Grizzled

Episode 37's

Rainwater is brought in by the wind. I was still shaking next to the window, my head on the table. The bowl of noodles next to me that steamed five minutes ago I've grounded the contents. Half-past ten in the evening, if it wasn't dark I would've been dancing crazy out there under the rain. I miss the sensation of falling water from the sky flashing my head, flowing away carrying all the dizzy.

Ah, at least the matter was over by noon with nothing to worry about anymore. Danil's incision didn't cut his pulse. The nurse needs to work hard to stop the bleeding that badly, but I heard she'll get better soon. School got him a one-week suspension and an extra sentence from me. I asked her to write whatever she felt, at least one page every day for a week. He should know how to vent his frustration towards the situation properly. There's no guarantee that my way will help, but it's clear that someone feels more relieved after their feelings are read.

I hold my head when my phone vibrates. The message for the Eagle ten minutes ago was just answered. I downloaded a file containing the translation of the ancient book after thanking him. There's a lot I want to explore starting today. Daily notes I took to doodle.

For a while I focused my attention on the information of the light gap. Through it I can get out of the gray world. Sekti notes that the gap is active twice in its sixty-year cycle. Active first when sucking in lost and active souls second to open a way out. Since the information regarding the way out was still very minimal as none of the souls made it through, then I was more interested in finding out why the gap opened. Why must I and the Eagle be sucked in there?

I pulled my memory back two months ago. What did I do before the first night to get lost in the gray world? I also checked the diary to confirm the details of the activities I did. Unfortunately, eight weeks ago my record was a mess. There were no details or interesting events I could write about. There are only random streaks of trigonometric questions and financial plans. Dah, nothing to do with it at all! More precisely, since these eight weeks I have rarely touched my diary and left it empty or messy.

How strange it is when I ask others to write while I myself rarely write or read my own feelings. Too messy to remember.

I put my head on the table again, closed my eyes. These eight weeks of events I won't be able to rewrite overnight, but it's too dear not to keep. I opened my eyes again intending to check the study journal. Unfortunately, I was no longer sitting at the front desk of my bedroom window. The dark sky and open space welcomed my view.

Eh? I must have fallen asleep and been sucked into this world. I have no intention of going to sleep, but I have! I spread my eyes around, realizing that I was in the back parking lot. This area is far from the room complex so there is minimal lighting. Not far from where I stand there is a back gate. The black atmosphere that emanated was as dense as the one I had seen at the front gate. A memory of a terrible event immediately flashed in my head. If this gate is identical to the front gate, then it could be ...

“Graaaaaaaaaaaa!!”

... Could be this is the same monster nest! Hurriedly I got out of the way, running along the corridor of the tenth grade MIPA without daring to look back. Debum's step behind me is enough to signal that there are monsters chasing. I hope he doesn't see me turn up the stairs, but I forget that even if the monster doesn't see, he can still hear my footsteps. My movements slowed down as I climbed the stairs while the monsters behind me were unaffected, miraculously climbing the stairs unhindered despite having legs shorter than me.

There was a hand that appeared behind the door of the room pulling me inside, saving me at just the right moment. While I was unprepared for the pull it fell into a dusty floor. The person who pulled me up was now fighting back to close the door, the hassles of getting rid of the monster hand that had already broken through grabbing inside. I immediately went to pick up the pieces of wood, banging on the stocky hand. The monster out there roared even louder, pulling back his hand. Me and the person next to me both breathed a sigh of relief.

“So it's almost there, Lang! Thank you for helping me in time,”. The eagle nodded while still leaning against the door of the room.

“Yes, I'm glad you're a little smart tonight,” the answer sounds poignant. I mean I wasn't smart before? I was just about to reward him for his disrespectful words but the door of the room shook with the power of monsters from outside. I hurriedly leaned against the door, hoping that the durability of this room would increase.

Moments later the monster outside roared and left.

“Yang is right? Isn't it usual that the monster is stubborn, will continue to break down when it knows its prey is here?” I said as I peered through the gap in the door, making sure things were outside. No doubt, the monster is gone.

“If my guess is correct, maybe Sakti is trying to distract him. He'll be here soon. We better not let our guard down and keep guarding the door,” replied the Eagle. I nodded in agreement.

“Is there any new information regarding the light gap?” ask me not to waste a chance. As long as it is calm, I want to talk about a lot of things.

“Unfortunately there is no. Discussion of the gap I can no longer find in the following pages, but I hope the features mentioned in the book will lead us to the real gap of light,” replied the Eagle.

“Ah, right, features huh? I read some. As the name implies, the slit of light is the only luminous object in this world,” timpalku.

“Yes, and if the incident in the gymnast was indeed a flashback to the appearance of the light gap six hundred years ago, then the clue matches what I saw before it slipped and fainted,” Reply Eagle.

“Oh yes? What are you looking at?”

“It's impossible you don't know, Shir. You remained conscious throughout that flashback and were in the middle of a hexagon.”-shaped light formation

“True, I was surrounded by streaks of light on the ground but didn't know for sure the patterns drawn. That time was exactly when ..” My words suddenly hung in the air.

There's no way I'm telling you about the event when Eagle's blood activated another complicated light pattern that made me swallow that portal of light even more. He will believe more and more that he must be sacrificed. No, it goes against what I believe!

“Just when what?” ask Eagle.

“When ... when I ...”

“Just as my blood hits the ground, the light where you stand gets brighter, almost sending you back to our home world. Unfortunately you refused the pledge to let me die in this place and leave that gap. Right ‘kan?” the Eagle knew it all.

“What now can you read minds like Sakti did?” I turn my face away.

“No, the story is already in the ancient book. I already know,” he replied, “it is clearly written there, Shir, but it seems you still maintain your immunity. It feels useless even though I gave the translation of the book if you still reject the truth written there.”

“You just believe it, Lang? The author of the note did not even dare to guarantee the truth. I don't mean to doubt at all, but any information needs to be understood as thoroughly as possible. Especially if it goes against my feelings from the beginning.”

“Yeah, you are still discussing your feelings which .. ah, I dare not call it. You will obviously be hurt by the reality that has happened because you trust your feelings too much.”

“This time I dare to believe because Sekti himself at the beginning of my meeting said that I will avoid all the deceit of this world!”

“Ah, I don't understand which part of it you call deceit, but maybe Sekti's words have a point. A white soul like you is indeed worthy of being spared from danger, but a black soul like me does not and should indeed end here.”

“Please stop talking about that incomprehensible white-black! I don't even understand why I have to be white while you are black when our situation is very different compared to the story of Sakti and Sekti!”

The eagle paused for a moment to then say, “Different? Basically the same, Shir. I'll make you understand, even if you're finally sorry you knew me, but that's okay. That is how it should be.”

“What do you mean?!”

“I told you not to get involved with me anymore. You never know how damned I am. Just like Sekti, I was once exposed to a sin that made me worthy of ending up in as bad a place. It's worth it for a man who once intended to be a killer like me.”

I'm stunned. The eagle is not serious.

The Eagle's words sounded empty, a blank look as if he was no longer next to me, lost deep in his dark memory.

“I used to hate Garuda much worse. Papa fostered envy and resentment in my heart diligently, encouraging me to be greater than my brother, when after all, I who is younger than Garuda will not be able to be at the same level of achievement. Until whenever Garudah who remains the most genius while I am just a crybaby child who can not take advantage of heartache and frustration to develop better. The hatred in my heart grew when Garuda did not acknowledge me as his opponent. It was a grave humiliation because it was seen from everywhere, I was nothing compared to him. Regret ...”

The eagle lowered his gaze as low as he could, but my position next to it made me still be able to clearly see the line of his jaw that was getting hardened.

“That night when I sneaked into Garuda's room, he fell asleep at the study table with books strewn around him. Garuda's hand circled a gift watch from papa after he was accepted at a top university so mocked me. I who can't even get into the top ten in the class can probably only dream of having it. That night I suddenly hated my own weak and cowardly self. Though I could forcibly snatch the watch from his hand, I could forcibly snatch all the attention and affection he could get. I can take it .. only if Garuda disappears from the world. That's what came to my head, Shira.”

“Imagine my thirteen-year-old self has such a cursed lust! With a pencil razor on his study table I almost scratched Garuda's hand, but he woke up first and blocked my hand holding a razor stick to his skin. I'm the one who died that second, I was caught off guard and it'll be over when he reports to papa, but do you know what Garuda is doing next? With his sleepy face he fixed my razor position right above his pulse while saying, ‘my brother sucked and didn't even know how to kill properly. You should learn better!’ so said ..”

I didn't hear wrong. The voice of the Eagle shook. His chest was seen up and down trying to neutralize the emotions that invaded him because remembering the event, the same emotional attack that occurred last afternoon when he was challenged to kill Danil. It makes sense that he could be tempted to be faced with a knife and a kill order.

“ ... Shame and anger hit me at the same time. That damn Garuda never considered me an enemy because .. because he looked at me as a sister, even when I intended to finish him off. Likewise with the days after, Garuda actually prepared a scenario so that I avoid the terror of papa by staying with him. I'm getting annoyed to realize that up until whenever I can't win from such a person!”

“Now you know ‘kan, Shir? Stop thinking that I'm a good boy. That cursed lust and hatred had long been lingering within me. Maybe what Danil said was right, my efforts on the watchdog team hunting bad boys are very inappropriate when I have a bigger sin record..”

“Close your mouth!” my words completely silenced him, could not stand the words that were increasingly slurred. All I see now is a look of despair and defeat from the Eagle's eyes. It was unusual, it was weird, and it was just as horrible. He cannot win against his past. Just like Danil, the Eagle also wanted to be released.

“What is inappropriate?! There's no inappropriate kindness, Lang! No matter how dark your past, kindness is good. If indeed you feel so damned, consider it as your penance! So please ... don't stop enforcing the truth as much as you do because it's too cool to pass up!” my words involuntarily made the Eagle straighten his head again.

“So far I still have an understanding with Sakti. Any crime deserves forgiveness, just like you ever gave a second chance to those bad boys. Please stop despairing and believe yourself worthy of punishment before seeking forgiveness ..”

There was a comfortable pause of silence before I said my next words. I hope the Eagle understands.

“ ... Oh yeah, one more. Maybe you feel like you deserve to be positioned as a black soul because of your past, but I don't deserve to be in the position of a white soul just because I want you to survive this place. It's clear from anywhere, I'm not as good as you know. I'm lazy, apathetic, weak, and troublesome. I don't do much good to my friends, I ignore the little brother I should have noticed, I left my parents when I was supposed to unite them! If you want to know, there is a series of sins that I will not finish mentioning until we wake up,” I replied. The daytime sky in the meeting room was red, soft and warm, but my heart felt otherwise. There are always regrets and feelings of weakness when remembering past mistakes. Especially if it feels like you may not have time to fix it.

“However you are much better than me, Lang. You feel guilty and immediately realize it, feel afraid and willing to sacrifice your life to make up for it, while I do a lot of wrong but just don't care. I should be the one in that black soul position, not you.”

Our confession was interrupted with a bang on the door of the room. I who had taken off my touch back to support him. The eagle did the same. Too bad, cracks began to crack on the wooden board we were holding. One more blow and this door will ....

“Composed, Shir!”

Right after the Eagle's words earlier this door board was split because the crack was hit by a monster in one hit. One piece of the collapsed board hit me immediately I threw it on the monster's face. The eagle hurriedly pulled my hand, getting away from the place. We were close to reaching the stairs at the end of the corridor when the monster's footsteps felt right behind us. Someone from the ceiling of the building appeared hanging around attacking the monster abruptly, hitting it right on the head. Then without giving the Sekti incarnation monster a chance to counterattack, it launched its next attack, slamming the monster into the courtyard downstairs.

“Sakti!” I was happy, but he ignored me and jumped from the second floor, continuing to beat the monsters down there.

“Let's just thank you,” said Eagle pulled my hand again and came back running, the “monster could teleport and appear again in front of us despite being banished to the furthest place. Sakti won't stop holding back its attacks while we're not safe.”

True also his words. Luckily biological laboratory rooms can be entered. We immediately closed the wooden board at the door, supporting it to stay upright. Both me and the Eagle still both catch their breath when the roar of the monsters outside rang out loud accompanied by the sound of commotion.

“Maybe this is just my feeling? Sakti is getting brutal facing that monster!” I said peeking out of the doorway hoping to get a little picture of the fight out there. Unfortunately the position of the lab booth that was on the second floor while the twins were fighting in the lower courtyard left me unable to see anything but the dark night sky outside.

“As long as Sakti beats him no problem, he said. He forbade me from fighting with the monster and told me to protect you,” replied the Eagle.

“Yes, because it will be a problem if you get battered again, Lang!”

“Especially you who are without defense like this, very risky left to roam alone!”

“Letting you two fend for yourself is also something risky for now,” said the purple firefly batch that started to show its true form. The white-blossomed figure smiled warmly, “because you guys managed to survive so far, I will also be more serious to protect you.”

“Since you were serious about protecting us, Sakti,” reply.

“I don't want to be praised, Shira, but as you know yourself, the monster is getting fiercer. I don't want you to end before the third full moon .. and I'm sure you won't end that easily,” Sakti replied.

“Oh, of course,” replied the confident Eagle, “I already don't care about who to sacrifice or who deserves to escape this place. It has been agreed that our priority is to find a common light gap no matter how it ends.”

I was stunned by the words of the Eagle. Unknowingly my smile expanded. Can't remember when the deal was made, I think since the Eagle declared it just now. I have no intention of refusing anyway. It is good that the eagle understands!

“Yes, this is indeed not the time to retreat!” sakti is happy. I saw the scar still on his neck.

“Have your injuries improved somewhat?” my many.

“Oh? This it? Yes, it's closed. My healing technique is this limited, the scar can not immediately disappear,” answered Sakti.

“If you may know how you got such a terrible wound yesterday?” ask Eagle. I was surprised he was curious too. Ah, who wouldn't be curious considering the gaping torn wound on Sakti's neck yesterday?

“Oh, that .. but promise yes you should not be afraid,” Sakti said slightly whispered. Suddenly I remembered something he said yesterday, we have a guest!

“Devil the creator of this place .. yesterday I had faced him and was rewarded with a cut on the neck,” Sakti still consistently whispered, “dia bothered to come here because she started to be curious about the two of you!"

I held my breath to hear Sakti's words. Please, no need to be curious about us! Enough of the world of his creation is troublesome, the devil does not follow!

.Seriate.