Feel Engineering

Enjoying Loss

Chapter 7 Enjoying Loss

Mother Aya

She moved quickly to the ICU room where her husband was being treated. In this condition, he really has to be strong and think clearly. Once there, doctors suggested that her husband be flown to Singapore for intensive care.

"Oh my God, what is this test?"

Aya's mother moved quickly, she contacted her two sons who were in Japan and Germany respectively. He could not leave Dea in this condition. Mama Dea has no family in Jakarta while her papa family is far away in Surabaya. Even though Aya's mother does not know them, Yudha and Winny's phone does not know where, Aya's mother really has to think quickly and act appropriately.

It was hard to see her husband leave without being accompanied by her in such a critical condition, but she continued to strengthen her heart and convince herself that her husband was a strong man and God certainly protected her. He really resigned to the gripper of life.

*****

In the morning, Dea felt her body shake.

"Dea, Dea.wake up baby, pray early morning!" Call Mother Aya with the face already covering her body.

His consciousness began to return, he knew what was happening to him. His tears poured out instantly, but he forced him to take ablution water. After dawn prayers, Dea approached the bodies of his parents. He didn't want to cry at the moment, he just wanted to be on his second side before they were completely out of sight.

Aunt Fira and Mother Aya continue to strengthen Dea. While om Bara was busy taking care of all the funeral preparations. Neighbors in the complex also crowded the house. Mama papa is a simple and friendly person, many citizens who convey grief and feel lost.

Dea was already unable to focus on anyone approaching her, strengthening her. It felt empty, lost, lonely and meaningless.

Not feeling her tears fall again, she cried without a sound. Occasionally he could not hold back a hiccup. His chest is tight, sick!

"So now Dea's a kara?" Dea's murmur was still caught in Aya's mother's ear. Making him pull Dea back into his arms.

"There's a mother, baby, you're not alone. There's a mother here, she'll never leave Dea." Mother Aya said steady.

"Ikhlas well son, you must be sincere and patient!"

*****

Mother Aya took me to her house when the funeral was over. As he promised, he really never left me when my hearing had caught the news that om Arga is currently being treated in Singapore. I haven't had the strength to ask you about Arga. I'm afraid, I won't be strong anymore if I have to get one more piece of sad news.

I entered the guest room that had been prepared for me, a therapeutic scent mounted on the nightstand gave off a soothing fragrance.

"You take a bath first well, mother also wants to take a shower, after that we eat. From last night you haven't eaten anything." I just remembered, the last time I touched a meal at recess was yesterday. My ass felt very weak.

After taking a shower, all the clothes were on the bed. I went back to the bathroom and got dressed. Mother Aya was waiting for me with two bowls of seaweed soup she put on the dressing table.

We ate together in silence. Actually the seaweed soup is very tasty and fresh, it's just that I completely lost my appetite.

"Om what, bun?" I asked finally to him, it does not feel calm if you do not know the health condition of om Arga.

"Alhamdulillah, om has passed the critical period, only until now still in a coma." Sutely answered.

I placed the bowl in my hand on the dressing table, as well as the mother, we held each other's hands, channeling energy and strength to be patient and sincerely accept the provisions that He had set.

"Dea does not papa mother stay, mother after her to go there." My words were reassuring but he nodded in disagreement.

"Now you are the priority of the mother, there is Caca and her brothers, InsyaaAllah om strong people, she will certainly be angry if you know the mother left Dea alone here."

I put my head on her thighs, I felt a gentle, loving swipe from her delicate hands. My tears fell again.

"Dea kangen mom, kangen papa."

"Ikhlas well dear, pray for their safety. You must be strong. Crying may, sadness may well, but you have to remember one thing, they don't need your tears, all they need is your prayers and your charity." Said he was full of love.

I woke up from his lap, my eyes looking at him with gratitude.

"Thank you, mother. Dea dear mother."

I hugged him tightly and replied no less tightly. He then broke our arms and wiped my tears with the back of his index finger.

"Udah, the future daughter-in-law of the mother should not cry anymore, the beauty is lost, can fail to become the mother's favorite ghost." Candanya stroked my shoulder hair.

"Ih, mother hell anyway, the future daughter-in-law of whatan, becanda mulu. Later be guaranteed angel, mother herself who loses, time can be an ugly daughter-in-law like Dea." I said spoiled and tagged him.

"Now you sleep, get enough rest. Okay!" He pulled a blanket over my body from my legs to my chest. I felt like a 5-year-old boy who was being persuaded to go to sleep immediately.

He gave me a kiss on my forehead, then turned off all the lights leaving one night light that was bright to accompany me to sleep tonight. He walked out of the room and closed the door slowly.

I tried to close my eyes, my head felt very heavy, the shadows on my face and papa continued to loom in the eye every time trying to close it. I bit my lower lip, holding back the urgent cry of wanting to explode.

I drowned my face on the pillow, let all the wounds and feelings of loss come crashing down. They left without a message, I lost them forever.

I'm just a weak human being, I really didn't expect it to be this fast left behind by my parents. I will never be ready to be abandoned by them, even when I am old I will definitely never be ready to be left like this.

I remember my two friends who were far away on another island, wanting to spill all my feelings on them, but I didn't want to disturb their concentration of learning.

Not all wounds must be shared, because everyone also has their own wounds that he wants to heal. Let me be selfish this time, let me enjoy my own loss, for today will make me much stronger in the future. I believe that.

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