Red Threads
Two Red Lines
*“Kak Nagra, what does it feel like to die?”
“It died? Why?”
“Is it fun?”
Nagra was silent for a moment. His eyes looked up, as if he was thinking of something. “Ngak. Because I can't see you.”
“If I was there, would it be fun?”
Nagra raised one eyebrow. Then, a small smile. “Maybe.”
“Then I want to die. I'd like to come with Brother Nagra.”
Nagra gasped at the statement. Reflexes, he took one step back from Mika. Highlight his eyes illegible, making Mika astonished and unsettled. “Why do you want to die?” ask Nagra, then.
“I'm tired. I want to be with Nagra. I want us to tell a long story first. I want us to play hide and seek again like first. I miss Nagra's sister."
Nagra commented on the small, but bitter smile. His footsteps drew closer to Mika. Nagra reached out her hand and landed on Mika's shoulder. Patting slowly, then he pulled the girl's body in his arms.
Mika leaned her head on the chest of Nagra's field. It's still the same as before. The hug felt very soothing and pleasant. If this was real, then he hoped the seconds would stop at this time. If this was just a dream, then he wished to not wake up again. Everything felt fine in Nagra's arm summary.
Some time ago, Mika had felt a warm embrace owned by Nagra. In Kai's arms, he found it. In Kai's embrace, he no longer felt worried about all the bad possibilities that lay before his eyes. But not anymore. The warmth disappeared. The calmness is gone. Along with the pain that arises because Kai has deceived him. The guy who once made him feel alive after Nagra's departure, apparently killed him slowly. Destroying every happy inch he had ever felt, in a moment. And finally, only in Nagra's arms did he come back alive.
“We can still kayak stories first, Mika. You can tell me anything. But, sorry. I can't give you any answers.” Nagra whispered in Mika's ear. Making Mika's heart get stabbed by something like a sharp object. Circling in his chest, like intentionally to make an even wider wound.
“Why?” Mika's voice started to tremble. Every now and then his breath was blocked by the sudden pain.
Nagra sighed. His fingers moved slowly between Mika's hair. “Because, we are in a different dimension, Mika. We can't be the same as before. As difficult as anything, you should be able to accept that.”
Cold infiltrated Mika's chest. Pushing it on a dark and endless valley was stifling. What do you mean different dimensions? Are they not in the same place now.
"Who made us part, brother? Who could do that?" Mika's fiery question. There was a grudge that was secretly conveyed through his tone.
Nagra smiled faintly in response to that. "If you knew who he was, what would you do?"
"I'll kill him!" Mika answered that without thinking much, thus causing Nagra who was standing in front of her to flinch.*
"Ka, listen to me!" Nagra held Mika's chin, so that the girl's gaze would still be on her. In a deep and calm voice, Nagra again said, "I don't want you to be a murderer. I don't want you to be a vengeful. Everything that happens between us, it's his destiny. Can't blame anyone. You know, Ka. Living in revenge will not calm you down. So, for my sake, forget that intention. I'm calm here. I promise, I'm not going anywhere. I'll keep waiting for you here."
Then, before Mika could say anything, Nagra slowly removed her hand from Mika's chin. The towering tall figure that was originally standing real in front of Mika, slowly disappeared. Fading and refracting engulfed a dazzling white light.
Mika runs, scruffy. He wandered every corner of a place he did not recognize. Shouting called out Nagra's name many times, with tears blurring the gaze. If this place was originally a Nagra apartment room, then now it turns into an empty space in white which is very foreign.
“Kak Nagra!” Mika is still screaming. There is still no lawfulness. Only the reflection of his own voice can he hear.
Mika kept shouting calling Nagra's name. He ran from end to end. Repeatedly. His feet went numb and lost strength. Finally, after a few seconds had passed in vain, it decayed on the floor. Crying and roaring. Wishing Nagra would hear that, then come back to embrace her. But that never happened. He remained alone, until a large circle pulled him.
Body whirring. The circle is scary and stifling. Inside the circle, he could hear Nagra's voice. Echoing filled his ears.
“Life happily, Mika. Whether or not there is me.”
♥
Mika opened her pair of eyelids, as something hard hit her body. He awoke, and found himself lying on the floor of Nagra's apartment room. With the sweat soaking up his body and his breathing gasping for breath, he forced himself to stand up. Move to the bed next to him.
Dreams are fun, as well as scary. He had not dreamed about Nagra for a long time. The last time he had a dream about that guy was before someone put up a picture of him and Nagra on the school wall magazine. Instantly he felt unsettled. Does this dream mean that something will happen? Or, Nagra had indeed deliberately come to prevent him from doing anything stupid.
Mika slid her head between her knees. His heart is beating fast. Breathing's dashed. Sweat still soaks the body, although the air conditioner has shown the number sixteen degrees Celsius.
He raised his head after two minutes. His breathing began to be regular. His heart was not as good as before. Although, it did not reduce the pain in his heart.
His gaze swept over every corner of Nagra's room. Silent. He did not find Raga in that place. Mika was getting confused. He leaped from Nagra's bed, and prepared to call Raga. However, a savory scent suddenly tickled his sense of smell. Mika walked slowly towards the source of the scent. Stomach rumbling. He just remembered, if he had not eaten anything since he came home from school.
He stopped at the door of the room. Her eyes caught the figure of Raga sitting on the sofa with a bowl of instant noodles. For a few seconds, he was silent. His eyes were observing Raga from a distance.
Instantly, his memory fell on Raga who held him a few hours before the dream came. The deck felt hollow, though it could make him feel less alone.
Then, a thought flashed through his head. Why can't he love that guy, like he's in love with Kai?Hasn't Raga always been with him? Hasn't that guy been willing to listen to his story?
Mika sighed. He has come to a conclusion that—maybe— he can't argue anymore. He does not love Raga anymore. His heart had chosen, and Raga was indeed not the chosen one.
“Hai, Ka!” Raga waved her hand, when she found out Mika was standing not far from her. “Sini, eat first.”
Mika forced a smile. Then, approach Raga. He took another bowl of instant noodles and devoured them.
“Before, I want to buy fried rice. But, around here there are only those who sell instant noodles. So, I had to buy this and tell the seller to masakin,” said Raga.
Raga has been paying more attention to him lately. Yet, still. His feelings could not shift that fast. Maybe it's just a matter of time, until he can love Raga properly. It might just be a matter of time, until he can erase the feelings for Kai that have already formed.
“I just found something in Nagra's desk drawer,” Raga said. Then, his hand moved to take out a piece of paper from his bag pocket.
Raga handed the object to Mika in an inverted position. “If you are not ready to see this, I can save it again.”
Mika shakes. Then, restraining the movement of Raga's hand that was about to reinsert the piece of paper into the pocket. He immediately took the object from Nagra's hand, and forgot the food for a moment.
The paper is a photo. A photograph of Alana, Nagra, and Kai.
"Surely, they had known him a long time ago. You remember, right, someone said that Nagra's killer turned out to be someone close to the guy?"
Mika nodded in response to Raga's question. However, the focus still falls on Kai's smiling photo. Mika's blood rippled looking at that. Under any circumstances, Kai can still make his feelings unbecoming. For a moment, he began to doubt. Is someone as fun as Kai a killer?
But as soon as the feeling came, Mika was trying to get rid of it. He braced himself, uniting his heart to no longer feel anything every time he saw Kai.
"I did prevent you from accusing Kai recklessly. But, now, I'm starting to suspect that Kai did it."
Mika looked at Raga for a moment. "Why?"
"Because of that photo. In the photo there is only Kai and Alana near Nagra. Logically, Alana couldn't have killed Nagra. What else, he said he's Nagra's girlfriend. She must love Nagra. No way, right, that he killed her? And, Kai. We've never known him before. He's in this photo, in the CCTV footage, and don't forget that red bracelet. All the evidence we can point to him."
Mika fell silent. Digesting one by one sentence delivered by Raga. He who was initially worried about his accusations, slowly began to believe because of Raga's statement.
“I want to show you one more thing.” Raga pulled the phone out of her pocket. Then, play a video.
The video features Kai and Nagra being involved in a fight. I don't know what the cause is. Suddenly, Kai lands a punch on Nagra's body and leaves Nagra stranded. Nagra gave no reply, and Kai did not want to stop. Kai repeatedly landed a punch. Over and over again, Mika exclaims to ask Kai to stop—even though he knows, it was a waste. Kai only stopped, after Nagra was battered and lying on the floor.
Goddamnit! Pekik Mika in heart. It was unacceptable to see Nagra being hit like that. Had enough. He will no longer remain silent. There's enough evidence he's found to drag Kai into prison. He did not care, even though there was a corner of his heart that thrashed and refused. He still has to hold that guy accountable.
"Living in revenge won't make you unsettled."
Nagra's words in his dream echoed in his ears. With tightly clenched hands full of anger, he whispered inwardly, "Sorry, Brother Nagra. This time, I have no revenge. I just want to get that guy to get the right payback."
♥
Kai sighed in anger. He tried many times to contact Mika's phone. However, only the voice of the operator responded to his call. The girl has been missing since school. And, that worries him. What's more, the strange attitude Mika showed her. He's been trying to contact Anggita. However, the girl was also unaware of Mika's whereabouts.
“Lo where the hell, Ka? Jeez!” Kai ruffled his hair, starting to sag. Suddenly, a single thought flashed through his head. Without wasting any time, he searched for Raga's name in his ranks of contacts. A waiting tone was heard several times from across there, before finally the heavy voice of someone responded.
“Ga, Mika again same lo?” asked Kai, without giving his opening greeting.
“This who?” Kai sighs. He forgot, if—maybe—Raga does not have his mobile number.
“Gue Kai.”
Raga was silent for a few seconds. Then, replied in a very cold tone, “Don't look for Mika again!"
After that, the call was severed unilaterally by Raga. There were still many questions hanging on Kai's tongue, which he had not yet had time to utter.
Kai growling. His hand held the phone very firmly. All his anger, worry, confusion, and restlessness he finally expressed in one word. “Shoppers!”
Just half a minute, after the call was cut off. Kai's phone rang. A message from Raga.
"Stop looking for Mika. He's not looking at your face!”
♥
Mika opened her eyes slowly. The glare light from the lights on the living room ceiling, makes it a little difficult to see. Several times he rubbed his eyes, and adapted to the atmosphere around.
He looked around. Raga was no longer beside him. The sound of water from the bathroom made her realize that it was morning.
He got up from the sofa, and went back to Nagra's room to pick up the bag. He was about to put Nagra's book in the bag. Suddenly, his hand shook. The book fell to the floor before he could open the bag.
Mika hissing. Just as he was about to take back the book, something stole his attention. One inch from the book, there is a test pack with two red lines. Mika's forehead was wrinkled inside. Didn't that thing last night not exist?
Mika was trying to guess where the thing came from. But the voice of Raga calling his name, made him realize. He immediately stuffed Nagra's books, test packs, and black boxes into the bag.
“Ka, we go home first yes. There is still two hours, before school starts,” Raga said. The guy was already neat with a backpack on his shoulder.
Mika nodded. Then, hurriedly left Nagra's room. In his head still spinning the questions about the test pack he found this morning.
Why did Nagra keep that thing? Whose thing is that?
