Love Starts With Dreams
Episode 21
Today there are no activities that I have to do in the apartment, college is also a holiday, making me now bored in the middle room of my apartment, watching television whose events are no fun. amidst my boredom, I have a lot of fun, my apartment bell rang.I lazily went to open the door , and how shocked I was to see who the guest who came, he the person I missed now came to see me. I would love to hold her right now, to say how much I miss her, but I dare not do so, all I do now is to stare at her, until her calling resuscitates me from this.
"Don't let me in first?" he told me that we were still at the door of the apartment, so I just told him to come in.
"What do you want to drink?" ask him
"Of course, every time I come here, you haven't forgotten?" Ask him who I answer with a nod and go to the kitchen to make Aldi a drink. Yes, the guest who came was Aldi, the person I miss every day, the person I think about every day even though I was next to my girlfriend, but still I still think about it. I know I'm mean to my own boyfriend, but that's how I feel.
After finishing making drinks for Aldi I also returned to the guest room to deliver drinks Aldi at once to meet him. I want to ask what the purpose here is, but somehow mouthed me as mute, mute, and I finally just stayed quiet beside him.
Many questions I wanted to ask Aldi but no one came out, nor did Aldi, he was still silent.This awkward atmosphere had been running for thirty minutes, he said, no one opened their voices between the two of us. Until I finally heard Deheman Aldi and then I looked at him who turned out to be watching me.
"Vin, how are you?" ask pleasantries
"Well." I replied briefly, he just nodded and looked back at the television screen again, whereas I was still staring at him, as if he was an interesting object at the moment.
"Al.." called me, and Aldi turned to me
"What?" he replied with a smile, I just shook my head and turned my face towards the television.
"Why are we so clumsy, Vin?" tanyakanya.
"I don't know" I answered briefly.
"I want to kayak Vin again with you," he said, which made me amazed.
"You mean?" I don't understand what Aldi means.
"I know you know what I mean Vin, honestly I miss our closeness a lot, I miss being noticed by you, in the same masakin you, I miss everything about you Vin," he said slowly. I could see the honesty in his eyes. I also want to say that, I miss him as well but I don't want to just be eaten by his nonsense, I've been hard-earned not to care about him, I've been hard-earned to let it go and I've been hard-earned to forget it even though it hasn't worked, but I don't want my efforts to just crumble.
"But everything you started Al, I'm currently just following your wishes, I don't want to fall too deep again with you Al. if you want to know, I'm just following your wishes, I used to have no feelings for you, even I didn't like you at all, but after ..."
"...The dream was present, somehow my feelings towards you changed, I started to like you Al, I know this is ridiculous, but that's what I'm going through, that's how I feel, that's how I feel, I don't want to actually either. But I can't deny it...."
"... As if the dream was the path God gave me to be with you, I had thought maybe you were my soul mate, but I realized you only consider me nothing more than a friend. I hurt to squirm with other women, I am jealous when you are happy with others, even I envy those who easily have your heart, while I? I who fight want to have you..."
"... I struggled to get your heart, but until now for almost three years, I couldn't have it, no matter how big your mistake, I could easily forgive you, I know I'm stupid, I'm stupid to love people who don't even love me all this time." I explained at length while crying, I can't stand all this I just want Aldi to know about my feelings all this time as clearly as possible.
"Vin, sorry .." said Aldi slowly
"You probably won't believe what I said just now, that's up to you. I don't expect much from you Al either, I know you've found your happiness with Fania, and I don't want to ruin it. I've always wanted to give up, because I knew my struggle would be in vain, but the dream came back as if to remind me to continue to survive..."
"... and until then I endured all the pain I felt when I saw you with Fania, until I finally stopped wishing, and endured, and endured, after you told me to look for another man. And that's where I started to think that this might be best for me and you. But I'm sorry if until now I haven't been able to fully digest you, Al. Sorry if until now I still hope for you, but you don't have to worry Al, I won't ruin your happiness with Fania, I will also try to let go of you completely." I continued with sobs that I could no longer hold. Maybe it's time for me to give up, and forget everything about Aldi.
"Vin, please don't forget me. I know you are very disappointed with me, sorry I hurt your heart all this time, I do not want to lose you Vin," said Aldi.
"I don't want to go out with you, I'm just afraid that one day we'll break up we're far away, and I don't want that to happen. The courtship must have a breakup Vin so I prefer to suhabasan, because the position will not be broken words." continued Aldi again. I took a deep breath before finally taking it.
"Al I know that, in this way even I am hurt, when you are with other women, what I can do, I can only keep this pain alone, I can only keep this pain alone, I want to be angry but I have no right to be jealous, I can't because I'm just your best friend. Not always friends will always be together, friends will also be damaged by one or even because of both. Friendship will also keep us from each other, what else when one of us has a partner. When you have a boyfriend, you forget me so, you are cool with other people, while I am here just waiting for you without doing anything. It is no longer me who is your top priority, even you are more concerned with your girlfriend than your best friend. And indeed as a girlfriend who is more entitled to you, I am your friend who is not entitled to you, I can only support and pray for you to be happy." Obviously I'm at length.
"But I love you Vin!" aldi said firmly
"And you love him too Al!" my words are no less firm. Aldi fell silent and bowed his head.
"I don't want to lose you Vin" he said slowly.
"And do you want to leave him for me?" ask me to Aldi. Aldi.
"You don't want to lose me, and you don't want to leave him, you're selfish Al! You can't survive with both. Want to not want, like not like you have to choose Al, I don't mean you make me choose, I also don't want to destroy your happiness with Fania. Now you're home late at night. I don't mean you always stay with me. Follow what your heart says, if you prefer Fania, I just ask you not to hurt her, and not to abuse her. Enough I am a pain reliever, do not let anyone else fuss too, because he will not be able to," I said at length with the remains of my sobs.
"Yes I've come home, Vin." said to me, to which I answered with a nod and led Aldi to the door of the apartment.
Aldi looked at me and approached me and kissed me for a long time before he left. I went into my room and finally broke my tears. I wish this was the last cry. Last cry about Aldi.
Whatever Aldi decides I have to be ready to accept, Although it hurts, but if Aldi is destined not for me, what can I do?, but if it is not for me?, Because I believe God must have prepared someone better than Aldi for me.
