The Young Wife's Rhyme

4. Real Reason

My head was throbbing with pain from crying all night. As a result, this morning both my eyes swelled so big and made it look terrible. I grimaced as I stared at my reflection behind the mirror. So horrible. There's no way I'm going to college in this condition.

I restored my long hair that was in a mess and blocked the view. Time still shows at three in the morning when I wake up. I get out of bed, at times like this I should bow down to Him more, asking for guidance.

I saw Umi who was in the prayer room when I came out of my room. Samar, I heard the cry of the woman who gave birth to me. Sounds very sad. Made me unconsciously move my legs closer to him.

“Umi,” call me slowly.

I can see Umi's a little jolted. Immediately finished his prayer and twisted his body to look at me. My heart throbbed again to see the face of Umi who was swollen with both eyes, not much different from me.

“Nisa, sorry Umi, Nak.”

Umi's cry broke again when she saw me. I don't know, seeing my messed up state, might make him feel guilty. Umi hugged me tightly and her tears grew louder as I returned her embrace.

Sorry Umi, I know Umi also does not want the situation to be like now. Sorry Umi, I'm too selfish. Not thinking about Umi and my sisters.

“Nisa, if you do not want to accept the application is okay, let Umi who talks well with Abi.” Umi took off her embrace, switched to cupping my cheek and wiped away the tears flowing there.

I don't want to get married this fast either, Umi.

I cried, thinking all night after hearing Ghina's story.

It is true that Abi and Umi will sacrifice me without thinking if I will agree with their decision. But when I think once more, if I don't want to accept the proposal, then I'm a selfish sister who doesn't think about her sisters.

“Nisa want Umi. God willing, Nisa will try to accept everything. Nisa doesn't want the sisters to be in trouble if Nisa refuses.”

The two Netra Umi widened when they heard my answer. He shook his head in disbelief, convincing myself that he was ready for all the risks.

No, Umi. I wasn't ready. But I had no choice but to obey.

“Maafin Umi, Nisa.” Umi took me back into her arms. Tearful and full of tears, making me cry again.

Oh God, strengthen me.

“Umi, Nisa want to see Abi. Nisa wants to talk to Abi.”

Umi nodded, stroking my hair and face gently. “Later if the sisters have left school we talk again.”

***

“Should Abi be honest from the beginning not just maksa Nisa without strong reason.”

I immediately attacked Abi as soon as I approached Abi and Umi this morning. It's not that I'm being disrespectful, it's just that I don't like making small talk.

Abi took a deep breath and breathed heavily. I know this is hard on Abi and Umi. It's just that they should have talked to me honestly.

“Nisa wants to hear from Abi, the real reason. Why did Abi force Nisa to accept the proposal without even wanting to know how Nisa felt?”

Abi. His two hands resting on the table with fingers interlocked, seemed to move uneasily. Similarly, the movement of his eyes that seemed to not want to look at me at all.

“Pak Darum is Abi's best friend, who is very meritorious in Abi's life, Nisa. He never left Abi in the worst of times, even when our family was almost bankrupt, Mr. Darum who helped Abi. The cost of your school, Ghina and Nurul, since you were in elementary school was also borne by him. Even the cost of college

I held my breath hearing everything that was sliding from Abi's mouth. Debt, huh? Despite hearing everything from Ghina, hearing it again still can not make my heart wound heal.

“Abi is afraid of Nisa, if Abi refuses her request, what about your sister's school. While you know for yourself, Abi shop has only started to pioneer again since the impact of the pandemic last year. Abi felt it was time for Abi to return the favor to him for all his kindness so far.”

I hiss slowly. “By sacrificing me?” I asked in a trembling tone, feeling like crying again.

“Sorry, Abi is wrong. Abi can't be a good father to you and your sisters. Abi just doesn't have another better choice, Nisa. Abi hope you will forgive Abi and accept her, for the sake of your sisters.”

Very amusing. This world is so funny.

The first daughter, like me, seemed to be charged with the obligation to sacrifice for her sisters. As if making my sisters happy was my responsibility as a sister. I am also a child who needs his own happiness.

Do I have the right to refuse?

It should be, but the heart of which brother is willing to let his sisters be troubled. Then a brother like me would be considered selfish if he did not want to sacrifice.

“Abi is sure if this wedding is good for you. Abi believes that Mr. Darum's son is good and can take care of you. His son is also a young businessman, and will definitely make your life prosperous.”

No. gabe. That's not what I'm looking for in a marriage. In fact, are abundant treasures able to provide true happiness?

I tried to strengthen my heart, convincing myself that my choice this time was not wrong. That it is okay for me to set aside my happiness for the sake of my sisters. That my sincerity will be rewarded a million times more.

Isn't God promising? That our sincerity will be replaced with the reward of heaven. That is why to cultivate a sense of sincerity is very difficult, and only airy-hearted people can do it.

O God, may You expand my heart so that I may sincerely accept all this.

“God willing, Nisa will accept the proposal. Nisa will try to go through everything with sincerity,” I said later, with a slight tremble.

I could see Abi breathing a sigh of relief and smiling faintly, as well as Umi. It's okay, what matters is that my family is happy.

“Thank you, Nisa. Forgive Abi if yesterday hurt your heart. Honestly, Abi is too upset and can not think clearly to be outrageous with you. Abi really sorry.”

I just shut up. I listened to Abi speak, only my mind was too complicated to think of an answer to Abi's apology. I'm busy thinking about how to live life after this.

Getting married young is not part of my life plan. Everything was too sudden, no

let me prepare myself.

“Nothing Nisa, getting married is also a worship. Each step will be a field of reward for savings to heaven. Gradually, you will also get used to it even though now you may feel not ready.” Umi said softly, grasping my hand channeling a sense of calm. “Umi will guide you to

later you can learn little by little, huh?”

I just nod. Well, I've decided that I must accept this fate.

Yes, even Sayyidina Ali Bin Abi Talib once said, that if it is your destiny, then it will come to you by itself.

Is this marriage my destiny?