The Young Wife's Rhyme

20. First Kiss

I felt the heat start flowing down my cheeks as Mas Daffa let go of his embrace. Surely now my cheeks are like a circle of ripe tomatoes.

Ah, I'm so embarrassed.

I turned my face away, avoiding the gaze of Mas Daffa who suddenly cast a glance at me. An eye that somehow seemed to imply something that I still could not understand.

Of love? Amazed? Or lust?

I gasped at the various possible meanings of that gaze, especially the latter. Although my heart doubts it, yet somehow my bad thoughts are more inclined to believe it.

“Mas want dinner with what? Let me masakin later,” I said nervously. Although I tried to be ordinary, my voice was still trembling.

I pulled back my legs, trying to keep my distance from Mas Daffa. Afraid that he could hear my heart beating that completely crazy. Also to avoid his gaze that felt intimidating, not as gentle as usual.

I wondered, does Mas Daffa have two personalities? Why the look in his eyes is always changing, making me confused to guess what his true personality is.

“We will eat out later. You must be saturated at home constantly, right?”

I'm nodding. Of course, for a week I locked myself in a room like a depressed person who has no spirit of life.

I even feel strange about myself. Though I had thought carefully to ask Mas Daffa to divorce me. But now my heart is shaken again only because I feel that Mas Daffa apologized sincerely and tried to maintain this marriage.

Come to think of it, I am still unstable and completely immature. How can I easily say the word divorce? Doesn't God hate divorce even if it's not illegal to do it? Why don't I think I'm getting there?

Only the soft words that came from Mas Daffa's lips could calm my ego. That I will also take part at the end of the day as part of that man's responsibility to His Lord.

“Can?”

That low, heavy voice blew my daydream. I chuckled stiffly, realizing that I was daydreaming again. It seems that now, daydreaming will become a new habit for me who somehow always experience endless inner upheaval.

“Ya, why Mas?”

Mas Daffa flashed his sweet smile, ruining the top of my head that was not wrapped in hijab. Yes, now I have dared to appear without hijab and long clothes when with him.

“Do not mostly daydream, not good,” he said softly.

I chuckled small. “No, I just remembered that next week has started to go to college again,” I replied accordingly.

“How will you be with your friends? Did they know you were married?”

I'm shaking. Because as I recall, I did not invite any friends at the wedding. All the guests present were only close relatives and some close friends of Umi and Abi.

“Nobody knows, Mom. Maybe for now I can't tell them, honestly I'm not ready. I even got sick after bad talk from your friends, especially later if one campus knows.”

“Yes, it's okay. For a while, we hide your marriage status first, at least until you graduate,” said Mas Daffa calmly.

“Oh yes, where will you eat later?” let me shift my focus to something else. The thought of going to college with a status just now has exposed me to inner pressure.

Mas Daffa seemed to think, clucking a few times until I was confused to see his behavior. I patiently waited for his answer.

“Can,” call him again for the umpteenth time.

I don't know how many times today Mas Daffa said my name. Too often. It's not that I'm not happy, it's just that it feels weird and tickling every time he calls my name with a different tone and emotion.

Mas Daffa's gaze descended slowly, staring straight at my two neutrals. I blinked for a moment, feeling that the sight was too dangerous and could have swept me away.

“Can I kiss you?”

Eh?

My body stiffened at the question from Mas Daffa's mouth. Also when the man's hand was outstretched stroked the mane of my banner, tucked the bad-hair boy who had fallen off the back of my ear. His spontaneous behavior, no doubt made my blood rustle.

I suddenly stammered as I answered that question. I wanted to refuse because I was not ready, but my logic again said, that it should be as a wife, I was obliged to give my husband an inner living.

“M-mas..,”

My body was riveted, powerless to resist as Mas Daffa narrowed the distance between us. Moreover, his eyes suddenly turned savage, as if ready to pounce on me at any time.

How'this?

My brain nerves were dead and my body relaxed as a soft touch landed on my lips. I was wide-eyed, feeling a sensation of heat and crazy pounding that flowed through my every blood stream.

My body was completely stiff and immovable, I was silent when Mas Daffa's lips pressed against mine, as if trying to enter and venture deeper. As for me, I am an amateur, not knowing what to do in this situation.

Anyone, help me!

The gentle touch of it long ago turned increasingly aggressive. Mas Daffa's hand pulled my waist until my little body sank into his warm embrace, adding to the intense heat in the body.

My mind slowly turned blank. My sense of well-being seemed to run away and disappear somewhere, until this body and heart took over the situation. I closed my eyes, enjoying the strange sensations and the great thump that became even more crazy as Mas Daffa's lips explored mine.

Honestly, it's thrilling as well as opiate.

I felt a real sweet bubbling when Mas Daffa sipped my lower lip until it was hot. My hand involuntarily guerrillaized, gently touching my husband's field chest wrapped in a work shirt. Tracing her hardened chest muscles with my lentic fingertips.

I don't know. I don't know since when I've been good at this. This is the first time I have ever kissed the opposite sex. I just follow my body's wishes.

This is my first kiss. A kiss taken by my husband, but also the husband of another woman.

I don't know how much time we've spent channeling our passions. But when Mas Daffa removed his lips, I gasped.

My breath was hot and hunting. So is Mas Daffa. His handsome face was blushing, with his lips reddened by our kiss so sweeping.

I bowed in shame, hiding a red tinge that might now have filled both of my cheeks. I don't know if it feels dangerous like this. I want to do more, more and more.

I looked up, looking at my husband's strangely glowing and sexy face. Especially when the sweat droplets soaked his forehead which was tanned but emitted a calming radiance.

Lothawat!

How'this?

I was completely immersed in the charm of Daffa Hamizan Ghani. I want this guy. I want to do more with him.

Lothawat!

I think I'm starting to fall in love with him.