Red Threads

Wearied

Mika tried to call Raga's number many times, but there was not a single answer. Dozens of short messages have been sent to the man. However, there is no reply. Raga just read the message.

Mika tries to send a message, once again. Hopefully this time Raga is willing to reply to his message, even if it is only one word.

Mika Ars

You believe me, right?

When all his friends at school think of him as a murderer, at least one person believes him. And, that person is Raga. That guy who is always next to him every time he falls.

But in fact, that's not happening right now. Raga is not indifferent and Mika has to go back to swallowing disappointed. The guy just read a message from her. Make something in him say, if the guy doesn't believe it either.

The sound of broken glass instantly made Mika flinch. He just threw his phone on the bed. Then, run outside the room. Her eyes fell on her mother who was banging on the table with her shoes downstairs.

Mika squealing. He ran down the stairs. Then, lock her move with a hug from behind. The woman is in revolt. Trying to escape, like a possessed man. 

“Ma, this is Mika. Please stop.” Mika held back a stinging hiss, as she accidentally stepped on a broken piece of glass on the floor.

“Lease! You son of a fucking carrier! Get out of here!”

Yulia hit Mika hard in the arm with the shoes she was carrying. Mika screeched, but did not let go of the circle of her hand. His arm is even numb. His mother not only hit once, but many times.

“Kak Nagra, help me.” Mika whimpered in heart. His hand that was starting to limp, involuntarily slipped off from Yulia's body. The woman threw it. His body landed hard on the floor. Mika was not even aware, if there were broken glass stuck in her arm.

“Go from here! I won't see your face again!” Yulia pulled the injured arm of Mika. Dragging the girl to the door.

Heavy rain and rumbling thunder greeted Mika as she set foot in front of the door. He pleaded and thrashed for his mother to release herself. In his heart he hoped, that his Papa would come home soon and save him—entah where the man is today. She could not face her mother alone. It's the 23rd right now, and her mom's drunk.

Despite not touching the injured part, Mika could still feel her hands twitching. The wound was increasingly painful due to the grip of his mother.

Mika. His body landed on the wet grass. He grimaced, as a result of a very uneasy landing.

“I want, you meet Nagra. Bring her back to this house!” yulia shouted, under the increasingly heavy rain.

“Let Mika in, ma. Cold.” Mika started to shiver. The wind tonight is also blowing quite strongly.

Yulia just laughed out loud. Craze. Regardless of Mika, she returned home. Close the big house door.

Mika forced herself to stand up. Then, curled up on the porch of the house. His body shivered violently. Plus the sensation in his hand. There were three pieces of glass stuck in his arm. With trembling hands, he picked up the glass one by one. He hissed loudly, each time managing to take one. Blood dripped, soaking the floor. Mixed with a small puddle of splashing rain water.

Feels sore. But, quite fun. Mika deliberately slowed her movements. Letting the pain rule over him. At least, this was better than her heartache.

Mika gave a small laugh, as she managed to take off one more piece of glass. In his heart he asked, as sad as this is his life? In fact, even a murderer would just curl up in a prison and rot there. So, why does he who just—coincidentally— accused as a killer have to feel such stifling pain?

Perhaps dying would be more fun. The temptation to scratch the glass shards in the veins intensified within him. Death won't make him face to face with his mother again. Wouldn't dying also make her meet Nagra? He can tell that guy like he used to. Tell me about the things he's been through for a few months.

Many times Mika thought to follow Nagra's departure. But many times he held back. There was something whispering that there was still something he had to finish. There's something that says he shouldn't die a loser. Must not die as someone who cannot defend himself after being accused of being a murderer. He was sure, not only his friends who laughed happily when they found him hanging himself or plunging from a tall building, but also his mother.

Mika nodded increasingly loudly. The third piece of glass, stuck deep enough. Make him feel double pain.

His eyes that were originally misty with tears, slowly dimmed. His lips are already shaking. His body shivered increasingly more intensely. Right after that retracting the third shard, his gaze darkened. His body is like floating. He is unconscious.

♥

Since that incident, the school became one that Mika hated other than Nagra's apartment. Mockery and cynical gazes were still his meal for these few days. Mika no longer knew what she had to do to fix things. Never tell the truth, just look at it they are reluctant.

Mika walked into the toilet. During today's lesson hours, he could not concentrate at all. He couldn't seem to be stuck in class. Every little gesture he made, as if a big mistake in the eyes of his friends. They were not just looking at him with a look of hate. They also looked at him with a fearful look, as if he was a heartless psychopath. In fact, Raya and Anggita also left him. They chose to move. Leave it alone in the corner of the room that now feels stuffy and stifling.

He just finished washing his face, when Raya and Anggita entered the toilet. They can still laugh and behave normally, without him. They did not even look at him in the least. As if, he was just an invisible creature.

“Gita, Kingdom.” Mika ventured to call her two friends. “Gue sorry.”

Anggita turned to Mika with a sickened look. Then, he laughed cynically. “Lo nothing wrong with us. No need to apologize.”

Mika closed her eyes. Withstanding the pain that had infiltrated his chest. “Gue no longer know how to explain it, if not I'm Nagra's killer.”

“Lo thinks, do we believe that? You should be self-conscious now. Free you continue to hide if the evidence is already in front of the eyes!”

“Gue is not a killer, Git. I don't know why Nagra died. I don't know!” Mika yells. Tears have been shed in the eyes. Just once, the clear details will wet his cheeks.

Unexpectedly, Anggita landed a slap on Mika's cheek. Mika had to take two steps back. “Lo knows the meaning of the word free no, Ka? Nor do you cry if you're not a killer. You don't have any proof, do you? Be stuck. Waste of time ngeladenin lo.”

Anggita walked up to Mika, making the girl cornered in the corner of the room. There was a wounded look in his pair of eyes. “Gue want to answer your question about my ex at that time.” Anggita's words were stopped by tears that suddenly decayed soaked her cheeks. “My ex is Brother Nagra. I've been dating her since Junior High. But a few months before MOS, he cut me off. Without me knowing the reason. I'm trying to figure out why, but what? You kill him first, before I know why! Damnit!”

Mika dumbfounded. Did you ever date Nagra? Why did he never know that? What other facts does he not know?

There was only one answer in Mika's head, about the reason Nagra decided on Anggita. And, that reason was Alana. But he had not been able to say that, Anggita was back to talk.

“If you want to answer, Brother Nagra broke up me for dating Alana. You are wrong big! They never dated. Brother Nagra even promised to go as far as Alana for me. Nagra never loved Alana. We even have plans to go to college together, in the same place.” Anggita's body decays. The girl's shoulders shook violently. “Kak Nagra has promised to wait until I finish college. He wants to call me. But, you kill him first. Before the plan materializes!”

Mika was at a loss for words. Only tears represent what it looks like now. If he could, he wanted to exchange his soul for Nagra right now. In fact, too many were injured due to Nagra's departure. Perhaps, it would be better if that day he were the one who died. Not Nagra. At the very least, there would be no people injured for his disappearance.

“Maybe it would be better, if she went with someone else or married someone else. At least I know he's okay. But now he's gone forever. Never will return.” Angita rose from his position. His hand rubbed the tears violently. Her eyes were reddened, looking at Mika intently. “Dan, it's all because of lo. You deserve to die, Mika!”

Suppose you pull Mika's hair, like a possessed person. Raya does not even have the power to withstand the power of Angita.

Mika did not fight. He received every punch, push, jubilant, and rough claw of Anggita on his body. If it could make the girl feel better, she would let it go. In fact, he hoped Anggita would kill him right then and there. At least, he no longer needed to feel any further inner suffering.

Mika's body was limp, when Anggita banged his head against the wall. His ears were ringing, like the sound of a TV running out of shows in the middle of the night. However, he could still hear the screams of Raya. Can still hear the desperate and disappointed sobbing of Anggita. I can still hear Nagra's laughter. All of this was in his ears.

Mika smiled in the middle of her pain. He was sure that his body was full of bruises and wounds. Aggita still hasn't given up on making her helpless. Raya keeps trying to stop Anggita. Although repeatedly, the girl had to be pushed and hit the wall. Luckily, the female toilet is located at the very end and is a few meters away from other buildings. So, no one could hear the commotion in that place. Fortunately, there were only three of them in that place.

“People like you don't deserve to live, Ka! You are a monster! Psychopath! Killer!”

The joyous turmoil grew in Mika's heart. Along with his desperate breath. His ears started to ring. Darkening view. Almost he was not aware, if Anggita did not immediately flush his body with water. The girl flushed her body several times, until she shivered.

"Kill me now, Git.” Mika cheered in heart. Hope Anggita will do better than this. He was ready to die.

“Git, already! You don't want to be a killer either, do you?” Raya held Anggita's arm that was about to re-water the water.

Angita. Then, throw the dipper to the floor hard. He crouched down, aligning his face with Mika's battered face. His fingers gripped both of Mika's cheeks.

“Lo knows, this is not at all comparable to my heartache. Not at all comparable to what you've done to Nagra!”

Right after saying that, Anggita left with Raya. Leaving behind Mika who could only laugh. Laughing at his own circumstances.

“Why don't you kill me, Git? Why?” Mika said softly, in the middle of her breathing that had been one-on-one.

He sighs. He tried to get out of his position, but failed. His body felt pain all over. Finally, he laid his body on the floor. No matter the jacket and uniform that has been exposed to blood spots due to injuries from Anggita attacks and injuries last night.

♥

If no one believes him, why else would he live? Hasn't he just made other people's lives fall apart? Since Anggita did not manage to kill him this time, then he will do it himself.

Mika came out of the toilet when the break was over half an hour ago. With a soaked body and a mess full of wounds, he ran towards the school roof. No one saw him in the corridor. All classes are doing learning activities. And, all the classroom doors are closed.

Mika spread her arms wide, as her feet stepped on the concrete floor at the very top of the building. From that place, he could see the sky more closely. Not to mention, the school field is wide.

A thin line of smile was engraved on his lips. Perhaps, it would not be so bad if he dropped himself on that field. He must have felt tremendous pain only once, before finding freedom. In his head, spinning about how likely would he die if he dropped down from the top of that thirty-meter tall building?

He must not just die. However, his body was also shattered. His friends will see his body that is out of shape. They'll talk about it, a week or two. After that, it's done. They'll forget it. And, consider him a coward. A coward who killed his own brother, then chose to die by suicide.

He wanted to laugh, every time he heard someone say that someone who kills himself is a coward. Suicide may be a cowardly act. But there is never a reason behind it. No one has ever felt what a suicide bomber feels. They can only judge and scorn.

Mika took a step closer to the edge of the building. His thin body, like it was about to be blown away by the wind.

He advanced one leg, letting it float in the air for a while. As if preparing to welcome his freedom.

Slowly his body leaned forward. There was no fear on his face. There was only a smile of peace that he would bring to welcome death. He could feel his body floating. In three seconds, he would bring his body to plunge downwards. He began to count in his heart.

One.

Two.

Three.

Exactly the third count. Just when his feet were almost completely floated. Someone pulled his arm from behind.

His body was dazed, and landed on top of a person's body. He opened his eyes. His pair of eyelids opened wide, when he found out that someone was grimacing in pain underneath.

Kai.