Learning to Be a Mother

4. Ordinary Aja!

After exchanging stories with my eldest son, I finally helped walk and little by little helped with the unfinished homework. Starting from washing clothes, tidying up the children's room, also cooking food this afternoon.

The dizziness that surrounds my head decreases as I move again. Although some of the work was done by Fathan and Kalista, I could not continue to rest.

Looking at Fathan who was sound asleep on the sofa, I smiled and walked over. Surely he was tired to help me at home, usually this boy more often tidying up the room and cleaning the outside of the house.

I rubbed his sweaty wet forehead, stroking his hair shoots as if he was still an Elementary School boy. Slowly, I brought my pronunciation closer to his ear.

"Fathan wake up first, yuk. Mama has cooked fried tempeh with your favorite soy sauce eggs," I said slowly waiting for him to react. "We ate together, yeah."

After his wrist was shaken slowly, Fathan with a body wearing a black T-shirt woke up to regain consciousness. God, just wake up my handsome son.

"Let's eat, Ma."

My head nodded. "You wash your face before you eat, yeah. Mama's going to Kalista's room, she's been hanging out all day in her room, scared for nothing."

Hearing this, Fathan then staggered towards the bathroom at the end of the room. Actually I want to ask for help to persuade Kalista, but I am her mother and I should have moved first.

So I moved to his room, stopped in front of the dark brown barrier to catch my breath and exhale again. Patience, Laras.

The door slid, calling for a resident in there who had incubated after I woke up to replace him in order at home. I don't know what my girl did, there was no sound or sign that she needed anything from outside the room to stock up in the room.

"Calista, lunch, yuk," I knocked on the door again. "You've cooked your favorite bayem vegetables."

"No way!"

My heart shrinks it made. "Yes, Mama took it for you, yeah. You'll eat in Dalem."

"Gue said I didn't want to!"

I looked at the door in front of me. If this thing could talk, it would have rubbed my back. Is Kalista still mad at me, huh? Has he hated me more since that incident? Was I too rude to her?

So many questions haunted my mind, I felt shunned by my own son without knowing what caused it. However, if I beg here also does not produce anything. I can only surrender.

I went back to the dining table, sitting blankly with my other son in that place. Looks like he was waiting for me earlier, I haven't seen Fathan eating his food.

"Ma, which kalista?"

I smiled a little. "Your sister's studying, she's eating later."

The lie I made could be likened to a piece of paper squeezed, then thrown into the water which made it still visible. Either I'm a fool to lie or Fathan cannot be lied to, but my son does not believe what he hears.

The proof, my son approached his sister's room. Looks like Fathan wants to prove it himself. I'm watching him from here.

"Calistas, eat!"

"No way!"

"Open the door" asked my son to knock on the door of his room. "Open!"

Suddenly Kalista opened the door, meeting her with her brother. "What, anyway. Whynot? No manners, eat and eat!"

"Mama cooked for you."

"Yes, just eat it."

"Make lo," repeated Fathan giving him a suppressive sentence.

Then, Kalista's wrist was blocked like what happened in the hospital yesterday. "Now."

"Why is it, anyway?" My son rebelled.

No, I don't want any fights right now. Let Kalista enjoy her meal later, maybe she really doesn't want to eat with me. I need to be able to understand it, stop it all, Laras!

I approached them. "Fathan, that. Kalista eat later, we eat first, yes. Let Mama eat later," interrupted I make his attention replaced.

Then, the man complied, he took it off. Honestly, I was a bit scared when Fathan got emotional, afraid he lost control then switched to easily playing hands on people around him. I'd rather give up than see it so painful.

"Assalamu'alaikum."

"Wa'alaikumussalam."

I don't know if it's the right time to be happy. Is it time for me to welcome him, how do I welcome him home? What topic should I give her after she looks at me sharply?

Yesterday's incident still shocked me, no one tried to understand or mourn other than my mother and Fathan. She was disappointed, she was sad too, but shouldn't have left me alone in a cold room, right? It was horrible, it was horrible. I get goosebumps when I remember it.

The one who was waiting to be beaten was now in front of me, as someone who had just stepped home to rest and did not want to be disturbed. The one in his shirt with the bag as his tent left for the office, coming home with a lethargic face that did not know what caused it.

My husband, Cahyo, come home.

"Why again? Told to eat but won't eat?" Instead of focusing wrongly on my presence, Cahyo even chimed in on us. "Take his HP, don't play HP anymore."

Of course my son is upset, he's moving to the dining table now. His feet jerked to the floor as he walked, as if his father's arrival was a disaster for the comfort of his affairs in the room.

Fathan also followed his sister to the table, this time like giving space between me and my husband. However, when my attention returned to her, Cahyo instead went to the room.

Without a second thought, I followed him inside. She seemed to be in a hurry after seeing me coming, changed her original clothes that hung inside the closet, then moved outside the room, blurring from the fact that I was waiting for her to speak.

"Dad, don't want to eat yet?" I asked slowly after sitting next to him, trying to steal attention to look at me for a moment rather than watching his laptop continue. "I cooked a lot for you."

"I have a job, again" he replied briefly.

"But it's at home, it's time for you to take a break."

"Oh, if at home can't see a laptop like that? So I can't, uh, continue with the project?"

I was stunned when his intonation instantly changed, I didn't like it when he behaved like this to me. It was as if I was just a maid or a waiter giving word that 'the food is ready' at the dinner table.

"It's not so, Dad. As if eating first so that there is energy, we eat with each other," I said trying to reduce trembling. "Kasian, they're waiting."

"I told you there was work again. You don't know, do you?"

"It's a habit of times."

"Who is talking?" murkanya looked towards my children.

"Dad, it's ...."

"How dare you say that to Dad?"

"Dad ...."

"DAD, FREELANCE!"