The Young Wife's Rhyme
9. About Hana
I spent my last mouthful quickly. The food brought by Mas Daffa turned out to be Ma'am Hana's cooking, and it tasted really good. Reminds me of Umi's cooking.
Ma'am Hana still feels at home here, while Mas Daffa has left for his office. She said Ma'am Hana wants to stay here all day with me and want to familiarize herself.
I immediately cleaned my eating utensils and washed them all, as is my habit that can not be lost. This is why I told Mas Daffa that I did not need to find a housekeeper, because I was used to doing my own homework.
Finished with dishes and cutlery, I approached Mbak Hana who was sitting in the living room while reading the book calmly. Yes, even though I feel awkward, but I can't resist when Ma'am Hana says she wants to be close to me.
“Mbak Hana likes Chairil Anwar huh?” I asked when I saw the book that Ma'am Hana read, a book of poetry.
Ma'am Hana nodded and smiled, showing a verse of poetry marked with red markers. “My Lord, I'm missing form. My Lord, I travel in a foreign land. My Lord, at Your door I knock, I cannot turn.”
I listened carefully as he recited the marked poem. Come smile when Mbak Hana smiles at me deeply.
“That's my favorite verse as well as my favorite poem. With sentences that are light and easy to understand, but full of meaning. Poetry that has always been my strength when I was at my lowest point. That whatever my circumstances, whatever my problems, I should have gone out and entrusted all my business to God. Because of God, the only best place for us to return,” said Ms. Hana.
I nodded, agreeing with Ma'am Hana's words. I could see from the light of her face that Mama Hana was a servant who obeyed her Lord. From his polite speech and his way of treating everyone with courtesy, of course he will not be able to do it easily if he does not submit to the Power.
Ma'am Hana closed the book, now grabbed my hand to hold it tightly. With a cheering eye, he looked at me.
“There, I've heard everything from Mas Daffa. I represent Mas Daffa's family and apologize to you. If it wasn't for me not being able to love my husband's descendants, you wouldn't be stuck in this marriage.”
Hearing that, I cheated. I felt my heart throbbing and my eyes heating up.
“To be honest, as an ordinary woman with a narrow heart like me, I also do not want to be combined. I'm sure even you are the same. But I am well aware of my shortcomings. I cannot be selfish and force Mas Daffa to accept me like this. I know, although Mas Daffa always said it was okay even if he had to live alone with me, but deep down, he wanted to have children. One thing I'll never be able to give her.”
Mbak Hana seemed to hold her breath for a while, until the silence that took over
this middle atmosphere. The two sweets are glazed, the water contained in it is ready to spill at any time.
It was so broken, I could feel it.
It is not her desire as a woman to not be able to conceive a child. But sometimes, God's destiny no one can guess. The perfect marriage covered in happiness is now chaotic because of a sudden illness that took her womb cruelly. Makes her give up her heart and feelings to let her husband challenge other women.
It's not fair indeed.
“There, I only asked for one thing. That you can give Mas Daffa and his family one last wish to have a child. Maybe my request sounds cruel to someone who was forced into marriage as a second wife, but I really wanted help. I want to realize the great hope of Mas Daffa and his entire extended family. I beg you, Danisa.”
I can't say yes or no. Lying if now I don't hurt, because of course I think if they use me all out. But I also can not say no, seeing how desperate Mama Hana to beg me.
“I know this is hard for you too, Danisa. You must feel used now, right? I get it, really. I will not make you make quickly love Mas Daffa descendants, slowly whenever you are ready,” said Mbak Hana again saw me just bowed quietly. It seems he knows very well what I think.
“Quietly Ma'am, I've already sentin for this wedding ceremony. Means I should also be ready with all the risks in the future, including the matter of conceiving his son Mas Daffa. But I can't do it anytime soon. Honestly, I'm not ready,” I said in the end.
Ma'am Hana smiled faintly, stroking the back of my hand tenderly. “Thank you yes, Danisa.”
Life is funny. Who would have thought that I would easily agree to Hana's request, also accept this marriage. Life likes to joke. Blurring all my principles and expectations, replacing them with unique stories never thought of before.
After that emotionally draining conversation, Hana and I agreed not to talk about it anymore. We chatted lightly like friends afterwards. Until the time is suddenly approaching the afternoon and the sun is almost setting.
Maybe we will forget more time if Mas Daffa does not appear and interrupt the chat. It turned out that it was five o'clock more, it was appropriate that Mas Daffa had returned from the office.
“Udah afternoon, let's go home!” take Mas Daffa to Madam Hana, kiss her forehead affectionately. While I who saw it just turned away my face did not want to see their affection because honestly a little painful.
“You slept here tonight, Mas. You guys just got married three days and you haven't slept here at all,” said Mbak Hana made me kind of wide-eyed.
What the hell does this mean? Ma'am Hana asked Mas Daffa to sleep in this house, with me?
“But you are still sick dear, said doctor still need treatment.”
This time I really felt like a mosquito repellent. Only I don't understand what they're talking about.
“Mas, remember! You now have two wives, and you must be fair. Yesterday I was nemenin, so in the next week you should be here nemenin Danisa. I'm okay anyway, there's Mommy at home.”
I was stunned when Mbak Hana said it straightforwardly. Insist on telling Mas Daffa to stay here, and the funny thing is that Mas Daffa cannot refuse.
“I've contacted Mr. Danu make it here pick me up, so you don't need to stop. Later I ask Mr. Danu to make here again anterin clothes you make to the office so do not have to go back and forth to home.”
Ma'am Hana was insistent on asking Mas Daffa to stay, making me feel bad. Mas Daffa did not have time to protest when a middle-aged obedient man came in and greeted Ms. Hana. It looks like the father is their family driver named Pak Danu.
Hana's mom really said goodbye afterwards. Makes me now overwhelmed with anxiety because he was left alone with Mas Daffa until the atmosphere between us became awkward.
What am I supposed to do?
