A Glimpse of Light For Raina

A drop of regret

The night was getting late, Raina was already asleep in her sleep along with a heart full of wounds and disappointment, and her tired face was so visible. The face that always plays as much as possible in the play that he and Satria are playing.

Little Al had slept quietly, that innocent face, that did not understand what problems his parents were facing. He could only smile even laugh, a smile that could always cover Raina's pain. Little Al is like an antidote to the pain Raina feels.

But not with Satria, his eyes reluctantly closed. Satria sat in a small chair facing directly towards Raina's bed. That way he can see the face of Raina and Al while asleep. He looked at the faces of the two people in turn, dazed by the guilt that was deep in his heart. Given the many wounds that he had inflicted on Raina, it was the heart of a woman who had clearly expected him to be a husband.

Satria rubbed her face roughly, then grabbed her own hair with both hands. After feeling content to hurt himself, Satria leaned against the wall of the room and then closed her eyes with both hands, she fell silent for a while thinking about what she should do for the sake of her relationship with Raina.

His eyes began to tighten, drowsiness began to dominate him. Slowly Satria shifted to the floor where she usually slept. Satria grabbed a pillow and then covered her head. I wish he could sleep well.

***********

Sayup-sayup heard the sound of Al blabbering, Satria opened her eyes slowly. Satria grabbed her cellphone lying not far from her sleep, she saw the clock on the screen her phone had shown at four in the morning. Satria rubbed her eyes and tried to get up from her sleep. Although his head still felt heavy, because only a few hours he was asleep, but he still tried to get up now and see Al who was unceasingly babbling.

Satria also saw Raina who had also woken up from her sleep.

"Eh, dad's son is up. What the hell is this handsome boy talking about?" Satria shifted up onto the bed and pinched the adorable cheeks of Al.

"He was up from three o'clock in the morning, Mas. Sorry yes, because Al's rant made Mas so wake up." said Raina.

"Yes, it's okay. It's also at this hour. Mas want to shower and pray dawn to mushola." said Satria.

"Ehm .. Yes, Mas." replied Raina.

"Rai, there's something Mas wants to tell you" said Satria, who was interspersed with the sound of the adzan reverberating and requiring her to immediately go to the bathroom to clean herself.

"Later after the prayer, Mas talked to you" said Satria before finally he actually went into the bathroom.

Raina just nodded her head and immediately switched back to accompany Al to play again.

About twenty minutes, Satria and Raina's two brothers had returned from the dawn prayer dimusholla which was located not far from home.

Satria went straight into the room, but she did not find Raina there. Only Al had fallen asleep. Satria changed her coke shirt with her work uniform. A few minutes later, Raina enters the room intending to call Satria for breakfast together. Because at home Raina used to eat breakfast in the morning blind.

"Mas ..." call Raina.

Satria who was sitting next to Al by playing the phone is now switched on Raina who is still standing on the doorstep.

"Eh, Deck. Why?" ask Satria.

"Let's have breakfast first. Raina made breakfast for Mas." replied Raina.

"Here first. Mas right, it was the same promise you will talk after Mas came home from the mosque" said Satria while patting the mattress for Raina to sit down.

Raina also according to Satria's words and now she has sat right beside Satria which is only two hands away.

"Mas's been thinking about it from last night. If we move out of this house and we just rent a house how?" ask Satria.

"Home rent? Why?" Raina asked Satria.

"Ehm, don't you want to try self-study? If we rent our own house, there's only three of us. You, Mas and Al, of course we can both learn more in building a household and also we can better understand and complement each other. And of course, it can make us both learn to love and love more. Don't you, you want to be like that?" Satria explains her reason for taking Raina out of her mother's house.

Raina fell silent and thought about giving Satria an answer.

"Ehm, Raina will come wherever she takes Raina. As long as it's for our good and as long as we're always three." Raina replied.

"Thank you. You want to obey with Mas." said Satria.

"Keep, about when do we move it?" ask Raina.

"Three more days payday. Wait for Mas payjian first we move, later Mas find a rented house close to Mas's workplace. It's okay, right?" satria replied and again asked Raina for her approval.

"It's okay, Mom. After all, it's still in one city." Raina replied with a smile.

"Once again, thank you. You want to follow the same Mas." said Satria.

Again Raina's words again slapped Satria.

"Sorry, Mom. Please give me time to convince my heart again. I'll stay here with you and Al. Until that time comes, for Mas to say the holy pledge again." said Satria while holding both hands Raina.

Raina was stunned when Satria clasped her hand, there was a warm feeling running through her. However, Raina immediately came to her senses and did not want to get too swept up in those feelings. He did not want to come back to be disappointed. For him, let everything go as it is and the feeling also flows properly.

Raina quickly pulled out her hand and moved from her seat.

"Come, breakfast. Mas's place of work is far from here, if the bad luck will be late, you know." said Raina who switched the conversation.

Raina first came out of her room leaving Satria who was still silent on the edge of the mattress.

*********

While in Santi's mother's residence, the middle-aged woman increasingly looks thin because of illness after Satria's passing. Fine lines are very visible in some parts of the body and also his face which increasingly shows itself is getting older.

Undeniably, he felt missed with his eldest son. Yet, again the selfishness of his heart covered everything. Although, not infrequently Satria visited him, but he seemed to close his forgiveness for the eldest son. And always ignore the presence of Satria.

"Well, why the hell, mamah lied to her own feelings? Actually mamah is kangen right, same brother Satria? Reconcile Mah, same heart Mamah himself in order to forgive brother Satria. When will you keep this up?" said Bara who that morning found his mother who was sitting in the gazebo behind his house.

"Never mention his name again. Mamah did not feel like she had a dissident child" said Santi's mother who still lied to her own heart.

"Terelah Mamah. Mamah right, best know the best for mamah and his children." said Bara who then left his own mama at the park.

Santi just smiled bitterly received a fairly spicy insinuation from his youngest child.

"Egoist. Yes, I am a selfish parent." he muttered in a trembling tone.

Her three children were no longer willing to listen to her talk. For the second time, he returned to the detention house where Awan was. At that time he again received rejection from his son, because he tried to influence the Cloud again.

In fact, his three sons loved him very much, but only he who had aggravated the situation that made his three children prefer to avoid him. Not only his children, his two brothers seemed to stay away from him when they knew what had happened.

The Flashback

It was a month after Satria came out of her mama's house, Pakde Suseno and Mother Eva tried to talk to her brother who was none other than Ibu Santi who was the birth mother of Satria to open her heart to Satria and also Raina.

"What do you expect now? Your own son, your flesh and blood, you will drive him away and you will not even acknowledge him as your son anymore. Where's your brain, Santi?" pakde Suseno's boyfriend to his sister.

"I don't have a son who's such a dissident, Mas." wrote Santi's mother.

"Eling Mbak, Eling (remember Mbak, remember) .. who you call the dissident, he saved your family name. Look at the struggle and the sacrifice. He's an adult, Ma'am. He has the right to determine his own life, without constantly being in your armpit, Ma'am." said Mother Eva.

"If you're just here to lecture me, mending doesn't have to come. My head added the mumet to be." ketus Santi's mother.

"Until when do you keep being stubborn like this? Remember, old age is old. They have grandchildren, they are still like children. If you don't change your selfish disposition like this, your children will move further away from you. You will regret it later." said Mr. Suseno.

"Yes, Kang. We have enough to tell the truth, but our presence is not considered here. We say goodbye, assalamualaikum." said Mother Eva and took Pakde Suseno away from the house.

Mother Eva and Pakde Suseno also came out of the house of Ms. Santi with mixed feelings. Along the way the two only beristighfar to dampen their anger.

The Flashback Of

Santi's mother remembered the words of her two brothers, without feeling clear hair had wet her cheeks. It felt tight filling his chest cavity.

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