Grizzled

Episode 49's

The atmosphere in the room was quite quiet. I was too underworked to have to draw obscure images on the dusty floor while the Eagle busied himself training his martial skills. We are still stuck in a cubicle with this mode of absolute impenetrable defense. There's not much we can do.

“When I was a child I also often draw like this,” comments Sakti crouched next to me. He also doesn't know what to do.

“It's dad, mom, me, and Sekti. Such a whole family I wanted, but the truth is that my parents rejected Sekti. We are talking about that dark story! Never mind, you have heard of it from Sekti yourself ‘kan?” kata Sakti's.

“I have also heard of it from others, with different versions,” I replied glancing at the Eagle who was still fighting with empty air.

“Oh yes? From whom? Eagle?”

I nodded to justify Sakti's guess, “The inability to meet the demands of parents always leads to discrimination, ending jealousy to the brother of the family who is more proud. I believe that the Eagle is your descendant. The old story repeated to the Eagle and his brother,” I replied.

“Wah, really? But Eagle is not stuck on the same sin ‘kan?”

“I think, anyway, no. Only the attempted murder of a small child with a rusty knife, but the Eagle already believes that it is indeed a mistake that makes it worthy of sacrifice in this place.”

“Ah, it is much different from what Sekti does. He shouldn't have to feel that way.”

“Sakti, I think we believe the same thing. Everyone deserves forgiveness, just as eager when he makes a mistake ‘kan?” ask me to look at the room sky that is still reddish, as if looking for the answer to my question there.

“There must be penance. That's what they believe,” Sakti replied.

“It shouldn't be just the Eagle who needs to feel that way. I also had a mistake and was late to realize it. I think I deserve to be sacrificed here,” I replied softly. This simple picture of four people who look like my family brings sweet-bitter memories. I had the warmth of home and old people, but when happiness was tested I could not sustain anything. I still remember that day, when my father asked me if he had separated from my mother, an answer that should not have come out of my mouth.

“I don't care! Mom and Dad are both grown up and understand better than a kid like me! If I wanted you to stay, you wouldn't really stay! You're not gonna hear me! Do whatever it is up to you and let me do whatever it takes. I don't care and don't care about me anymore!”

I covered my ears, it was too scary to hear my own words ringing again. I have never known my will, expressed a wrong will. After that, everything became more unclear. Mom and Dad were away without any clarity of status. It seems more confusing and torturous. They had to pretend like everything was fine in front of Maurin, worried that my sister was injured like me while there was a huge gulf between the two. I saw that gap and got fed up with the way they were fixing things. Since then all I have in my head is not caring and not caring! If they want to separate, just split up!

However, I recently realized that it was not my will. Obviously, if Father and Mother also understood, it was not my will. All my indifference should be understood as a form of protest, but the guilty are still the ones who cannot express their wishes properly. If I had cried so much while holding firmly their hands they would have collapsed and would not have left. Unfortunately, it is too late. My consciousness came just as I was preoccupied with my life, just as the worst omens appeared before me. Mom's return must have brought some news and my premonition grew worse when she claimed to be working at Mr.'s place. Lee's.

“No word too late, Shira,” said Sakti who automatically understood my thoughts earlier. I got a little embarrassed because Sakti knew about it.

“I'm also trying to fix my mistake to date. If I had been quick to realize the secluded Sect, I might still have had time to prevent hatred from entering his heart. We are equally portrayed guilt, both white and black souls. Maybe that's why we are both locked up here .. and it feels unfair if only black souls are sacrificed,” Sakti replied.

“Nah, right ‘kan? It would be wrong if only one of them died. The possibility I think there are two. Me and the Eagle must both be sacrificed or equally liberated,” I replied.

“But the fact that the couple of lost souls who were both killed indicates their death did not end this world entity. There was only the increase in the power of black magic. I just felt it lately,” Sakti said.

“Then I became more confident fighting for my freedom and the Eagle. I'll make the Eagle believe it too,” my answer is determined to win my little game with that stubborn guy.

“From the beginning I always asked you to believe in the good you believe in, Shira.”

“Eh, no! I'm not good or anything, but as you say, both white and black souls have sinned. So, the two should be punished together, atoned for their sins together, and also forgiven together!”

“Other times convey it to the Eagle so that he understands.”

“Ah, I don't know! Amidst the sudden debate I felt mute and couldn't say anything I should. Well, I used to be!”

“But could this be just my feeling? The eagle keeps its distance from us. All he did was continue to practice,” said Sakti noticed the Eagle in the distance. The room we occupied seemed to be a school hall, feeling spacious and relieved.

“Maybe he felt sad after saying the no-no yesterday,” I replied remembering that the Eagle had regretted his attitude.

“Not only with me, but also with you, Shira. Did you guys fight?” tanya Sakti's.

“Wah, always! No day without something we argue about! That's why you don't have to worry, there's nothing too serious about our quarrel!” my answer.

“You tried to control the situation with the competition you created huh, Shira?” tanya Sakti finally understood what was happening between me and the Eagle. There is nothing I can hide from Sakti.

“Yes, I try to avoid insignificant debates that are a waste of energy. All this time I and the Eagle still had different opinions. So I hope that with the competition and the new deal we can have one point of view, whoever the winner will be,”.

“Haai, Lang! Rest first! There is no water to drink here. It would be terrible if you got dehydrated!” exclaim Sakti to the Eagle who finally fell on his back to catch his breath. Tuh ‘kan! Real achievement! Sakti and I approached him but the Eagle woke up soon. It is still with its talk-irrit program. I don't really understand. This nice little rivalry shouldn't have made the situation between us awkward.

The light that lines the walls of the room is still glittering. Do not know until when we will continue to be cooped up while the countdown to the third full moon is not ‘kan long. Sekti got the clues that the Eagle believes from each element in this place. If only they could whisper something to me. About the gaps of light that we can no longer investigate. If only.

 ****

The presence of other people at the dinner table really feels different. Ah, actually having breakfast before seven on Saturday alone is very strange. My sister and I didn't eat before homework was done, so I just cooked up at nine after everything was done. But this time it was completely different.

“You can add if you want! Come on, I'm surprised you guys ate too little. Maurin is skinny dry. Brother never forced you to eat much huh? Come on, Shira herself too!” said Mom adding to our meal. I prevented him from adding more to my plate.

The dining table was back empty, only the clinking of plates and spoons could be heard. Mother still put on a normal look as if nothing happened while her sudden return clearly indicated there would be something. Code Maurin, I'd like to talk to him later. Maybe he knows a little. The war has been normal since yesterday. He is as quiet as I am, but can be very chatty when something is unusual. He obviously knew and hasn't told me. Exorbitant!

After breakfast I go to the supermarket. Maurin also came out, wanted to print the task he said. Good, get out there you guys! I'll find out! I operated on my sister's left-behind phone, checking on the last messages from Mom or Dad. There was no sign that he was told of Mom's return plans. Ah, Daddy! Do you know that Mom works at Mr. Lee's? I'd love to call her but I'm not. Remembering Dad had eyes and ears everywhere, I could deduce that he already knew. Goddamnit! Everyone already knows while I'm the only one left behind!

“Sorry, Brother, my phone is missing. My job is there,” said Maurin suddenly appeared to surprise me, “what are you looking for?”

“You know something?” I never want to talk about this issue.

“Something?”

I'm clucking, “Obviously you already know the reason for Mom's return! Any business he wants to finish ‘kan?! Since when do you like to play secrets with me?!”

Maurin took his phone out of my hand while smiling mockingly, “Wah, doesn't Big Brother care?”

“Oke, thank you! I'll find out for myself!” I replied that I did not want to extend the conversation.

“What's up? Is he starting to worry? That means right, I am indeed stronger than Big Brother. I've never been a fake like you, who verbally said no matter but fragile on the inside. Alright, happy searching!”

I was surprised that the boy who was five years younger than me could slap me completely with just his words. The next incident I easily guessed. It's true that there's business I want to finish here. Either it was because of Mr.'s interference. Lee or not, obviously I saw there was a divorce papers in the map on the mother's room table. The next possible series of events swirled around in my head. Mom and Dad are officially divorced. I remember the last time my dad called me. He was silent when I asked Mom to come back. Yes, my request is too impossible since mom has already prepared all of this.

There's a new milk tavern opening near the square.

I put on my jacket and went out. After a long walk there, the location I was headed was still closed with a picture of a cow mascot in front of the door attached to the writing of the delay is not the store until the next week. Refraining from cursing, I kicked the pebble in front of me. Why was the delay info not announced on social media?! With my bare hands I turned away. Towards any direction, I prefer to walk even though the online ojek service is mushrooming. I don't know how long I've been walking but I didn't get home soon enough, only to realize I was heading in the wrong direction. Heh, what am I thinking?! Luckily the carefree water point that fell from the sky immediately comforted me. It's engrossed! I haven't rained in a long time!

I intend to linger on the road, enjoy the cold water flushed the head. I just remembered coming home after I started sneezing. A muddy trail was created on the floor of the terrace, directly inside when I entered the house. I faintly heard mother and Maurin talk.

“Cannot be contacted!”

“Well, hayo, Brother stop by! Be quick to search while not far away!”

“Who taught him to stay like this? Mom doesn't want her to inherit dad's bad nature!”

“Yeah, not self-conscious! Had mother immediately told sister first definitely would not have happened like this!”

“Mother worries about hurting her feelings.”

“Wah, unfortunately my own mother has hurt her feelings, hurt our feelings with the divorce plan. Don't worry, I did it!”

“Maurin ...”

Really, it wasn't me who taught my sister to talk like that. He's grown too cool. My sneezing voice interrupted the conversation of the two. Mother found me pecking in the living room with drops of water falling from the ends of my hair and skirt. Mom's look a little relieved.

“Why not bring an umbrella?” tanyakanya. I sneezed again.

“Yeah, is it because it's my turn to mop today Brother deliberately made a muck? Just trouble!” maurin.

“Let Mommy take care of it, Maurin,” answered the mother glared at the boy then told me to take a warm bath immediately. Maurin just sneered.

“Recipient from anywhere? If the phone is answered, dong!” said mother.

“No one calls, kok!” my answer.

“There! Shira bring mobile ‘kan?” mother asked immediately to make me fall into the pocket of a jacket. Seepage of water dripped from the slit of my phone case. The screen is dark even though I tried to activate it a few times. I only grinned when mom patted her head.

“Yes, Shira ...”

“Wah, fun! I'll have a new cell phone! Sister always knows how to spend money Mom!” chirps Maurin.

“You want to too? Here I throw your phone in the bathtub!” I replied then for a moment regretting this carelessness. If I remember having a cell phone in my pocket maybe I wouldn't rain. Although the new phone sounds fun, but the files about and photos of Yasinta disgrace on this phone have not had time to copy on the laptop.

Mom gave me some vitamins after the shower. Not an old song, my body immediately shivered after the rain. My nose that was starting to turn red looked bad.

“Already know want test, should not be weird!” said mommy helped dry my hair with a towel.

“Let me do it myself, Ma'am,” I replied trying to stay upright in the chair.

“Ti .. no, let me just,” replied Mother asking that I not move much.

I sighed, “Mom wants to make peace with me?”

“No, it is Shiralah who must make peace with Mother,” replied Mother forcing a smile.

“With the plan I prepared? Don't you know how I behave, I never want this family to split?”

“Yes, but Shira still has to be willing! Mom will build a new family better, not a messy one like now.”

“How can I build a new one better if it was previously left in a mess?!”

“Shira ..” Mother's voice sounds soft in my ears, also her warm arms embrace me, “Mother doesn't want you to grow up in the midst of this family's unpleasant situation, it should end with clarity ...”

“Should be repaired with affection! I want to be in the middle of a family like that!”

“Dad Lee could love you more than your own father,” replied Mother made me hold back an amused laugh. You dare to label the stranger's name with your frills? How laughable!

“If indeed the father of another loved me, he should never have taken my mother from me, from Maurin, and from my own father!” my dispute.

The mother who hugged me from behind could not see her face. Could he be upset by my answer? Getting angry? Disappointed? Crying out? I don't know, it's just his hand that's shaking on my shoulder, his hand that's trying to soften my heart that way.

“Sorry, I'm too stubborn, Mom,”. Long short pause had filled my throat, “I want to make peace with Mother.”

I heard a sigh of relief in my ear. My feet under the table poked open the half-closed room door. My hunch is right, Maurin eavesdropped on the conversation behind the door from earlier.

“I agree to whatever Mom's decision, but I also have to agree to whatever my decision and Maurin's,”.

“Toss!” maurin said it sounded like he was joking but he was serious.

“I will learn a lot from him by busying myself and not caring about anything that happens,”.

“Yes, because nothing hurts when we don't care!” keep Maurin.

“This is still our same desire, we do not want to be dragged to the father or mother. Let us be free to go our own way, exactly as father and mother do.”

Mother is still touched. My brother and I feel right. We are just a reflection of our parents. We just act as an example.

.Seriate.