So My First Two Wives of Love

Love and pain

"You're married..."

My footsteps stopped at once, papa Gibran suddenly talked about marriage.

"Before your mother died, we had already promised to marry you to Gibran when you grow up" Gibran explained.

My heart is beating fast, should I be happy now that fate seems to be binding us?

Tied me up with Gibran...

Will our relationship improve like most novels I read about arranged marriages that always end sweetly, will my relationship with Gibran also end sweetly?

"The Jasmine part can't live alone abroad, if you're married you can live together there and Gibran can also move to college there." papa Gibran kept talking even though I still didn't approach them.

"Jasmine.." mama Gibran stepped over to me, he looked at me gently and led me back to the dining table and sat down where I was before.

"Where? Getting married young isn't a bad thing, you've been together since birth, it'll be easier for you to adapt." Now it's Gibran's mother's turn to speak, while my grandmother just smiles listening and Gibran, she speaks a thousand languages.

"We'll discuss it later that Jasmine has officially graduated" said my grandmother shortly after she saw Gibran's expression turn moody, my grandmother's looks hid her disappointment and her smile that didn't fully adorn her lips. "All decisions are in you. If you don't want to, then we won't force it." said my grandmother again, she looked like she was persuading Gibran and calming him down until Gibran finally showed her smile.

"Maybe Gibran did not want to, all this time he was the most concerned with Jasmine" said mama Gibran managed to get rid of the smile completely from Gibran's face.

I turned to look at Gibran, the look in his eyes looked empty, at that moment I realized that it seemed like only I was happy with this matchmaking.

Wh why?

One more pain that entered my heart...

***

The day changed quickly after that discussion but my relationship with Gibran was even more tenuous. Never once did we talk even though almost every weekend we had a family dinner together.

"Jasmine, there is an ingredient that you forgot to buy for dinner tonight, can you please buy the material? You call Gibran tell him to pick you up and shop with you back from school" Mama Gibran said on his phone.

"Yes mah.." although hesitant but I still agree with his request.

I don't know how to tell Gibran because I haven't had the courage to call him since our fight.

Gibran also never again contacted me, our distance was so wide, it became a difficult fraction to put together. But then came a message from his mother Gibran, a list of ingredients that he forgot to buy or indeed he did not shop anything because all the staples are on this list. If I go alone, it will be very difficult for me to carry it.

I had no choice but to contact Gibran even though there were still many things raging in my heart and mind including the fear that he would ignore the phone call from me.

Tut's... Tut's... Tut's...

I waited, I waited for him to pick up the phone call from me with a feeling of uneasiness until I kept looking at the phone screen and made sure my call was still uninterrupted.

"Hello..." That voice brought a million longings into my heart.

Besides being angry, I miss him too.

"Hello.." I answered the greeting slowly not so confidently.

"Why?" Gibran asked in a cold tone, he crushed it my only remaining little courage.

"Tell me to go shopping, can you please help me shop after school?" I asked after much effort, but Gibran did not answer. He was quiet for a while so I waited...

It's just that the time lag keeps making my chest feel tight.

"Sorry, I have other business!" gibran turned off his phone before hearing my speech afterwards.

What can I expect from him?

I held back my tears from dripping because I was still at school anyway even though I was standing in the quiet hallway of the school.

***

I went home alone and went shopping alone. Taking one by one the groceries Gibran's mother and my guess is right because I was a little difficult to carry the goods because the amount is large and also heavy.

"Why did you bring all this alone?"

I turned my head when I heard that voice, quite surprised to see it was in this place and smiled while taking over all my grocery bags.

"Sister Juna.." said I was surprised, he made me stunned for a moment because of his actions that appeared unexpectedly.

"Thank God you didn't forget me." Juna smiled happily.

"Want an event?" juna asked as he stepped down the escalator following my steps.

"Yes, there's a dinner at Gibran's parents' house."

"How do you shop, if the neighbors create a continuing event that bothers you?"

Juna and his unexpected remarks that could always make me laugh softly like the first time we met.

"Your relationship with your neighbor is that close, yes, I want to be your neighbor. If you want to eat just say it to you, who knows in masakin."

I laughed again, Juna is like an old friend who makes me not feel awkward with him even though this is our second meeting.

He was clearly different from Gibran who was my old friend, but now Gibran feels more like a stranger.

So alien... When both my eyes accidentally met with Gibran's eyes who happened to be riding on the escalator right next to where I went down.

He just looked at me, he didn't greet me even he didn't smile at me. The look in his eyes was so cold and painful, it was even more painful after I saw the woman standing next to him.

The business Gibran can't leave is a date with Ruby...

I was stupid, my heart was hurting but I kept looking up, towards those who kept moving away and when Gibran arrived upstairs, I saw his hand grabbing onto Ruby's shoulder.

The pain felt through my heart so much that I did not notice my steps to make me almost fall if only Juna did not swiftly hold my body.

"Are you all right?" ask Juna to worry.

All my groceries she was carrying were now scattered, I quickly crouched down and picked up all my belongings.

"I'm sorry I wasn't concerned." I said lying, in a trembling voice... I was secretly crying again.

I bowed my head and cried while putting my groceries into the shopping bag and just like then, Juna put my hat on, she said, he covered my face which was currently quietly crying as if he understood then helped me pick up the rest of my groceries.

"Want me anter home?" asked Juna after he finished re-inserting my groceries, he then extended his hand to me who was still crouching when nothing was left on the floor.

Slowly I raised my gaze, I could not hide my cry now but Juna smiled gently as if waiting for me to welcome her hand.

"You still have my promise debt, right?" juna said again and I finally received a helping hand. He helped me stand up and then led me along with him.

If forgetting is as easy as falling in love, then I want to forget Gibran and learn to love others...

But this feeling is too deep, it fills my heart even greater than the pain of my heart if Gibran knew I loved him...

I continued to love her even though she kept replying to her with pain, I still loved her.

But my love seems to clap one hand...

***