CURTAINS OF THE PAST

ADMISSION

That night returned as usual, Toni was still in her study until late at night. And when he returned to his room, he would only take a pillow to sleep on the Sofa. Such was the situation between them, continuing all the time without any talking to each other.

It was almost too late, Toni's eyes were difficult for her to close at that time. Many times he turned to look at Iffah who seemed to fall asleep very fast. He breathed heavily. For some reason with Iffah by his side, it was more painful for him.

Toni got up and stepped out of her room which led straight to the front balcony. There he sat contemplating, watching a box of cigarettes that he had long lived. Yeah, even since her daughter came into the world, Toni never touched that stuff again. But it was the first time since Milka was born.

That night maybe he had too badly held back his feelings. He pulled one cigarette out of it, and plucked a match to burn the tip of the cigarette.

“Antoni...” Seru Iffah who suddenly was beside him.

Toni was shocked as she stood facing Iffah and she did not continue with her intentions. “I-Iffah..” Toni looked nervous and embarrassed at the time.

“I've never seen you smoke before.” Reveal Iffah in a disappointed tone and eyes that began to look at her pelupuk.

“Past... Back then, I used to smoke.” He was getting nervous to see Iffah who was about to cry at that moment.

“And why did you stop it that time?” Iffah increasingly expressed disappointment at the answer from Toni who did not want to be heard at all.

Toni lowered her head, she herself did not even know with the answer. “And now why do you smoke?” Iffah asked again without wanting to linger waiting for Toni's answer. Because she basically did not want an answer about it from her husband.

“Do you feel disappointed lately to Him?” Toni looked back at Iffah with her face turning red. Iffah's question seemed to be able to guess his feelings.

“Didn't you want to know all the karma you feel to make up for all the mistakes in your past? Then why are you so unwilling to accept your destiny? Didn't you say, God only tests us by taking those we love, but God didn't take away our hope of rising? Didn't you say, He doesn't like us lamenting too late until we forget there's a bright future waiting for us?” Iffah endured the pain of each of his own words. He tried

again reminded Toni of what her husband had said, the first time her husband expressed love for her in the twilight garden.

Toni was stunned to hear Iffah's question after question which made her realize what she had been doing these few weeks.

“But what about you?” Toni asked softly while looking at Iffah and trying to trace the honesty in the eyes of Iffah.

“What's wrong with me, Antoni?” Iffah started sobbing. “I know, I had hurt your feelings on purpose. I forgot, unfortunately, God has forgotten me. He gave you as the best husband to replace Arjuna in my life. I know, I was in a state of caliphate at the time. But in fact, it was I who first fell in love before you noticed me.

Don't you remember that cold man who walked into the office the first time at that time, didn't even look at anything including me? He just stared blankly full of compulsion in front of him.

I was the first to find you, interested in you, to thump and hurt my own heart when I saw you.

I'm also a normal human being who makes mistakes at times, Antoni. Not a lie with my love for you even though I forgot the memory of that time. To this day I still feel it.” Toni let Iffah sob. He himself never even knew how to describe his own feelings when he heard Iffah's confession that looks honest from his eyes.

 “Then what kind of relationship are we in now? Do you not give opportunity to our hearts

who actually misses each other? I know that, we've been tortured lately because of our selfishness in maintaining our own prestige. But I also have the right to ask you how my heart is.

Meanwhile, Toni dropped a cigarette that she had been holding. She slowly approached, her heart was no longer helpless to see her tears welling up. He opened the sweater he was wearing and wrapped it around Iffah's body.

Slowly, Toni held Iffah to her chest tightly.

“Stop crying, if you don't want to see me cry anyway. Lately I look so crybaby in front of you.” Said Toni while gently rubbing Iffah's shoulder.

“I miss you..” Whisper Iffah in between her sobs. He got sobbed by her.

“What's so much?” Tanya Toni pulled Iffah's chin and turned her face towards her.

“You missed me a lot.” With a sweet lips.

Toni laughed at Iffah's behavior that could look like a child in front of her. “You know how much I miss you?” He frowned waiting for Iffah's answer.

“Know..., as much as your unwillingness to smoke that cigarette.” Iffah pointed to the cigarette that Toni had dropped before approaching her. “But you keep pushing it, just like you forced your heart to hide your longing feelings for me, right?” Tanya Iffah treaded the honesty that emanated in Toni's eyes that were still flushed.

Toni smiled and then nodded her head. He hugged Iffah again, and this time was greedy.

“So, we are already halal huh?” Whisper Iffah seduces her husband.

“Depends..” Reply Toni origin.

“Loh, how depends anyway?” Iffah released herself from her husband's arms.

“Hehe...” Toni grins and pulls Iffah back into her arms.

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