So My First Two Wives of Love

Inner bond

It was as if my world was just spinning around on them. The universe always pulls me back to the past I've been struggling to leave behind.

Juna embraced me as soon as he realized me and Gibran were sharing a silent look. He took me through them without saying anything.

"Sorry Jasmine..." Ruby's voice stopped my steps.

"I'm sorry, Jasmine..." That voice sounded soft. It was so easy that my heart was filled with just one word of apology.

They hurt me so much but one word of apology instantly made me waver, is this what I've actually been waiting for all this time? To be able to truly let go of this wound, do I have to learn to forgive?

As my grandmother said, take everything for granted and my heart will never hurt again.

But is that fair?

Even if I refuse, I am still here. Sitting face to face with Ruby at the cafe located not far from the supermarket where we met.

It was just me and him...

Ruby, my sister...

I still can't accept it, until my heart continues to feel tight even though I don't cry, only that he who is now crying in front of me while expressing his regret makes me want to cry too.

Juna looked at me from a distance, he was sitting together with Gibran at a different table with me and Ruby.

If Ruby has regretted everything then why not Gibran? The man still looked so hard on the other end even when our eyes accidentally met, I still felt anger from the look in his eyes.

It was funny, he was the one who played me but he was also the one who was angry with me as if I had dumped him and disappeared from his life without excuse when he had thrown me first.

I let out a heavy sigh, it was enough that I looked at him. There was no point in me continuing to be trapped by her baseless anger.

"I don't have much time, if you just cry in front of me. I'm sorry, I have a more useful life than sitting here" I said without further ado.

Ruby who cried sobbing then tried to wipe her tears. "I'm sorry, because I'm pregnant, I'm more sensitive" she said, still having trouble stopping her tears.

 For a moment I thought she was showing off to me because she was pregnant with her son Gibran? He's showing off because his life is so perfect, isn't it?

I sighed and immediately got up, my patience could never be that much to deal with it.

"Jasmine you really don't want to forgive me? Not as a little sister, but as your old best friend?" ruby asked while blocking my wrist and preventing me from going near Juna.

"..." - ".I didn't answer, I didn't know this feeling was so hard for me to interpret. I don't want to be this close to her but I also can't express my rejection so easily.

"Jasmine, please... You said we're old enough, so I want this anger to end."

Ruby got up, I kept standing without being able to really leave just because she was holding my hand. Now Ruby even held my hands together and looked at me. "Please don't be angry anymore, I know I was selfish before, I was too selfish. Sorry, Jasmine... I love you, please don't be angry again..."

While crying, Ruby hugged me. She leaned her head on my shoulder and cried bitterly. My originally hardened heart slowly melted down along with my tears that I was no longer able to hold.

Why is the universe so happy to play tricks on me? It was as if the pain I had been holding onto was completely meaningless, as if the anger that had been suffocating me had never nearly killed me...

It's like I'm the bad one here for grasping all these wounds myself. So selfish for being tortured...

Wh why? Even this pain was not entirely mine because Ruby was crying as if she was grasping an equally large wound.

Ruby finally let go of her embrace, she then pointed my hand at her already enlarged belly. "So soon he's born, your nephew..."

My heart trembled, I felt Ruby's stomach move in my trembling palm.

"He knew his mother... A niece is like a child, isn't she, Jasmine?"

I still couldn't answer her question but honestly I felt a warmth in my heart after hearing Ruby's words let alone she said it while smiling and looking at me expectantly.

She was not even born yet and my anger towards her parents still did not subside but I began to feel affection for her...

Isn't this ridiculous?

"The inner bond between a niece and her aunt is almost like the bond of a mother to her child. If he's born, please don't hate him, even if you can't forgive me, please love him like your own."

My tears came back, Ruby said all that as if she was handing her child over to me.

I quickly pulled my hand, there was a fear that infiltrated after that so I could not continue to stay here and listen to Ruby's wishes. Desire as if he would leave after this.

It was as if he was about to leave this world...

I know better than anyone about how painful it is to be a child who has no mother even though my grandmother loves me so much but there is always an empty side that can never be filled by anyone because of the side it was always occupied by my mother who left me after giving birth to me which sometimes makes me feel guilty for being the cause of her death.

"Sister, let's go home ..." I called out to Juna because my body was frozen, I wanted to leave here but Ruby's pushy gaze held me back. I needed someone to pull me away from this situation even when I called, not only Juna turned his head but Gibran as well.

"Have you finished talking?" asked Juna gently, he stepped in tandem with Gibran following behind him.

Juna sighed when he was in front of me and I didn't have to say anything because Juna would always understand, he wiped my tears and wiped the top of my head. "Let's go home." take her gently while holding my hand.

I saw Gibran embracing Ruby, he looked at me for a moment before turning his face away and said to Ruby, "You're going home now?" gibran's voice sounded soft and Ruby answered him with a slow nod.

Without saying anything, Gibran took Ruby away, stepping past me and Juna when I intended to go first.

"You must be a good mother." said I who immediately made Ruby step stopped.

I slowly approached him. "I'll forgive you, but promise to be a good mother to your child so I don't have to have what's not mine." I said before stepping back towards Juna and going with him, leaving Ruby who came back crying after hearing my answer.

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