Learning to Be a Mother

14. Likes Me.

Here we are, sitting in rows at a dining table that is lacking members. After waiting long enough to make sure my youngest child came to dinner together, we finally reached the gate of the event. Between me, Fathan, and Kalista at the dinner table.

Each began to choose a side dish, various kinds of warm and warmed food presented in front of them. A plate of sweet soy sauce chicken, a sheet of omelet that is still warm, also some pieces of fried tempe Fathan's favorite.

I took the chicken as a rice companion, grazing its sweet treat mixed with hundreds of grains of cooked rice to be delivered to where the food was destroyed. Every now and then I glance at my children, thinking they are eating well or not.

Fathan chose two pieces of dried fried tempeh and his soy sauce chicken as well, while Kalista made that piece of omelet as her dinner companion tonight. She does love a wide variety of egg preparations, but my son seems to have no desire.

In order not to be too awkward, I finally said, "What group tasks are there?" With a look on Kalista.

Kalista looked up, creating an exchange of views between us that ended with the turning of my son's face. I don't know if he's trying to quibble by not answering me directly or how, but for sure, Kalista is stalling.

"Sociology."

I nodded my head, obeying my son's words. I had read the conversation of my son and the man earlier, they did have time to discuss the lesson as a discussion of group work.

However, I was a bit surprised to see the message of his friend who invited him to play outside. Especially with a man who is not necessarily well known, nights, where maybe I am not worried. I might as well allow it.

"Ma, can I go outside this mall, right?"

I was surprised to hear him ask permission, was he really going outside with Biyan? In fact, I just saw it yesterday and today. I've never heard of him from Kalista, he never told me.

"No."

No wonder, Fathan's attention was divided for the interaction between me and my son. Neither me nor him, we exchanged glances as Kalista clucked.

"Why, anyway? Not far away from playing, nine o'clock come home."

"You don't know if you say."

Kalista screeched, "Don't Mama ever understand me?"

"Calistas." As usual, Fathan infiltrated our conversation. "Who are you going to go out with?"

Hearing the angled question, instead of answering directly, my son fell silent for a while. Neither I nor Fathan, it seems we have the same thoughts. Indeed teenagers of his age always play together the opposite sex and this is the first time Kalista dare to ask permission for it.

Actually, I could've let my son go. As long as Biyan has to deal with me first, I have to judge her before taking off the only daughter in this family. All I've done all this time is worry. If not, it's because of his father.

"Just like Biyan."

"Well?" ask my firstborn quickly. "Malem-malem, but this afternoon already home together."

"What's wrong, anyway? When will I play."

"May play," my aura made Fathan growled with his sister also sparkled. "But in this house."

Then, they were more and more surprised to hear my answer earlier. I'm saying that doesn't mean letting them play either, yeah. My point was not to allow them, nor did I want my son to be glimpsed by neighbors when they saw him with the opposite sex.

Fathan whose brother alone never brought a girl or was close friends, it was impossible for me to allow his sister. If Cahyo knew all this, we could have dinner finished first with the escape of one of the table chair occupants.

"No, Calistas. Here!"

Unfortunately, my son did not comply. Again he slammed the door, blurred into the room with a raging feeling. I feel bad, but I think it's too soon if Kalista and Biyan spend time together.

The night is getting late, my eyelids also wither along with drowsiness blanketed. The time is still running which is now until eleven o'clock at night, my children should sleep or at least lay their bodies in a warm mattress.

I rubbed my eyes, yawning repeatedly as I glanced at the wall clock as if looking for attention. No word yet from my husband, he looks inactive with his empty contact profile photo.

Before long, there was the sound of a vehicle horn from outside my residence. It seems that the anticipated finally arrived, my husband came home as he said late at night. I hurried to the dining table, making sure the side dishes were available without being swarmed by ants or flying flies. Thank God, everything is ready.

Because the door was locked, there was the sound of a house door lock trying to open the gate where I lived. I tidied the pajamas I was wearing, trying to look beautiful despite being carried away by age and performing late at night. Smile, then look into his eyes.

"Cahy."

"What are you doing here?"

I was stunned, "I'm waiting for you to come home, you must be tired. I'm ready to eat it at the table, eat it before going to bed, baby."

"Gue told you to go to bed first, didn't he?" Instead of being moved or grateful for my treatment of her, my husband said something else. "No need to wait, just stay asleep really complicated lo."

My chest is tight, I doubt I can be calm now because my patience has been thinning. "I'm willing to stay up late waiting for Dad, and you keep telling me to sleep?"

"Oh, finish my food then."

The bag was thrown originally onto the sofa, not forgetting the tie knot that was removed roughly before it was thrown in a different direction. Cahyo looked chaotic tonight as if something was making her feelings worse, perhaps because of the sheer amount of work, but that's why I've survived until now.

"I'm eating for you."

"No need, it's malem. Mending you sleep."

My head shook, obviously I rejected the impressed man who drove it from before him as well. I don't understand, I tried to serve my husband well but this is how he treats me?

I'm trying to look at him now. "Well, I'm willing to sleepy for your mastiin to come home safe. I'm eating because I don't want you to be sparse, I want you to eat."

"Sleep," she said, not knowing herself. "Not slept?"

"No?"

"Let me sleep."

Then, the sentence became the conclusion of our conversation breakup at night. Cahyo entered the room, slamming the door with the sound of the barrier being locked from the inside. I was just left outside with a few plates of her favorite food.

"Dad."

Again, I feel like I failed. I was crying, again.