Learning to Be a Mother

3. Fretted.

"His wife was in an accident, she had a miscarriage in the hospital and her husband was intoxicated here!"

I'm apologizing. It's not that Mom grabbed my husband's head or that Mom was nagging at night, I'm sorry for not stopping Mom from hurting Cahyo. I let it go, I ignored it or I watched it.

"No consciousness?" My mom still grabs it with the occasional tug of restraint. "NOTHING RIGHT!"

However, there was no response coming out from half of Cahyo's consciousness. She just drooped limp and unconscious after Mom threw her back on the sofa, Mom gave up. Cahyo was too drunk to be jerked.

Finally, I chose to calm Mom down. But as I approached her, she shook her head slowly and then touched my left shoulder.

"Mom asks for help with you, if Cahyo is still like this, you are honest with Mother. Tell me Mom, don't forget," she looked at me. "Can't you, honey? Don't be pinched, I don't like."

But I just want Mom not to mind much, I want to be able to do it like Mom who does not complain much. I will be a strong mother like many women out there, I will prove it through the condition of the family in this house that will improve.

I pledge.

I said, Mother, and then the woman with the black cardigan left me here, in the house where I was supposed to study and go home.

Scratch the state of this house again, messy like a broken ship that was always pronounced mother first. The smell of alcohol is getting stinging here, there are dozens of glass shard of goods and alcohol glasses scattered on the floor, in some corners of the room looks a bunch of dust that has not been cleaned as well. Looks like neither Fathan nor Kalista had time to clean it up.

"Mama!"

I turned to the source of the voice, looking at the return of my eldest son with the shopping bag he was holding. She looked worried after seeing me in this room, her steps were in such a hurry that I was worried that there was a glass hemisphere hitting her legs later.

Unfortunately when I want to pick up one by one the pieces, my head feels dizzy with a chest that suddenly hurts. Fathan's side in front of me became the same time for my body to limp.

...***...

I fainted and woke up the next day. Kuraba my forehead while occasionally pressing her inside, dizzy, I can still remember the events of yesterday night. When Cahyo was in a drunken state, I had to wake her up to go to work before it was too late.

I intend to use the table as my pedestal wake up, the weight of it feels to make this knee not bend again. Until I lost control and accidentally dropped the glass on the table.

"Mama!"

Someone approached, kneeling before me to help me stand up so that it ended up on the surface of this mattress again. Huft, why am I so weak, anyway?

"Mom don't go anywhere, just in the room. Let Fathan be the same Kalista who cleaned up the house."

"Mrone ... Kalista not school? Why are you letting her stay at home, where's Kalista?" I asked in succession, glancing to and fro to try to get out of bed again. "She should go to school."

"Ma, Kalista has permission. It's ten o'clock, there's no way Kalista's going to school right now."

"Four ten? Mama hasn't cooked yet, Mama hasn't prepared her clothes your father, Mama–"

"Ma, it's already." This time, Fathan was full of emphasis. "Everyone has been bullied me the same Kalista, this time Mama just rest, yes. Mama just got home from the hospital, Fathan doesn't want Mama's ketchup to continue."

"Lebay lo."

I had a chance to see him for a while, Kalista crossed her eyes with a look of disdain for him fixed on me. Judging from a wet forehead as if previously covered in sweat, the netra that has darker eye bags, as well as part of his blistering hair made me realize that my youngest son did my job. He does housework.

"For Mama, I didn't go to school today" Kalista glanced at her nails as a diversion object. "Today there is a test that cannot be followed."

"Lebay lo."

Feeling insinuated, my son then replied, "Dih, which is more Mama. That's not possible."

"Calistas!"

"Why? I talk to you often."

"Get out."

I rubbed my gloomy face, hiding an expression that made anyone feel worried or apologized as his representative. It seems that Kalista does not like me, it seems like she is still disappointed.

Then, my daughter stepped away from this place. I sighed, staring at my ten fingers that were still limp despite having been lying down for a whole day.

"Mom rest, yeah."

"How's dad?"

"Dad's gone from there, Ma. It must have been in the office" replied Fathan calmly. "Oh, just a minute, Ma."

As if in a hurry to be chased by a deadline, Fathan then left me in the room. Five minutes later, he came with a plate of fruits for me. His face was soft, I smiled.

"This is the fruit that Fathan bought semalem," he said he had glanced at the luggage. "Sorry there's a little, Ma. Fathan didn't bring much money."

"It's okay, honey. Thanks, yeah."

Fathan smiled slightly, then sat down beside me as well. The next few seconds, I felt a long-overdue calm, a moment of togetherness between me and my son even though this body still seemed to need rest.

Fathan, the first child with characteristic natural brown hair descended from his father. As I recall, he was 170 cm tall with a hobby of playing futsal. In the past, he often asked for permission to go home late because of training with his friends.

But lately not anymore, probably because Cahyo often scolded him. When finished diomeli, usually my son this one will be silent while adapting to the body temperature of the heat triggered by his own father. Meanwhile, I sometimes approached and rubbed Fathan's back to calm his feelings.

Fathan is smart, I've also heard about his girlfriend at school. However, because my husband rarely gave him permission to leave the house, it is likely that there was a feud that was secretly always revealed due to the lack of time together with Fathan and his woman.

I rarely see my firstborn sad, he also helps me more often even though his feelings have deteriorated first. I didn't demand it for value or didn't ask it to go in which direction, I'm sure Fathan knew about his own talent needs and interests.

We chatted casually and occasionally chuckled, I enjoyed the avocado peeled by my son while thinking about what Fathan had been up against lately. It must be hard for him, he's good at hiding problems. I'm fretting.