So My First Two Wives of Love

Loser

>>>Gibran POV<<<

"Let's get divorced, Gibran..."

Those words finally came out of his mouth, the mouth of the woman I loved a long time ago, whether from when, maybe my whole life.

"Jasmine, i..."

It's always been this way, it's always hard to express my feelings to her, whenever I'm too afraid of losing her.

Being a foolish man who constantly hurts her, I who was selfish didn't know how to say it properly if I loved her, to treat her gently so that she would last forever by my side.

Last night I had a dream, I met Ruby.

She smiled at me, sitting alone in a flower garden in her favorite yellow dress without letting me approach her.

"Gibran, you have to be happy now, no more guilt to me," that was the sentence he said before disappearing and I called him right then and there, I wanted to apologize to her because I could never love her, because I had hurt her so much but when I woke up, Jasmine was already in front of me, touched my face and kissed my lips and I called Ruby's name instead.

I knew I destroyed it once more, like when I snapped at him when I was too worried he would disappear from my life for good, like I was stupid for trying to make her jealous when I said maybe I liked Ruby because I was jealous to see her together with Juna, like before, all the things I did to her that always ended up hurting her.

"Gibrans..." Jasmine's grandmother touched my shoulder when Jasmine refused to touch me while my mama helped Jasmine stand up and hug her.

They sighed heavily, looking at me full of disappointment.

I was still silent at my place when the doctor came out, all of them except Juna went straight to the Doctor and asked about my little daughter's condition. The princess who always made me feel guilty when she looked at him for my negligence, because I never loved her mother even though I tried until we lost her all because of me but that doesn't mean I don't love her because Aurora is my life.

Juna then approached me, he extended his hand to me with a cold face but I ignored him while standing even though my body was limp as this pain tormented me.

"I was thinking of releasing Jasmine completely..." Juna's voice stopped me from entering the room where Aurora was being treated.

I turned to look intently at the man who had always been by Jasmine's side ever since my relationship with Jasmine had gone bad.

"Yesterday he told me he wasn't happy with you, but he said he felt too greedy because of you so I thought about letting it go but not right now."

The man said it resolutely, he expressed his wish easily to me without hesitation, if only I could express my feelings to Jasmine without hesitation like him. I feel like a loser now.

Juna stepped closer, he patted my shoulder and looked at me coldly. "I'll make sure this time Jasmine belongs to me." he said before stepping away from me.

I was angry, this anger was for myself for having wasted so many opportunities to get Jasmine back but I instead ignored her, acting like I didn't see her.

The opportunity came, I thought after last night that our relationship could finally go back to how it used to be but I messed things up, calling Ruby when I woke up when Jasmine was by my side.

After that I saw it destroyed, but I don't know how to fix it...

It was his heart that I broke...

I don't know how to fix it...

I then stepped into the room where Aurora was in the care, her tiny hands were fitted with infusion hoses, I could not imagine how much it hurt.

No one spoke as I approached, they looked at me with disappointed gazes that I could not stop while Jasmine, she just stared at Aurora without glancing at me in the slightest.

I approached carefully, the tightness in my chest suffocating me. My father's breath, which seemed to have grown tired of me, made me feel worse.

How much have I hurt you to the point that you look numb now, Jasmine?

I saw my father walking away from the room and followed up with my mother who took her grandmother Jasmine with him.

Now it's just me and Jasmine and our little daughter who are currently lying sick.

"Jasmine..." I called out to her, as gently as possible hoping that she would turn her head but she still ignored me but I still stepped up and hugged her even though Jasmine just sat quietly not reacting.

"Sorry, I'm sorry..." I don't expect Jasmine to forgive me so easily, I know too deeply I pierced her heart but I just want her not to give up on me...

To this loser...

Just like when I made her stay away first, when I came to her for not being able to hold back my longing for her any longer, I hoped that she would miss me the same and we made up like that time, like when I thought I had brought her back to walk by my side and fix everything, pulling the distance that previously separated us, I hoped that this hug could also draw the distance I had made myself.

But Jasmine remained silent, I then knelt down before her, touching her hands in trembling as I feared that my touch would again injure her.

"Jasmine, please give me another chance... I promise to fix everything, please give me a chance to love you properly this time..." I cried, I rested my head on her lap, I hoped that Jasmine would feel my regret for her as well as my immense love for her, it's too big that I can't deal with it and always make mistakes that end up hurting it.

"It's too late, Gibran. I'm too tired..."

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