Finding My Lost Heart

Chapter 21 Shortness in the Chest.

 “Love to God is the height of love. The love is love for one another. Give up your love because of your Lord and withdraw your love because of your Lord, you will not be disappointed.”

****

Adam came home to find Inayah asleep in a chair. Seeing Inayah slumbering, Adam could not bear to wake Inayah. Adam sat at Inayah's side staring at the woman's soft skin, black eyebrows, withered eyelashes.

"Subhanallah. God created a Sholeh woman like you Inayah. I'm a stupid man who will never get an apology from you" Adam said.

"What should I do, Inayah. I already love you. Ii'm sorry. I've hurt you."

Adam raised Inayah's body. The half-conscious Inayah saw Adam. Inayah smiled and put her hands around Adam's neck and buried her face in the midwife's chest belonging to her beloved husband.

"You awake?" ask Adam who kept lifting Inayah's body until they reached their room. With the plan of Inayah's body was lowered by Adam.

"Why not wake me up" said Inayah who held Adam's body until Adam's position continued to bend the roar of breath the two exchanged.

"I saw you so sound. Sorry to keep you waiting," said at the end. Deep in regret in Adam's heart.

Adam looked at Inayah. Adam's body acted. A sad night with a piercing wind entered through the cracks of the window. The walls are just a witness to play.

"Why, Mas?" there is a disappointed in Inayah. "Why did you stop, Mom. I'm ready in everything. I'm ready

live with you, Mommy. Until death do us part."

"I'm sorry, Inayah," that's all Adam's lips said that disappointed Inayah.

He kept silent and turned his back to Adam.

"I'm sorry, Inayah," said the next Adam staring at Inayah's back.

Wanted to take Inayah, but Adam's hand was unable. Adam felt so guilty for hurting his woman. Adam did not know. Adam is ready to explain when Inayah will ask one day.

He chose silence. 'If your partner is angry, then you should calm down. Because when one of them is fire, the other must be water that can dampen the anger.'

"Oh my God, is this what it feels like to be disappointed?" Inayah tries to stay calm and firm even though the chest feels tight. Admittedly, it hurts a lot.

Inayah felt ashamed of herself as if she had received a rejection that was quite heart and soul.

***

"Dad!" Aditia woke up from her dream. It turned out that he was sound in his sleep and saw that the clock was already noon.

Aditia also rose up and took ablution water to perform the prayer of Zuhr. During Aditia's migration, she never left the five prayers. Even prayers a third of the night Aditia do regularly.

Let the prayer be said even if the word cannot be revealed. In his prayer Aditia leaves a prayer for Inayah to be happy with her new life.

aditia's phone rang and Hanum's mother called her son and asked Aditia for news.

"Son, when are you coming back? Don't you miss Mom? I want to introduce you to someone."

"Mother, I'm tired of hearing every day that you tease me about it." Aditia did not understand what the mother of the baby actually saw in her.

"Aditia, how long have you shut yourself down, son?" Hanum's mother was disappointed by Aditia's words.

"Mom, when the time comes, without you asking I will say. Please mom, don't torture me with Mom's request that I can't fulfill." Aditia looked at the baby's mother behind the scenes.

"We'd better discuss the other mother.how Alina lectures. Is still as lazy as ever.

"Alina is so close to Asifa," said Ms. Hanum, remembering that Alina and Inayah's half-sister were inseparable friends. Even every time Alina always visits Asifa's house just to play.

"Mayfa?" reset Aditia.

"Yes, Inayah's half-sister," replied Ms. Hanum calling Inayah's name with a face Aditia could not describe.

"Why does such a mother's face mention Inayah's name. Why, mom?"

"That's it. I don't want to discuss Inayah," Mother Hanum's face turned cold.

"What do you know about Inayah until your face looks dislike?"

Hanum's mother fell silent. The night of Adam's reception, Ms. Hanum did not expect that the girl whom Adam married, Aditia's Friend, was the same Inayah. Likewise with Inayah, that night the two just did not believe each other.The unexpected meeting left a bad impression for Mother Hanum.

The night of Adam and Inayah's reception, Ms. Hanum could describe Inayah's face that night looking very happy. How Inayah's smiling face welcomed the guests present.

"Mother, what's wrong?" tanya Aditia saw the look on Hanum's mother's face behind the scenes.

"Mom is okay. Think about what you said before." Hanum's mother decides to call them.

Aditia stared at the screen of her cell phone.It did not feel like it had been a week since Adam left his city after deciding to go away from Inayah's life for a while. Until Aditia's heart can accept the reality.

***

Time has passed since the incident that night, Inayah tried to give up even though her heart was hurting. She values Adam as her husband.

Run the household with a spacious chest because Inayah believes her God still exists. God did not give him a test beyond his means.

'My heart calmed down knowing that what missed me would never be my destiny, and what was destined for me would never miss me.'

"Mas, breakfast is ready. Today I will visit my mother's house. Aba also asked me to come to the cottage." Adam had not yet had time to answer, thisah again continued his words, "No need to pick me up and do not worry about me."

"Dad, are you angry? I'm sorry."

"No Mas. It's busy, right. I get it."

"Let me drive you" Adam said.

Inayah nodded. Inayah does not want her household problems that are not well known by her family. He did not want to see his family disappointed. Let time answer everything clearly.

After preparing. Adam opened the car door for Inayah. However, before Inayah got in the car, Adam embraced her lovingly. As much as possible, Inayah held back her tears. He didn't think Adam would do that to him. Inayah had misjudged Adam's personality.

"It's all over, Mom."

Inayah also got in the car. After Inayah sat down well, Adam pin closed the car door then followed towards the steering wheel.

Sometimes Adam glanced at Inayah. Regrets that would not be able to bring things back. There are only two options for divorce or polygamy. Whether or not the father agrees.

He turned to the car window staring out. My suffering is a dark shadow to you, when loyalty becomes an excuse to reach out to me!

What is love if you do not understand each other. If selfishness arises, it is not love. One will never realize the depth of love until the moment of separation.

Inayah rubbed the clear grain that escaped just like that. "O Allah, you have tested my faith again."

Adam continued to feel guilty.It has been a few days, the two were silent after that night.The car stopped right in front of the gate of the Al-hikmah boarding school.

Before descending, Inayah grabbed her husband's hand and Adam kissed Inayah's forehead. Inayah received it with a smile even though the heart said otherwise and Adam cried out the destruction of Inayah's feelings now for his selfishness.

"Be careful on the road, Mas," said Inayah.

Adam nodded. Not yet Inayah closed the car door, a phone call back in on Adam's phone. Inayah just pretended not to know and chose to continue her steps.

"Ustazah's mother Inayah!" girang santri wati saw the arrival of Inayah that morning. They ran to welcome Inayah.

Inayah smiled to greet them. After that, Inayah turned to look at Adam who was still receiving the phone.

"Ustazah's mother?" call them to take Inayah's view.

"What Husna?"

"Ustazah's mother, surely can't believe hearing this good news?" husna said smiling happily.

"Tell Husna, what happened?"

"Mother ustazah, yesterday's Olympics, we were ranked one provincial level and we also got a lot of submissions of very interesting books to read. However, we don't know who the sender is."

"meaning? Is that a gift?" ask Inayah to clarify.

"No, but the books have arrived after we returned from yesterday's activities" said another santri.

"Lantas, does the head of the lodge know?" ask Inayah.

"We don't know clearly. However, he allowed us to arrange the books in the library. Maybe Ustazah's mom wants to see it?"

Inayah nodded and followed them towards the library. How surprised Inayah read who the sender of the book.

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