So My First Two Wives of Love

Universe plan

"Jasmine, don't try to be happy, you're not allowed to..."

You just don't know that my happiness has completely disappeared in the day you say you love her, in the day when you played me without caring about my feelings being too broken as a result...

"But Gibran, I still have a hard time finding the answer to why you hate me this much, as if I ever broke your heart."

If only our binding destiny had only led us to endless grievous wounds then I would have taken the most part if it could have made you feel more alive.

I've never been able to heal from my old wounds that you used to inflict. Adding another wound won't make me die.

Actually Gibran, I want to be selfish.

I want to hurt you as much as you hurt me but I'm stifled by this love.

The stupid feeling that bound me to the point that I was suffocating every second of it.

Why can't I ever really let go of this exhausting feeling?

...

I stepped while dragging my suitcase, Juna was still standing at the door of his apartment as if waiting for my departure, our eyes met for a moment but we both looked away from each other after that while Gibran was back in his car.

He looked louder than before, got down impatiently from his car and took the suitcase in my hand without saying anything and stuffed my suitcase into the trunk of his car, after which he re-entered his car.

"Splash!" he said it was short almost sounded like an order. I then stepped into his car, sat down next to him and after that his car drove away.

On the drizzling journey down, I wanted to arrive soon and meet Aurora so that my feelings might become lighter but the jammed streets were trapping us.

What the universe is really planning for our lives, this street is the same one where Gibran and I had a big fight for the first time.

The same way Gibran yelled at me and told me not to die in front of him. A place that makes a big crack in our relationship.

The ringing sound of my phone managed to break this torturous silence, saving me before I was completely drowned out by the pain brought by those bad memories.

I immediately picked up the phone call that turned out to be from Gibran's mother.

"Hello mah..."

"Jasmine, where have you been with Gibran?"

"Still on the way mah, kinda jammed this."

"Mom can you ask for help?"

"Yesterday mama forgot shopping, please you same Gibran stop by the supermarket buyin ingredients for dinner menu later ya..."

I glanced at Gibran for not being able to agree to his mother's request just like that considering that Gibran and I were not in a good condition to talk.

"Why?" asked Gibran turned his head briefly because finally this traffic jam began to be free.

"Mom, please go shopping for dinner." I answered while giving Gibran my phone.

They then spoke, I did not want to listen to him and chose to close my eyes for a moment because I was sleepy, I was up all night and I was still crying, so my eyes were so heavy that I fell asleep.

I woke up when I felt the car stop but what I saw was Gibran leaning his head and closing his eyes while the engine was still on seemed to be as sleepy as me so I let Gibran go sleep while I go down and shop alone.

I entered the supermarket while continuing to yawn, this drowsiness made my head dizzy but I still forced myself to continue shopping, taking one by one the ingredients according to the list sent by mama Gibran.

"Sleeping..." I muttered while pausing as my eyes began to blur and closed my eyes with the position of the body holding on to my shopping trolley without me realizing I was starting to fall asleep and almost fall if only someone was not with caught my body.

"You're crazy, aren't you? Sleep while standing up?!" Gibran's nagging voice restored my consciousness completely.

"I'm sorry." I said, standing straight and away until Gibran's hand slipped from my stomach.

Gibran did not respond to my remarks after that, but he immediately took over my shopping trolley as well as my phone to see what list I had not put in my shopping trolley.

"Don't sleep on the way!" gibran warned me with a sharp warning.

"Yes!" I answered no less tightly but did not really listen as my eyes kept closing even though my body kept on stepping until I accidentally bumped into Gibran when the man stopped to pick up some vegetables.

"I told him to sleep in that room!" Gibran again nagged, but I didn't respond. Gibran then sighed in annoyance, with a little rough Gibran pulled my hand and held me even though he had not finished buying all his groceries.

We then headed to the cashier, my head felt swinging, many times my body almost fell due to sleep if only Gibran did not swiftly always hold me.

"Don't sleep!" whispered annoyed, I who stood behind his body then nodded my head but then leaned on his back. If it was calculated after Ruby's death, my sleep was only a few hours and it was already a week after her death, it's appropriate that I couldn't bear this sleepiness.

I didn't fall asleep completely, though, although it was hard to open both of my eyes especially because leaning on Gibran's shoulder felt very comfortable but both of my eyes slowly opened when I felt Gibran's hand grab both my hands and put them on his waist and hold it with one hand to keep my hand on her waist.

He held me as if he was afraid of me falling, he even pulled me so that our distance was not too far away.

The little attention Gibran gave me made my heart melt easily, even though his words hurt me, his attitude still lulled me.

Ruby, what should I do if that love that never dies again thrives in my heart despite growing with its duration?

***