of my hand and said, "You don't know what's really going on with you and Arda, but Mamah doesn't want you to waste a man as good as Arda. It never hurts to accept this marriage, son." Tumben once Mamah spoke directly to the point, and did not make me dizzy with the language he used.

I was silent, confused as to what to say. Mama was very sensitive and understood me very much to the roots, let alone things like this that she could easily guess. The incident at the dining table may have succeeded in harassing Mamah until she was willing not to sleep on time.

Mom cupped my face full of warmth. "You don't want you to regret it in the future, Adara. So please, open your heart to, Son Arda well." I looked at Mamah with eyes hard to interpret. "I'm not sure if I can make this relationship with Arda, Mah. She's not Adara's type, let alone Adara's life being the same she's much different."

"Not sure, but you don't want to try. What's less than Arda, honey? He is responsible and also faithful. His religious knowledge is good, it is enough to guide you to his heaven." Much, Mah. The Arda is a lot minus than the plume. Why do you always look from one side? Just try if Mamah knows her annoying behavior that always makes me rise in blood. Would Mamah still consider him good without any loopholes?

I nodded in disagreement. "That's not enough, Mah. Arda is very likely to take Adara to heaven. But Adara is not sure he can be happyin Adara in the world, instead Adara is not grateful or kufur delights and even impressed love of the world. Adara must think long for the future of Adara, there is no way Adara can dampingin Arda in his current condition. Adara is not a woman who wants to be difficult, Adara is used to living quite without flaws. And if Adara continues to survive with Arda? Adara's not sure she can, Mah."

With a soft and thin smile Mamah stroked my hair slowly. "Don't worry about sustenance, son. Everything is set up and will never taper. Happiness does not always have to be measured by wealth and wealth, there are many other things."

I just looked down and held on with my clink. Mamah always knew when the time was right to express her intentions and goals, and she always managed to change my mindset in just minutes and even seconds. But not applicable to this matter, there is too much I should consider if deciding to stick around. Mamah was chatty for mercy, if by the way never use a filter, doyan nyindir, anyway not much bedalah same me. But at other times he can also behave like a loving mother and understand the situation of her child. If likened Mamah like a chameleon, changed according to place and needs.

Mamah was sitting on her side with her legs dangling to the floor, she looked at the balcony that was covered in curtains. "It can't go according to what you expect. Mamah married Papah in the same difficult situation, but because Papah you have promised Mamah happiness and will not make Mamah miserable, Mamah received your proposal Papah." He stopped his words and looked at me.

"You are as hard as anything if we are grateful and willing to try there will always be a way. Do you see Papah now? Papah you become a successful ruler with a large income and can support us without shortcomings. That man held his talk, and Papah you managed to keep his word. It all takes a process and it can't be instant."

Mamah sighed deeply before saying, "Tarta is not everything, son. Better to live a simple but happy life. Do you ever think what Mamah feels when Papah you always come home late at night or even spend his rest time to finish work? You're lonely, let alone you who always run around."

I know what Mamah feels, because I also often complain about Papah's activities are too busy looking for money. But I just found out that Mamah was worse than me, especially now that I don't live in one house with her. The sense of loss and loneliness must be many times Mamah felt.

"Sorry Adara because there has never been for Mamah. Adara's work only makes it difficult for Mamah Papah doang." I hugged Mamah from the side and Mamah replied to her.

"Qorun was killed because of his love for treasure. You don't want that to happen to you, son. Pursue the Hereafter, the world will follow, but if you pursue the world, the Hereafter will leave you. Fatigued if you continue to seek the pleasures of the world, there will never be an end."

My tears came down without me being able to stop. I was afraid that what Qorun was going through would happen to me as well. My way of thinking that always prioritizes material indirectly makes me forget and love the world too much. As if I would live forever.

"Mamah and Papah marrying you to Arda is not without reason, we rely on great hope that by being with him you can change and no longer underestimate someone of financial ability. The degree of man is not seen from the rich poor, nor from the high position owned, but his faith and his duty." Mamah's hands never tire of megelus the top of my head and also my back. I could only sob in his arms.

"But it's too late, Mah. Adara and Arda deliberately make a letter of agreement that will be completed by the end of next month." I spoke doubtfully and breathed deeply. Mamah was surprised and immediately let go of her embrace, she held onto both of my shoulders and looked at me in disbelief. My heart hurts to see that.

"Wedding isn't for fun, Adara! What exactly did you guys think to go this far." Mamah spilled her heart with a high tone of voice that made me shudder in horror.

"The one who asked Arda to write the deal, Mah." I'm no longer strong enough to harbor a big lie. I don't want to let these lies go on any longer and it's going to make the people closest to me disappointed.

The sigh sounded so heavy in the ear, it was very obvious that Mamah was dampening her emotions so as not to explode right now. "Cancel the deal you made and fix everything."

"It can't be, Mah. Adara doesn't like Arda." I'm still trying to deny. It's not Arda I want as a companion.

Mom got up from her seat. "You've wasted gemstones just for something unreal." That was the last sentence Mamah said before he actually walked out of the room.

~TBC~