Is It Wrong Not All Right?

Farewell Event

Fina stood firmly in her room holding a piece of paper containing verse after verse of the poem she had made. The farewell event counts the days. Sometimes doubts arise in him. In a few more days he would break through the barrier wall that had been encrusting him.

Fina took a swing. His mood began to dissolve with the meaning of the poem. Expressed face. Fina's lips spoke, letting out a heavy, loud voice.

They said I was crazy...

But they know what?

They say my faith is lacking..

But who are they?

Fina's view is circulating. Hand's moving. He imagined in front of him there was a crowd of people watching him.

Isn't it okay to feel fine?

Let tears be a sign that we are human

There is no law that prohibits suffering.

Know, you are valuable.

Those empty mouths...

Think of it as the wind..

Fina finished reading the poem. A good exercise. But the atmosphere will be different when he is on the real stage. Given that, anxiety arose again. Fina did not want to imagine any bad events.

Just a minute, Fina. Lo can definitely. Calm... Fina muttered to herself, reassuring herself.

He breathed a sigh of relief. The training session is over. Fina had to mentally prepare her and learn to control her anxiety for the breakup event later.

...***

...

Time passes so quickly. The anticipated moment arrives: Bina Antara High School farewell event. The students looked very handsome wearing black jaz accompanied by a tie wrapped around their necks. The students do not want to be outmatched. They look beautiful and graceful in a kebaya dress. The event was held in one of the magnificent buildings. The parents were also present, bearing witness to the graduation of their sons. Including mr. Fina.

The event was opened with a speech from the principal. Then, proceed to the awarding of medals. One by one the students went up on stage to get a medal necklace and did a photo session.

Fina looked charming with a pink kebaya dress attached to her slender body. Pink her favorite color, so she chose that color for this special day. Since the first step he entered the building, his mind has stuck in the appearance of the poem he will bring. His feet began to shake. Fina challenged herself not to take anxious medicine today.

Fina in her chair, sitting stiff. He was waiting for the medal to be held. Suddenly his gaze finds Gerald and Lindy in a special line of trustees. Gerald and Lindy waved their hands while smiling knots at Fina. Fina forced a smile back. In fact, he was controlling his breath to minimize his anxiety.

“You are so beautiful, Fina.” Lindy cheering.

“Im proud of you, Fina Gerald followed.

Turn's arrived. Fina walked onto the stage for the medal. His eyes rolled around. There were so many people, Yang Fina thought of only one: Would he be able to read poetry in front of those hundreds of people? Fear attacked him. Bad thoughts flashing. What if he does something wrong? What if people laugh at him? What if his appearance ends up ruined?

Fina began to be overwhelmed by her anxiety. Until the show finally arrived. Fina's anxiety peaked. The first performance was filled by a student who sang solo. The applause flooded as the last words of the lyrics of the song he was singing finished chanting. The second show is owned by a student who stands up comedy. The whole building was surrounded with laughter. Everyone chuckles. Except for Fina, he was still busy controlling his breathing. After this his turn came.

Fina's name was pronounced by the host. Fina closed her eyes for a moment, tried to calm down and then rushed onto the stage with a piece of paper bearing the poem of her creation. Applause was welcomed first. Felisha, Helena and Devi stand up enthusiastically when they see Fina, a schoolgirl suffering from social anxiety, manage to get into her trap to appear in front of hundreds of pairs of eyes.

“Ho!!!! Go Fina go Fina go!” Felisha and her two friends screamed. Which actually makes Fina even more uncomfortable on stage.

“You can do it, Fina.” Lindy cheers. Fina heard that voice even from a distance.

Fina took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. He began to set his tone and recited the poem on a piece of paper in his hand.

They said I was crazy...

But they know what?

They say my faith is lacking...

But who are they?

The second stanza also went smoothly. Switch to the next stanza.

Isn't it okay to not be okay?..

Let the...

Fina faltered. His lips stopped speaking. The voices of the people who seemed to provoke him gushed into his ears.

You freak!

What is an 18-year-old problem?

The most drama

You're a lot of trouble, Fina. Auntie doesn't want that to affect Win.

Those words... The words that Fina once got from people who could only talk thoughtlessly broke Fina's confidence on stage.

Fina circulated her gaze to the people before her eyes. Felisha, Helena, Devi, Mama Win, they were all here and they were afraid of Fina. Fina completely lost concentration. His head hurts. The words from them kept spinning in his head like broken tapes. Fina's view is blurry. Legs limp. Fina could not continue reading the poem.

“Sorry.” Fina went down the stairs and ran. Felisha smiled triumphantly. Plan's success. He started to provoke the audience to cheer Fina up.

“Hoooo!!” Felisha leads. Students followed. The building was now filled with cheers of defeat for Fina.

“Hire!”

“Too-shame!”

“Many dramas!”

Some of the students were saying bad words.

Fina ran crying to the toilet. However, not until the toilet his legs had weakened first. He let his body fall in the deserted passageway. Fina shed all her tears on her failure at this time.

The sound of footsteps approaching. Someone crouched down and thrust a piece of tissue at the fragile girl by the side of the passageway. Fina. For a second he looked up at the figure before him. Right now he just wanted to hug the guy. Fina hugged Geralad, ignoring the tissue that the boy had given her.

Fina sniffled on Gerald's shoulder. Gerald stroked Fina's back, calming.

“Its okay.” Gerald with his shady voice whirled. “So that you've been great.”

“Ma-af Doc... I failed.” Fina said dotted.

“Fine... I will always be here, helping you get out of this,” said Gerald.

That day, maybe Fina failed to appear before hundreds of pairs of eyes. But he always believed. The future will shine brighter. He will continue to grow, becoming a stronger person.

That same day, Win witnessed Gerald and Fina in the hallway hugging. Fina looked so calm in Gerald's arms after the incident. Win began to realize and act mature. Now he's 19. Changes in mindset occur as a form of maturity. His childish attitude eroded bit by bit. Now that he realized, Fina needed more whom.

...***

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