I'M Sorry To Hurt You [Last]

FORTY TWO

“Operation for me?” edgar's weak voice filled the entire apartment room. His face looked even more pale, and it became more successful and made me even more anxious to see him.

“Iya, Brother. Elias said at Mount Sinai Medical Center hospital, in New York, there was a spinal cord surgery for lupus like Kak.” Purnama explained exactly what I said to him this afternoon.

I nodded confirming the moment Purnama looked at me. Before returning to Beijing, I gave Dr. Edgar's disease history documents. Katy. The doctor who handles my vocal cords. Then Katy's doctor suggested that I consult with her best friend who is both a doctor. Albert's doctor treats lupus. According to the diagnosis; because Edgar's lupus disease has been implicated into leukemia, then he suggested Edgar immediately perform spinal cord grafting surgery, to treat his leukemia first.

“Lalu Purnama... after Brother in spinal cord surgery. Then there will be other operations. It would hurt my body. Sister's disease has been very severe, so many complications that bind it.” Edgar let out a heavy sigh, looking at me and Purnama in turn.

Purnama shook his head. Edgar's hand and held it tightly. “Kakak .. only by that way Big Brother can be cured. We treated his leukemia first. Then the disease can be cured. During this time the disease lupus sister has begun to improve. Huks, Purnama Mohoh, Kak.”

I threw my face the other way hearing my wife's sobs. My heart really can't bear to see it, crying bitterly because of his loved ones.

“Purnama, don't cry. You're pregnant bes---”

“So Edgar don't think about my situation. At present.the condition of the Brother is the most important.”

“Listen to Purnama, Brother doesn't want surgery. The result will remain the same. Better like this. After all, the disease is already very severe.”

“Kakak..don't say that. Brother must be healed. I'll continue to take care of Brother. Huks ..”

Momentary silence. Only a purnama-sounding sobbing filled the room. I exhaled a short breath.  Then look at Edgar. “But, Ed. Even if it's bad, if God wills. No matter how bad the disease can be cured. We can't be pessimistic,” I said in a raucous voice. Although my heart trembled and was filled, it was not as loud as what I had brought out from the cleft of my lips.

I also have experienced a pessimistic life. When I was declared mute and my body was temporarily paralyzed when I wanted to see my wife. However, it was because of my wife that I rediscovered my spirit. For the sake of Purnama and the baby in her womb it made me eager to pass my test. And I hope Edgar does too. I hope he finds his life spirit back. At least for the sake of his sister Purnama, he had to survive.

I watched Edgar. He smiled weakly and gently rubbed the tops of the Full Moon's head. His black and dim eyes looked at me for a moment, then moved from this room to his room. Without saying a word.

I exhaled a short breath. I just kept quiet and lowered my head. Staring at my toes heard the sobs of Full Moon that filled the room and suddenly became very stuffy without air. Stuffy. It is very painful for such a situation.

Can't bear to hear him cry. Shred my wife's body into my arms. Patting his back.

“Sst! Don't cry anymore, honey. We try to persuade Edgar again, until he wants to,” I whispered raucously.

“But--this is all your fault, El. Suppose -” Purnama does not continue his speech. Get out of my arms. His iris was emitting anger. She hit me in the chest for a moment and left me alone in the room.

Slow down my chest. I grimaced. This is the vengeance I deserve for my revenge. Until whenever Purnama will continue to mistake. Every act has its karma. Now.I'm picking up the results.

　

　

***

　

　

I stared at the night sky in the city of Beijing on the balcony of the main room of the apartment. It's been a week since Purnama and I have been here. His attitude is still the same to me, still a bit angry. Although not very angry. He still answers me when I ask.

“Elias.”

I'm turning. Edgar patted my shoulder. “Edgar, why are you here? There's too much wind here. How-”

“Not to worry so, El.” Edgar cut my words, holding my hand that had stood. I just took a short breath and stroked the nape. “We haven't talked together in a long time like this. Sit back,” he continued, ordering me to sit next to him. He patted the empty chair where I was sitting.

“Thank you,”.

“Same-sama, Ed.” I returned Edgar's smile no less wide.

Long silence struck both of us. I myself, confused what to say. Are you trying to persuade him back?

“Ed, about operation..” I paused my sentence for a moment. Sipping my saliva, my iris turned to stare down on the crowded streets creeping in rush hour, time for workers to go home from work. I glanced at my watch, showing the number nine at night.

Then I resumed my words, “Actually I've been planning that operation for a long time, Ed. Before I went back to Beijing, I had your files transferred to the hospital in New York, and they suggested surgery. Just waiting for the date for the operation,” obviously I'm back. Wish Edgar would listen to me this time, and agree to surgery.

“But I suggested the operation after Purnama gave birth here. Yes, while waiting for the right operating schedule from the hospital.” I shrugged my shoulders.

Samar I heard Edgar sigh. She stuck my thick coat on her body. “Elias, you always worry about me and Purnama, then what about yourself? I'm really grateful to have a very understanding sister-in-law like you.”

Down head. I don't know why Edgar's compliment felt so hard on my heart. It's too late when it finally gets this way. Edgar's sick. If it wasn't my selfish nature, it's possible that Edgar's disease could still be cured, and treated as early as possible.

“Because of you too, I'm not too anxious to leave Purnama alone in this world.”

“Edgar, please don't say that. I'm sure you'll be healed. As the full moon said. You don't see how excited and happy Purnama is when she finds out you're going to be operated on,” my love. All the regrets and self-blame were on my chest. Yawning just like that when you hear my sister-in-law's complaints.

“Ed, you have a future. You're getting married. Have many children. There will be a woman who loves you very much later,”, I said again encouraging him.

Edgar shook his head. “No, El. I could feel my pain to where it was, feeling my body able to endure to where it was. There will be no woman in my life.”

I fell silent, unable to deny all his words. All I have to do is be his loyal listener now.

Edgar grabbed my hand, squeezing both of my cold hands together. I closed my eyes, counting in my heart. Then opening my eyes again, this time I stared at his dim brown iris.

“Elias, promise to always be on the side of Purnama, keeping it always.”

“Don't worry about that, Ed. I promised myself. Will always take care and love her always.”

“Thank God. What about your voice? Has it improved? You often train your voice according to the doctor's advice, right? Have you explained your reason to Purnama that you couldn't see him for two months because you were in a coma and recovered your voice?” Suddenly Edgar asked me in succession.

I take a short breath. I shook my head in lethargy. Until now I have not told everything to Purnama. I'm afraid he'll be in shock. And impact on its content.

“Not yet,” I replied honestly. “I'm afraid she's in shock to hear that during this month I'm in a coma, affecting my body's paralysis and my voice is temporarily mute. Right now I'm still doing outpatient-” treatment

My words stopped immediately when I heard the sound of falling objects. My heart is beating fast. I turned to look at the balcony door of the room. Could it be the full moon? If he is... did he hear my conversation with Edgar earlier? I held my breath for a moment. We looked at each other. My heart was racing uncontrollably.

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Don't forget guys, beautiful & handsome brothers, sisters who emes 😍, love first let the spirit write the story 🤗😉, okay 👍.

See you in the next chapter of 🤗💜.