The Young Wife's Rhyme

12. That Man's Smile

God, god,

I am guilty of not trusting You

I am guilty of blaming Your plan

God, god,

I know that this is an ordeal about my sincerity

I know I shouldn't complain

God, god,

You know this servant of yours groans in every bow

You know this self is not worthy to be an inhabitant of Your heaven

But God, though,

Thank you for sending such a man

Someone who wants to love me because of you

The person God willing wants me to love with all my heart

God, god,

Please take care of my man,

Also an extraordinary woman with sincerity that exceeds the magnitude of Mount Uhud

A woman with an airy heart that exceeds the vast Sahara desert

God, god,

Please take care of me and my heart,

So that I may still love those two figures because of You.

Danisa Ainun Mahya's

I smile incessantly at my notebook, which always bears witness to my heart's outpouring whenever I have a hard day or a happy day. The warm conversation this morning with Mas Daffa made my lips somehow unable to stop smiling.

I felt relieved, like one of the burdens on my shoulder was instantly lifted, making my body light.

“Teach me to be able to love you because of Allah.”

Mas Daffa's words rang in my mind. Makes my stomach tingle and my heart pounding. Ah, what the fuck? Why did I get to be like this in just a few days after getting married? I was very much against this marriage.

Then what happened after that?

Afterwards we laughed together, although there was a very noticeable awkwardness, which was seen on Mas Daffa's face. I don't know, maybe he realized that his words were too cheesy. Or maybe Hana's shadow comes back to haunt. I can't guess the expression on his face.

Then this day just passed, with us dodging each other, only meeting at the dinner table. Like now, if I was in the room, then Mas Daffa would rather spend time in the living room while reading his favorite philosophy book.

Actually I can't stand it if things are constantly awkward like this. But I don't know what to do to melt the atmosphere. I can't joke around with new people.

Busy brain-twisting thinking about the quiet state of the house, suddenly my phone rang. I smiled as soon as I saw Umi's name plastered on my phone screen. Ah, it's only been a few days but I've missed Umi.

“Assalamu’alaikum Umi.”

“Wa’alaikum greetings, dear. How are Umi's kids?”

“Nisa all right. Umi, Abi and sisters how?”

“Alhamdulillah everything here is good too.” Umi was silent for a while, for some reason I heard her tone slightly lethargic and mellow. What's wrong with him?

“Umi sure all right?” many ensure.

“Umi good really. Oh yeah, how's your husband? Umi has not had time to meet and chat directly. Is he good to you?”

I spontaneously gave a small nod, although I was sure that across the street Umi would not be able to see it. “OK Umi, alhamdulillah.”

I'm not sure if I should tell Umi the truth about Mas Daffa who already has a wife and I was made a second wife. I don't want Umi to be shocked and end up being a burden of the mind. He would be sad if he knew the truth.

“Nisa, actually someone wants Umi to talk to you, but it seems that you can not if on the phone. Can Nisa come here tomorrow? Or if Nisa is busy let Umi who is there, Nisa just send her address.”

I cringe. There is something as important as what until Umi asks to meet in person. Certainly if it is not a very important thing, surely Umi will prefer to talk by phone.

“What if Umi comes here? Take the sisters also because Nisa kangen. Later Nisa give address, Umi will take a taxi only so Nisa who paid if you have arrived here.”

“Yes already, later Umi who went there, but Umi can not bring your sisters first because we better talk together. Next time let Umi take your sisters, huh?”

I wondered what was going on until Umi didn't want my sisters to know about the matter. But I swallowed all those questions back for now. Let me ask you when Umi gets here.

“Then Umi closes her phone first, Umi has to prepare dinner. Nisa, if you have any difficulties or problems, please do not hold your own. You still have Umi with Abi, son.”

I smiled a little at the message from Umi who was always worried about me. “Iya Umi, pray Nisa is always good yes.”

“Umi close yes, assalamu’alaikum.”

“Wa’alaikum greetings, Umi.”

Just as I disconnected the phone, I heard the creaking of the open door. It turned out that Mas Daffa came in, he glanced at me for a moment but immediately threw away his face, either out of embarrassment or awkwardness.

I thinned my lips, feeling nervous because the atmosphere of the room became quiet and silent because of this awkwardness. I racked my brain, what should I say to melt this atmosphere.

Oh yeah, dinner. I remembered when I recalled the conversation with Umi a few minutes ago.

“Mas, what do you want to eat? Let me masakin,” bargain me for pleasantries.

Mas Daffa who was sitting on a springbed while playing mobile phone, glanced at it for a moment. He scratched the temple with his index tip to reduce his nervousness.

“I anything doyan, kok,” the answer is short.

I let out a long, heavy sigh, making Mas Daffa turn his head and now concentrate

atensinya.

“Why Danisa? Any problems?”

I nodded, immediately shaking quickly. “There's nothing, Mom. I'm just surprised, why Mas Daffa so formal always call yourself ‘saya’. I will be a bit clumsy if you want to talk,” I said release. Though actually I don't intend to protest the call, it's just that my mouth doesn't seem to have a brake.

I can't believe Mas Daffa just laughed. His eyes narrowed to form a crescent moon when both ends of his lips curved upwards. So sweet. I don't know why his laughter sounded crisp and soothing.

Eh, jesus! What do you think, Danisa!?

“Sorry yes, later I will try to say I let you not awkward. Accustomed to the problem of being able to work,” he said still with the rest of his laughter.

I've said before that Mas Daffa's smile and laughter contained a magnet. It can force anyone who sees it as if forced to smile, I am no exception.

I don't know when I started to like that smile and that laugh. It was as if her laughter was so melodious that it flowed beautifully in my spine. Also his calm smile made me realize that one of the strong charms of the man was in his smile.

Tonight I realized that I was getting hooked on her smile. That man's smile was extremely dangerous.