Red Threads

Endeavours

Kai woke up when the sun had just risen from the eastern horizon. He sighed disappointedly, opening his eyes. He's not dead yet. The feelings that constrained him were still the same, empty and hollow. A really horrible and stifling blank. He tried to close his eyes again. Perhaps, he could find a calmness in a dream. However, that horrible feeling remained unwilling to leave.

He grimaced small. The pain spreads throughout the body as he forces himself to sit. He forcibly pulled the infusion needle that pierced the back of his hand, causing blood to splatter and stain the bedsheet. There's no point in staying here anymore. Will not make it calm, it will add to the burden of costs.

With a step dragged, he walked towards the door. Ignoring his bones as if they were about to break. He just has to get out of this place. Now either. To him, the hospital was very unpleasant. He does not like the aroma of drugs and carbolic very concentrated. It really made her nauseous.

When he set foot in the doorway of the nursery, he gasped. Someone he never thought would be in this place, apparently sitting in an iron chair in front of his room. One fell asleep, with his head tilted to the left and leaning against the wall.

Kai snorted, then approached the guy. His gaze fell on the face of the guy with that half-open mouth. “Lo why come here? No work really.”

Apparently, the guy didn't sleep completely. He answered Kai's question, in the next second. Still with eyes closed. “Because you make me worry the same lo, Bego!”

The guy stood up, and immediately kicked Kai's shins. “Lo can not, once just let me live quietly? Holy hooch! I was almost crazy when you went to school and told me you were in the hospital.”

Kai chuckled, grimacing. His jaw felt very painful when moved. Plus, his shins were twitching due to the guy. “Lo who came here, Bego? You should not have to come. Bokap same nyokab I just don't care.”

“Instead it!” The guy shook Kai's head, upset. “Lo has who else, besides me. I'm still lucky I didn't do it, too.”

Kai snorted. “Gue to unplug. Please, take care of my administration fee. Ntar lo just ask to change to bokap or nyokab I.”

“Turn where you are? Lo crazy, yeah. Not yet healed,” scolded the guy.

“Indeed, when am I not crazy?” Kai laughed merrily. Then, take a step to leave the guy.

“Basic don't know yourself! Udah know still sick, play pull aja,” grumbled the guy. However, no power to hold Kai's steps.

♥

The cloudy clouds that were floating in the sky did not detract from the happiness in Mika's heart. In stark contrast to today's weather, his feelings were very bright. As if, the sun shines brightly to shine light on his life that has been feeling dark. Provides a light of hope that has been covered by dark shrubs.

Mika leaned her head on her mother's shoulder. His lips still held a big smile. For a long time, he did not feel this warm.

“You're thin, huh?” ask Yulia. His eyes were fixed on Mika beside him.

Mika looked at her mother. Then, chuckle slowly. “Taste of Mom. Mika's weight is still stable kok.”

Yulia squinted suspicious eyes. However, do not ask further. He's still too tired. It seems, too long in the hospital actually makes more energy reduced. It's just, now he feels a lot better. His feelings feel lighter.

Mika changed her position to lean her head against the windshield. He looked towards the sky. Observe the movement of clouds that are ready to drop the load on a busy morning.

He's dumbfounded. For some reason, Kai's face seemed to be looming among the clouds. Presented a pain that destroyed half of his happiness today.

How's that guy doing? Last night, she found out that Kai was in the hospital. His army group was busy talking about it, until almost morning. He doesn't know what's going on. He only saw the back of Abi and Satya who lifted Kai's body towards the UKS, from a picture sent by one of the students.

Mika. Why should that guy be present in his mind at the moment?

♥

Kai tightened his jacket. Raindrops began to rain down on the earth. Create small dots on the sidewalk, which then enlarge.

Although his entire body was still in pain, he forced himself to meet someone. If it wasn't for his motorbike keys being confiscated by the annoying guy he met at the hospital yesterday morning, he wouldn't have walked two kilometers in this condition. Riding online is also not the right choice. The pocket money will be reduced if you have to pay for transportation services.

Kai sped up his pace as the rain fell more and more. The tall black fence had already caught his sight. Not far away, he would meet the girl.

Kai heaved a sigh of relief, as he saw the iron fence open slightly. A white SUV— car commonly used to pick up Mika— is parked on the home page.

With his body shivering from the rain, Kai opened the iron fence. I don't know when he became this weak. To open that iron fence alone, he was already very troubled.

He does not know, this is a good coincidence or just the opposite. Just as she managed to get into the courtyard through the fence, Mika got down from the car. Their views clashed, for a while. Not only was she surprised, Mika was the same. The girl almost dropped the umbrella she was carrying.

“Mika!” call Kai, after the shock disappears. He wanted to run to reach the girl, but his joints did not want to cooperate. Pain that immediately strikes, making it only able to stay in place.

“Ngapain lo here?” ask Mika. His voice almost disappeared in the heavy rain. However, his face was not friendly. It shows a sign that Kai's arrival is not expected.

“Gue wants to apologize to lo,” replied Kai, who only responded to Mika with a cynical smile.

“Gue no apology required. You just have to wait until the police drag you to jail!” Mika's body stiffened after saying that. He did not know how the sentence came out very lightly from his lips. A stark contrast to his heart. Then, with heavy steps, he left Kai still sculpting.

As if he had just realized from a dream, Kai again shouted when Mika had set foot on the porch of the house. “Gue will wait here, until you sorryin me. I have something to show you to Lo!”

♥

The pain filled not only Kai's chest, but Mika's as well. The girl sat in front of the window, still watching Kai standing in her yard. He tries not to care. Although, her little heart screamed. Give him the urge to run up to the guy.

As long as you're there, I won't care. Mika ignored the roar of her little heart. He closed the window curtains violently. Then, throw your body on the bed. His hands are busy playing with cell phones. And, looking for anything that could take his mind off of Kai.

But a minute later, he changed his position to sitting. He sighs. His hands ruffled his hair in frustration. The shadow of Kai's face did not disappear from his mind at all.

He walked back to the window. Open the curtains, and drop a glance at the page. Kai is still there. Kneeled by hugging his own body.

“Until when, anyway, you want to be there?” Mika half-screamed so that her voice could be heard by Kai amidst the rustling of rain.

Kai raised his head, smiling faintly. It could make Mika see clearly the scars and bruises on the guy. With a raucous voice, Kai answered Mika's question, “Until a Mika Arestya would like to apologize to me.”

Mika clucking. His hands were folded in front of his chest. His face was stiff with sharp eyes on Kai. “Lo bego or indeed mentally ill? You can freeze to death if it's there any longer.”

Kai laughed blandly at the words. He's not stupid. He was tired of living in such a position. Positioned as a suspect for the tough decisions God has made. “If dying can make you sorryin me, no problem, Ka!” Kai shouted. Maybe, now he really looks like a mentally ill person.

Mika mute. Kai's shout sounded like a desperate howl in his ear. His chest rumbled to see the guy. Who's really wrong here? Who doesn't want to hear that guy's explanation? Or, Kai killed Nagra? Why does he feel that he is the real villain?

“Please go from there, Kay. I don't want you to get sick later.” Mika could only say that in her heart. Pressing that sentence deeply. Letting his ego stay in power. And, let Kai stay down there.

On the other hand, Kai shivered increasingly more intensely. A gust of strong wind made his body numb. He could no longer feel his fingertips. The pain radiated from the scar on his face, mingling with the pain in the heart that he was unable to treat.

Amidst the engulfing exhaustion, amidst the whack of despair, pieces of memories returned to fill his head. About a little girl who once saved him from feeling this way.

*“This is for you.” The little boy gave her a lollipop.

“I don't like candy,” replied Kai. Without receiving the candy that the little boy handed out.

“It's delicious. Let you not be sad anymore.” The little boy started to get anxious, and got closer to pushing the candy on Kai.   

Kai accepted, hesitatingly. Her mother always forbade her to eat sweets. Mama said the food would break her teeth. However, he no longer wanted to hear that advice. Didn't her mother never hear anything from her?

“Enak, right?” ask the girl, whom Kai replied with a nod. “Say, candy can reduce sadness. Just like chocolate. Ever since I met you, I've always seen you sad. So, maybe this candy can make you a little happy.”*

Kai smiled bitterly. His head was looking deep. Striking the bouncing rainwater, after falling to the paving floor. For now, can he hope it will happen again? Will Mika come to him, give him an umbrella, or candy to treat his heartache? If the expectations were too high, then could he only hope to hear the girl say that she had forgiven him?

Can that happen?

Those questions never get answers. In fact, Mika just looked at him with a difficult gaze to decipher. The girl kept flinching. Not moving from his position.

Kai laughed merrily. Perhaps he is too hopeful. Perhaps he no longer deserved to be saved. Perhaps it should have been thrown out.

Mom and Dad threw it away. They pass it like a ball. Her parents divorced, and they lived apart. He thought making the decision to stay with them in turn was their way of getting fair affection. But, not so. In fact, they threw it away. His parents did not want him to interfere with their lives that had begun to improve. Because, the presence of children is not expected to only destroy the happiness they have pioneered.

Thas right. Her parents never loved each other. They had to marry for a mistake. The mistake that brought him into the world. The only way to make their lives happy is to throw them away.

“Go you! Stay there with your mom! You just make papa hard!” Kai still remembered the scream. The day he was expelled for accidentally breaking his stepmom's favorite flower vase. He even remembers when his father pushed him into the streets during heavy rain. It did not matter to him who grimaced in pain because his knee was scratched by the asphalt.

In fact, long ago, it was only there to be thrown away. It exists only to ruin the lives of others. The lives of his parents, Nagra, and Mika. He's just someone who deserves to be removed. Wasn't his life just to trouble others?

But only this time. He wants to fix everything. He wants to feel happy.

Kai took a deep breath, even though his chest felt so tight. He shouted again, slower than before. With all hope, he begged. “Ka, please listen to me. Just once. I promise I won't bother you again.”

“Gue promises won't bother you again.” That sentence left Mika speechless for quite a while. His brain twisted the sentence over and over again. A sentence that seemed to tell him if Kai would leave, after he heard the man's explanation. He didn't like that phrase. Wouldn't it be better if Kai didn't use it, and stopped in the sentence “once”? The sentence provoked a voice in his heart to say that he did not need to hear Kai's explanation. At the very least, it could make Kai stay nearby.

Merely, Mika could not withstand the tightness in the chest, every time their eyes collided. The distance that is stretched is meaningless. He can still catch the streak of destruction in Kai's pair of dark eyes. Every time he saw that guy's face, there was a great turmoil in his heart. Hate, anger, and disappointment, which are mixed with longing, and the fear of loss. All that seemed to make him paralyzed, and lost his footing.

Before falling further away, and before the wound in her heart deepened, Mika decided to close the window curtains. He took the phone from the top of the nightstand. In haste, he searched for Anggita's name in the ranks of contacts. Then, press the phone icon.

“Git, please come to my house yes. Don't be long,” he said, as soon as Anggita's voice sounded from across.

Mika disconnects the phone, before Anggita gives an answer. He dropped his body on the bed. Then, cover your face with a pillow. She cried.