Don't Take My Son

Who's That Woman? (2)

The POV Vania

It used to be that one of the reasons that made me not want to fall in love was the fear of heartache. During High School I experienced it. I once liked someone, fell for someone more precisely, my upperclassman, over me one year. His appearance is simple, his face is not too handsome but pleasing to the eye because his appearance is always clean and neat, and I know he comes from a simple family but he is notoriously smart, he is notoriously smart, he even went to high school because he got a scholarship. My school is a famous private school in Jakarta with an entrance fee and a monthly SPP that is quite high, maybe if not for the scholarship he will not go to school there because the cost is quite expensive. With the scholarship, he successfully graduated with the best grades in the school scope and the best grades to the third se DKI Jakarta.

Unfortunately I clapped my hands, but I thought he liked me too, because I knew he liked watching me, until I finally ventured to reveal that I liked him through my best friend, he said, of course I didn't dare to express myself out of shame, it was my best friend who helped me convey to her. But after he found out that I liked him he turned away from me, even he always avoided me when we would cross paths, whereas before we greeted each other when we met, sometimes shared discussions in the Community of Youth Scientific Works (KIR), I often consult to make articles to be published in mading or in school magazines. But after that, there were no more discussions, let alone consultations as he never appeared in the KIR community. And for a semester before her graduation I rarely saw her, she completely avoided me.

Of course I felt hurt, he was the man I first liked, arguably my first love but unfortunately even made my heart ache. I was disappointed, angry, embarrassed until I finally did not want to see him again. Since then I don't want to feel in love anymore, especially after I know I will be betrothed, I never once liked a man who tried to get close to me.

I agreed to my arranged marriage with Rafael the grandson of my grandfather's best friend without much consideration, because I think Rafael also accepted this matchmaking not because of force. I knew he was a good man, had met him several times even though he only greeted each other, he was from a good family, his father was famous for being generous, the relationship between families was so close because it was bound by business ties as well, that there was no reason for me to refuse it. My only goal is to make both my parents happy and my grandmother.

But it turns out that my good intentions led me to the sad state I once felt, I was rejected again by the man I loved. Why should I experience this when the seeds of love have sprouted in my heart. I opened my heart again to learn to love him because he was my future husband, I think even if the betrothed would be better if my marriage was based on love, even though I do not know whether Rafael loves me or not, I only have confidence, over time he will also learn to love me, so I asked after officially getting engaged not to rush to marriage.

But it turns out the reality is different from my belief, Rafael accepted this match by being forced, even he did not want to learn to love me, he said, I think because his character is cool I understand him that he never gives more attention to me, his attitude is cuek I consider ordinary, but it turns out he did not want to try to love me, I think, even now he wants to break off our engagement.

After Rafael's departure, I could only express my sadness by crying, my tears spilled after holding my chest tight, I could only cry until my tears were dry no longer coming out, but after that my heart was more relieved.

This is my fate, should I feel hurt again, rejected a second time by the man I love? What is my fault, what is my lack to feel the sweetness of love You do not allow it.

Right now I don't know what to do, the reason Rafael wanted to cancel the engagement made enough sense to me. He has to take responsibility for his past actions. I didn't think he had a child with the woman he loved, he was four years old, so that child was born when Rafael went to college in America, and Rafael didn't know? How could? So all this time the boy was born and lived without a father? Born outside of marriage? How does the mother of the child feel, conceiving the child and giving birth without the husband at her side?Didn't she hold Rafael accountable when she found out she was pregnant? Didn't Mami and Papi Rafael know that either? But it feels impossible.

I thought about asking Rafael's mom, did they know about Rafael's plans to cancel our engagement? Do they know about Rafael's son? They never told me anything about Rafael.

I'm taking my phone, I'm gonna call Rafael's mom, it's still not too late to call him. I need to know clearly what Rafael said before I make a decision, especially about his son and the mother of the child, if I need to know who his mother is, if necessary, the woman Rafael loved in his past. I also contacted Rafael's mother via WA call.

"Hello Aunt...sorry I called her at night, aunt is asleep? Sorry to interrupt."

" Aunty hasn't slept, baby, what's up, tumben night-night phone? You're okay, right?" Thank goodness Rafael's mom hasn't slept, so I didn't interrupt her break. I suspect he already knew that Rafael wanted to break off our engagement, from his voice he sounded so worried, let alone I called him at night.

"Aren't you working tomorrow? Do you have any plans to go back to Jakarta? Tomorrow happens to be an empty aunt's schedule from eleven o'clock."

"The plan is I want aunty leave, if aunty can be tomorrow morning I leave, eleven o'clock already in Jakarta." I better take a leave of absence, so that I can immediately solve this problem, work also surely my heart is not calm.

"Hmmm...kanya mending aunty who was there aja deh, kasian you will definitely return again right? Cape later, he'll have to work again tomorrow, take his leave how many days?" I'm sure Mami Rafael is worried about me, maybe he already knows that his son has said the cancellation of the engagement, he must have guessed what I wanted to talk to him about.

"Yes, the plan is later I return aunty, it's not good if the holidays are long, here again busy reporting the end of the month." Honestly answered.

"That's right.ya already tomorrow aunty to there, after the aunt show finished immediately departing, at least two hours deh aunt nyampe there."

"Well, I'm so troublesome auntie, sorry aunt." Frankly I feel bad so troublesome mami Rafael, actually I could have met mami Rafael just back home weekend, but I will not feel calm, I do not want to be sad I protracted, I do not want to, I need to be clear to be sure of my decision.

"Don't you love, all aunts looking at aunts, it's been a week more aunts have not met Rafael." So last weekend Rafael did not go back to Jakarta, but I asked Bang Andre, he said he came home, not in the mess. He must be with his son and the woman he loves. Remembering that my heart feels sore. But I have to be tough, I don't want people around me to know that I'm hurt.

"Vana....Vania...sayang, are you still there? You all right?" It turned out that I was daydreaming, until I didn't hear Mami Rafael's voice calling me.

"Oh yeah auntie, sorry.I'm so not good to bother aunty."

"Udah is okay, so tomorrow aunty directly to your mess well, later aunty tidakin if already nyampe the hospital."

"Good aunt, thank you, again sorry to be troublesome and sorry to disturb the nights. I'm closing, Auntie, good rest." I closed the phone connection, I was a little relieved, Mami Rafael has been kind to me, she also showed that she loves me, even though I was happy to get in-laws as good as Rafael's mom, he said, but it doesn't seem like it's going to come true. Ah I'm really pessimistic, my engagement relationship with Rafael seems untenable. I have to start letting it go even if I leave it to my parents. Yes, even though I have my own decisions, but as always the final decision I will follow the decision of my parents, because to me the happiness of my parents is everything to me.

I want this night to pass quickly, I want to get clarity from Mami Rafael immediately, I have to know the real story, I have to know who the woman is, I have to know who the woman is, if necessary I want to talk from heart to heart with him, so that if indeed I have to release Rafael I really sincerely take it off.

seriated