I'm Not Taking It Again

Mamma

Every day Dirga always thought of his mother. Especially Kenan who always asks when they will meet Septi. Kenan really could not bear to see his wife every night.

A rough gasp of breath came out from Dirga's mouth that was leaning her body on her big chair with her eyes closed.

"Did Papah allow it?"

That's what Dirga feared. He knows how his father is. However, he also did not want to see his sister continue to grieve. Not only was she sad, Dirga felt the same way when her mother was no longer with her. He wants his family to be as whole as ever. There was no crying and only happiness.

"I've forgiven Mamah, I'm also sure that Nindy has forgiven Mamah too. We d

longing, Mamah," muttered Dirga very softly. It is undeniable that his sense of regret is very large to Septi.

Like there's a connection between Dirga and Septi. He who was active in the field was silent for a moment. He remembered his son. His son's voice seemed to be close to him. Septi is looking for his first son. He hoped Dirga would visit him. But there's nobody.

"You miss you, son. Mamah misses Nindy too," Septi shrewdly lowered his head.

Septi was only embarrassed if his son visited him often. He felt that he did not deserve to be treated that way by Dirga. She was just an evil mother, a mother who almost plundered her son for treasure.

"I'm sorry Mommy, Dirga. Mamah is evil as you are your wife, too" he said.

For Septi, Dirga was still his son. Apart Dirga was not born from her womb. Septi loved Dirga very sincerely as well as Dirga.

It is not only Dirga and Septi who have a heart connection. Nindy who was holding Arshen was like hearing his mother's voice. A voice that he had never heard again after his mama went into the bars. The voice he missed so much.

"Ndy, miss Mamah." His mind speaks very softly. His carefree face had now turned into a wistful.

There is a longing that cannot be expressed. There was a longing that only Nindy could keep alone. He just didn't want others to see his fragility. He didn't want anyone else to go to him. He wants to look strong, in fact his heart knows without formalin.

Many times Niar has often lured Nindy about her mother. But Nindy refused to answer. He chose to sit down or play with Arshen. There was a lot of weight that Nindy carried on her shoulders. Ingi it seems Niar urged his sister-in-law. But that's not his capacity. She didn't want Nindy to hate her. Let Nindy talk to her herself. Releasing the burden he carries with sincerity not with coercion.

Back to Dirga's office. He's still weighing. His heart was still worried because he was afraid of hurting or offending his father. Dirga loves Deri very much. He did not want to see his father angry or sad. Until now he has not been able to make Deri happy. A kind person raised him as a child. The one who gives sincere affection to him.

"Sir, until when? I feel sorry for my wife" said Kenan. Dirga was quite surprised by what Kenan said. Moreover, his mind that was wandering here and there. Dirga was still unmoved, not a single word broke out of his mouth. Kenan should be able to understand his boss. This problem is not easy, especially when it comes to heart and family problems. Very sensitive stuff.

Even at home, Dirga still thinks about his mother. He did not dare to face his father. Dirga's face looks different, not as usual. Niar who saw her husband Seperi's face could only exhale violently. She's confused about having to report Nindy or not. He continued to weigh in and in the end he opened his voice.

"Nindy looked moody. It seems like he is thinking of Mamah again," Niar said with a very careful speech.

Dirga's heart would hurt when he heard his sister grieved. Nindy is the sister she loves very much. He would do anything for Nindy's happiness as he promised as a child. He will take care of Nindy and protect Nindy including from prolonged sadness.

"Quickly talk to Papah, Pih," Niar said. Niar's hand was already holding Dirga's hand. She also looked at her husband with loving eyes. "Whatever Papah's decision we must appreciate. We must not force, the important thing is that we have tried" said Niar. Dirga nodded in understanding. He had to mentally brace himself to face his papa tomorrow. He also could not hold everything anymore.

Today, Dirga plans to talk to her father about her mother as well as Nindy. He was no longer able to hold it, he also felt sorry for the brother who continued to bathe in tears, if he remembered the mother. Although Nindy did not show, the closest person would definitely feel a strangeness in Nindy. Children who look cheerful, but save a lot of suffering.

"Mamih, tonight Papih came home a little late, yes. Papih wants to go to Papah's house first," said Dirga, interrupted chewing his food.

"Do you want to talk about Mom?"

Dirga nodded slowly. His wife already knows everything, this is also on the advice of Niar especially a few days yesterday papah in-laws look very lonely and choose to play with Arshen.

"Yes, greetings to Papah, yes."

Niar hopes that his papa's heart is not as hard as a rock and can allow Nindy to meet her mother. Let Nindy first meet Septi. After everything was done and again improved, it was Niar's turn to meet Septi with Arshen. Her mother-in-law must be very happy. Arshen was the first grandchild for Septi.

After work, Dirga immediately went to the papah's house. Nindy slightly frowned when she saw the presence of her brother in front of the house.

"Tumben, where's Niar?" nindy asked, after opening the door. Niarlah who Nindy asked because usually the brother will not come to the house of Deri alone.

"He's at home. Home from work Brother came straight here," he replied. Nindu just nodded his head slowly.

Dirga looking for the figure of the papa, but the father is not there. Nindy knows whose brother she's looking for. It is impossible to find her husband. Kenan hasn't come home yet.

"Fast hour Papah in the workspace. Go on," said Nindy. He also left his brother. Dirga a little doubt, his papa workspace is very privacy. Can he come in? That's doubt.

Dirga's footsteps led him to the papah's office. Before he knocked on the spatial door, he let out a rough sigh first. Then, just then he knocked on the door of the room, there was a voice telling him from inside. Dirga's hand pressed the doorknob of her papa workroom. Seen it

Deri, who was focusing on the precious sheets, straightened her head in a soft direction and it turned out that the son was already in his study. His forehead slightly shriveled at the arrival of the son. Dirga does not usually come to his house without telling first.

"Where is Papah's grandson?" This is how Deri is now. Not the child being asked, but the grandchild.

Dirga did not reply, he began to approach his father and sat down before him. Deri's forehead slightly shriveled to see the behavior of the child.

"What's wrong?" sergeant Deri.

Dirga took a deep breath first before she opened her voice. He looked at Deri. Long Dirga did not answer making Deri sigh long.

"What's up, Ga? Your arrival here must have a purpose and purpose, right," Seri.

Dirga is not a person who likes to talk alone with his father, unless there is an important need.

"This is a matter of mama, Pah," Dirga replied with great caution.

Her face began to change. Deri was silent like a statue. Seeing the look of Deri's face like this makes Dirga's heart start to be unfaithful. He was afraid that his father would be angry. Dirga's words did not reply at all. His heart was beating very fast.

The momentary state of silence. No one opens their voice. He did not dare to look at his father's face. He was afraid that his face would be angry. Dirga was still waiting for an answer from Deri in silence, while Deri was waiting for Dirga to continue his speech. They just wait for each other.

Eventually, Dirga reopened her voice. "Honestly, Pah, I often meet with Mamah," said Dirga.

Deri's eyes widened to hear the words of Dirga, he was a little distrustful of what was said by Dirga. However, the look in Dirga's eyes did not show a lie. Septi was thrown into prison by Dirga and Dirga still found Septi there. How could?

"I can't see Mamah suffering, Pah. My wife has forgiven Mama, too" he continued. Teri was shocked by what her son said. However, he still showed an ordinary expression.

"Not long-winded. Go straight to the core," concluded Deri with a flat gaze.

"I want Nindy to meet Mamah. I know, Nindy misses you too much. No matter how bad you are, she is our mother, Pah. A woman who loves me very sincerely. The woman who had fought between life and death to give birth to Nindy. Nindy was just disappointed, not resentful of Mamah. Just like Mamah who misses Nindy so much" he explained.

Deri just fell silent, she thought her two children already hated Septi. In fact it's not like that. There's relief in Deri's heart.

"Bah, I beg ... I just want to see that Nindy is not sad anymore" Dirga pleaded with eyes full of pleading.

In Deri's little heart she felt so grateful that her two children had an airy heart to forgive her mother. He did not expect that his son-in-law would easily forgive Septi. Deri was surrounded by a wingless angel, his two sons and his son-in-law.

"Every night, Nindy always cried because she missed Mamah. Especially when he married, lying if his heart did not cry hard," added Dirga again. Deri was still silent for a long time and Dirga did not dare to urge her father. Dirga thinks that Deri is still angry with Septi and does not allow him to meet Septi.

"When are you going to meet Nindy?"

Dirga's eyes widened perfectly hearing Deri's words. Dirga who thought his papa would be angry even the opposite. He was very surprised by what Deri said. Dirga just fell silent. He was afraid it was just his hallucination.

"When are you going to take Nindy?" ask Deri again.

Dirga is still silent. He did not believe what his father had said. Dirga clucked in annoyance. He threw the pen towards Dirga's body until Dirga jumped a little.

"Pah-pah's not kidding, is he?" sergeant Dirga. He was afraid that his father would give him false hope. He was already very enthusiastic.

"Since when do you like to joke?" reply Deri with a sharp look.

Deri was the one that Suak did not joke around when there were people who spoke seriously to him. However, Dirga still felt fear and doubt.

"Is Papah right to allow it? Why so easily?" That's howupon.

Deri looks very upset when she sees her son back in silence and stupefied.

"When did you and Nindy meet your Mom?" asked Deri with a look in the eyes asking for an answer.

"Fastly," answered Dirga.

Dirga wanted to know the response from his father. It turned out that the father nodded slowly with a smile. Dirga's heart was relieved.

"Send Papah's greetings to Mamah." Dirga nodded with eyes that had already run. His heart is so happy. There was no rejection or difficult negotiation with the father. This time, Dirga could only nod. If, he was not ashamed to want it to feel like he was crying in front of his father.

Once everything is done and permission has been obtained. He came home with a very happy heart. He thought it would be difficult to negotiate with his father. In fact, his father didn't mind everything. The happy Haru Dirga felt. He really did not expect.

When he arrived home, Dirga immediately embraced the wife's body with tears. Niar was very surprised by the words of his husband.

"Why is Papih crying?" ask Niar. "If Papah doesn't get rid of us later

another attempt." Niar has rubbed Dirga's back gently. However, Dirga still sobbed. The issue is getting louder. Niar felt very sorry for Dirga, all he could do was hug Dirga's body and strengthen her.

Dirga soon unraveled his embrace and smiled at his beloved wife.

"Father of ngijinin."

A sentence that made Niar smile widely. He had bad thoughts that his father-in-law would refuse Niar's request. But, everything is wrong. Happy Rona can't be hidden. Now, he hugged Dirga's body tightly.

"The father even looks very happy," he continued. Niar's smile grew wider.

"Alhamdulillah. Mamih was scared first, afraid Papah was angry with our plan." Dirga. He returned tightly to the wife's embrace.

"Thank you, I'm sorry Mamah," said Dirga sincerely.

"No need to thank me. Humans should forgive each other. God is forgiving" he said. Dirga smiled at the words of his beloved wife.

"

"Mamih Sudan forgave Mamah from before Arshen was born. Mamih remembers Mother's words, when going to give birth eliminate everything. All hate and revenge. Mamih must learn to forgive everyone else's mistakes, so that the Arshen path is born smoothly."

Dirga is growing more affectionate and in love with his wife. He always obeyed his mother's orders while they were for her own good. Niar is a very obedient child. Never to disobey the mother. Niar held fast that heaven was under the soles of the mother's feet.

"The wean is very lucky to have a wife like Mamih." Warm kiss Dirga gives on Niar's forehead. Niar just salat smile.

At the Deri residence, the middle-aged man smiled sweetly. His heart felt greatly relieved, which he was afraid turned out to be untrue. Their children do not hate their mothers. Only a sense of disappointment slowly disappeared. Now, they miss their mother. Women who have cared for them since they were children. Both of Deri's children are extraordinary children, able to forgive the mother's mistakes sincerely.

"Everybody makes mistakes, Pah. I've forgiven Mamah's mistake. My wife forgave Mama too. Don't always look at someone on the bad side. The bad side is always remembered, but the good that was once engraved is never remembered. Don't be like that, Pah. Good people have a past and bad people have a future."

Dirga's explanation made Deri's heart truly happy. The son he loved was very mature. The son he always took to the office to be a gossip of other employees is now his proud son. Although, Dirga was not his flesh blood. It was from his upbringing that Dirga grew into a great child. Deri was very proud of her first son.

The boy he found in a cardboard box not far from his house. A child who has turned blue from cold. A child who brings much sustenance to him. There's no reason for Deri not to love Dirga. Dirga is the reason to rise from every slump that exists. Dirga is a source of energy for him.

"Pa-pah."

That word is still Deri until now. The child who can crawl can already call him Papah. In fact, he taught Dirga to call him Papih, but little Dirga instead called him Papah. The taste of haru mixed happily into one.

"Thank you, Son. You have always been the solder of all in Papah's heart. You are the gift of God that God entrusted to Papah. Without you, Papah's life wouldn't be like this. Without you, Papah's company wouldn't be this big. Thank you, Dirga Anggara," said Deri in a trembling voice. He spoke by looking at the picture of the son smiling happily on his wedding day with Niar.

"Papah is also sure, Mamah Septi really loves you sincerely."

Deri always prayed that Septi would be fine there. Even though they were no longer together, there were children who would tie the two of them up again.