I'M Sorry To Hurt You [Last]

02| Special Chapter (Edgar) (End)

I stared at the large building in front of me. When daydream—walk without directions—tadi without me realized has been on the page of the Beijing cancer foundation. The yard is very large with lots of trees. Under a shady tree many cancer survivors and volunteers were talking. They share stories. Sharing experiences. Smilingly. Laugh with happiness without fear and anxiety at the illness suffered. Not like me. The illness I suffered seemed to suck out my spirit. I had no hope of life when I first heard the word condemned.

I got my smartphone in my pants pocket. My phone kept ringing. I see who's calling, Purnama. He must be worried about me.

Forgive Brother, Pur. I intentionally turned off my phone. I need peace without being disturbed by anyone. I need a place to be alone. I want to rethink everything I've been through in this life in order to make a decision. The decision to perform surgery—which I thought would all be the same as the result. I'm still gonna die. Nothing's gonna change.

“Excuse me, sir, can I help you?”

I froze. My blood is finely rustling. My heart is beating fast. The voice ... voice that is familiar to me—though it has not been heard for two years. I turned. Zahras. Yep. My ex-lover.

“Mas Edgar? Is this really you?” he said with wide eyes. Just like Zahra, I was very surprised to see her. Even more surprised to see the change in him. Two years without seeing him. He really has changed. He was wearing a hijab. I think she's getting pretty and sweet.

Seeing her change made me feel even more insecure about living. I think a good man and his love has brought him better. Mercifully. Just like I said two years ago. He was able to find a better man than me. Even very, very good of me.

Without a word, and not wanting to hurt my heart seeing the change, I turned around. But Zahra's melodious and husky voice holding back the crying stopped my steps.

“Can we talk, Mas?” she begged. He quickly stepped in front of me. Obstructed my steps. Kuhela short breath. There's no point in avoiding it anymore. I also nodded.

Then we sat on a wooden chair under a shady tree. We sat a little far away. Zahra deliberately kept her distance from me. I-i understand. Don't want to argue. We are not his muhrim. I think Zahra is guarding her honor for her husband.

“How's Mas been doing all this time?” ask Zahra. He started talking first.

“Good,”my answer is short.

“Mas is married huh?” he made me look at him. In his dim eyes was a deep wound there. I think he's still hurt about my decision suddenly two years ago. Without having left him. Zahra hurriedly lowered her head when our eyes met.

“Not yet,” I replied hoarsely. I wanted to tell her a lie. But my little heart told me to be honest with her. “I think you're married, Ara.” I asked back.

“Same. I haven't.” either

The answer made my heart beat fast. A faint smile danced to the side of my lips. It was as if there was hope appearing at the bottom of my heart. Is it wrong of me to expect him to come back to me? Do I still deserve him who dumped her. But then the corner of my lips came back flat. Even if she is not married, she may have a husband. A faithful man awaits him.

“Why can it be in Beijing?” Suddenly we both asked questions. We looked at it for a moment. Then Zahra looked down again.

“You answered first, Ra,” I said.

Zahra took a short breath and twisted her fingers. Without looking at me and keeping his head down, he started talking, “I came here for volunteering.”

“Rawyers?”

“Yes. I've been here a month to help encourage people affected by cancer. That's my promise to mama that she's cured.”

“Appoint on your mama?” I was a little surprised.

“A year we parted mama was sentenced to cervical cancer. It is not long ago.”

I was stunned to hear it. Oh, my God, how hard Zahra was at that time. I have to take care of my mother alone. His father had been dead since he was a baby.

“Then is your mom?” ask me to hold my breath. I don't want to hear the bad possibilities.

“Thank God. A month ago my mother was declared cured. This is all thanks to his spirit that continues to struggle to heal.”

I smiled at hearing it. “You are a great man,” my praise. I was silent for a moment. Something warm is running through my heart. His mother Zahra who was sentenced to his age soon can survive the disease. And I ... I stared at the bright blue veil of Zahra waving in the wind.

“Ra, you must be very happy now huh?” I said.

“Of course. Mama recovering from her illness is the happiest thing I have.”

I smiled hearing it. “But that's not what I meant, Ra. Seeing such a big change in you, there must be a great man who loves you.”

“Means because seeing my appearance is this?”

I'm nodding.

Zahra smiled sweetly. “Mas is wrong if I change because of a man. I moved because of my promise to my mother. If my mother recovers, I will close my aura. Become a better muslim.”

“So you don't have a husband yet?” my many.

Zahra shook her head. “The one who last filled my heart is only you, Mas. Until this moment I have no one else,” he said shyly.

“Ra, do you think someone who might have been sentenced to death still has a life expectancy?” ask again.

“All breathing creatures deserve to have life. Even if the man is condemned to die, if God wills otherwise, it will not happen. Only God has the right to rule his creatures. We as his servants should never give up. Never give up fighting to get well. And always pray to him. As happened to my mom.”

I smiled brightly. It was like the sky was covered with cloudiness then suddenly turned bright again. That's how I feel right now. I don't know where it came from. Hearing Zahra's words made my spirit seem to return again. The spirit to live a better future.

“Mas, may I have your phone number? You see, the old phone number is no longer active,” he said shyly with a reddened face. Thas right. After breaking up from Zahra and going to Beijing I changed my contact number. I did this to remove my tracks from Elias at the time.

“Ung .. anyone knows who wants to be chatted. Even though we have no relationship anymore, is not our fellow Muslims obliged to keep silatuhrahmi,” clarifies Zahra when I see me silent. He thought I wouldn't give him my contact number. I kept quiet because I was so happy.

I'm nodding. Then take my phone in my pants pocket. We exchanged phone numbers. In the distance someone came to us. Talk to Zahra. It seems like our talking time is over. Before leaving she turned back around, looking at me fixedly.

“Body Mas very skinny. Mas's face was also pale What did Edgar hurt?” his tanyakan made me hold my breath. I just shook my head. I don't want to make him worry about me because of my illness.

　

　

***

　

　

Two days have passed from my meeting with Zahra. I am in the waiting room for the operation. Awaiting schedule. I still vividly remember the surprised and happy faces of Elias and Purnama when I suddenly said I wanted surgery. It's all because of Zahra. Because his words made me change my mind. I want an operation.

I looked around with my chest rumbling. My heart was beating fast waiting for the seconds to enter the operating room. I look at the faces of the people who love me. Purnama, Elias, Cinthya's aunt and her husband, also Randy. They were the same as I felt right now, extremely anxious and afraid of the outcome of the operation. Will I be healthy or will I close my eyes forever.

This is also my reason why I haven't picked up Zahra's call for two days. I don't want to give her false hope. I don't want him to be disappointed in me. I don't want him to cry for me when I'm not in this world anymore.

I'm sorry, Ara, I'm letting you down again. I'm sorry to hurt you.

　

　

***

　

　

I smiled at my niece who was fast asleep in the baby box. Tomorrow, it's only been a week. As Zahra said, man can only plan. But God determines. I thought I was gonna die on the operating table. Won't open your eyes forever. Won't see my niece's face for the first time. But in fact .. I smiled. God still loves me by giving me the hope of life once again.

I glanced at a couple not far away sitting from me. Gosh darn. I turned the eyeballs watching Elias and Purnama. They really make me jealous. They make out in front of me as if I in this room were just an invisible creature. Damnit.

“Something seems to envy us, dear,” Elias said chuckling amusedly as he kissed a glimpse of the full lips, then walked towards me. Pushing my wheelchair towards the living room. Keep me away from my sweet niece. Aih saw how cute their baby was, making me want to have children too.

“Yes, God, Ed. You're really mean to Purnama. Little sister period as beautiful as Purnama is not said to be the same Ara.” Elias punched me lightly on the shoulder. When I introduced Zahra to Purnama a week ago—after operation—Zahra looked surprised.

I'm hissing. “This I did to protect both of you. Wasn't that time I was a fugitive for the police. I don't want Purnama or Ara to be your target.”

Elias stroked her clumsy. “So yes.” He laughed and made me laugh.

“Mbak Ara's ex-girlfriend Sister isn't she?” tanya Purnama while carrying the awakened Geoff. I just nodded in confirming.

“Why doesn't Brother reverse the same as Ma'am Ara? I see Ma'am Ara doesn't have a boyfriend yet. Uh looks like someone's coming.” Purnama rushed to the living room.

A few seconds later came the person we were talking about. Zahra smiled awkwardly while carrying a fruit basket in her hand. I smiled back at him. Yep. This is my future wife. Makmumku. The future mother of my children. Zahratul Hafshah's.

　

EXPIRE

　

Huft, finally finished Edgar's special part with Zahra. Continue to season two. Get ready to come to the convent of Edgar with Zahra in season two. Meet Elias the same Purnama.

Don't forget guys, beautiful & handsome brothers, sisters who emes 😍, love first let the spirit write the story 🤗😉, okay 👍.

See you in the next chapter of 🤗💜.