Red Threads

The Missed

"When the loss dawns that there are some things that cannot be sustained."

♥

Heavy rain and crowds on the highway did not make Mika lower the speed of her car. He stepped on the gas pedal deeper. Carrying his car zigzag through another vehicle. Long horns and swearing from other riders that were heard several times, he did not care at all.

Mika gripped the steering firmly. His breath hunted, making his lungs slightly congested. There was anger that made his chest almost explode. The shadow of a person he had seen just a moment ago, flashed back inside his head.

“Damn it! Supposedly, from the first time I did not give permission for Nagra brother to go along Alana.” Mika shuffled her hair with one hand. Seemed frustrated, while letting out a long sigh.

With a speed that can make passengers in the car suffered a sudden heart attack, Mika finally arrived at the parking area of Nagra's apartment. He ran towards Nagra's apartment room which was lucky to be— was on the second floor. So, he only needed to climb the emergency stairs, because it was too long to wait for the elevator.

Mika pressed a few digits to open the apartment door. His eyes were round, exactly one second after the iron door had opened. Cigarette butts, food wrappers, paper shreds, and dirty clothes were strewn across the floor. He had to walk with a little tiptoe so as not to step on those things. It's freaky. Nagra is not the slovenly type of person. The guy even always nagged, if he saw Mika put things carelessly in the house.

Mika ignored those things. He just has to see Nagra now. He had to tell Nagra, if Alana—the girl Nagra had been dating six months ago—is not a good girl.

“Kak Nagra, there is something I have to say,” Mika said, as she saw Nagra curled up in the corner of the room. Mika doesn't know what happened. However, the guy's body looked a little shaky.

“Kak Nagra!” He rebuked Nagra who was still flinching. The guy keeps his head between his knees. Not intending to look towards him.

Mika sighs. His frustration had already arrived at the top. He pulled one arm of Nagra, and forced the man to look up.

Mika shrieked softly. It's not just Nagra's room that's a mess. The man's condition is also very concerning. Nagra looked at him with reddened eyes and a blank look. There was a thick dark circle hanging on the eyelids. Nagra's face was pale and tangled. Looks like a person who hasn't slept for a few days.

“Ngapain you here?” ask Nagra. The man's hoarse and heavy voice resuscitated Mika from shock.

"Sir Nagra why? What happened?” ask Mika. As if forgetting his anger, he was worried about the guy. He intended to get rid of the hair that covered Nagra's face. However, the guy first brushed off the rough hand.

“Who are you here with?” ask Nagra. The guy tried to get up from his position with great difficulty. Then, walk to the fridge.

“Self. I already got the Driving Permit, three days ago,” Mika said, without taking a look from Nagra's back.

Nagra smiled obliquely. “Then, can you come to my apartment at will?” ask Nagra. Then, the guy sipped a cold drink a few times. “Better, now you go home. It's already night. And, you haven't really been proficient driving a car.”

“Alana cheating. I saw him at the nightclub today. Same guys. Very friendly.” Mika couldn't take it anymore. He finally took out the sentence, with great emphasis.

A second passed, with no response from Nagra. But in the next second, the guy laughed. Laughter is pretty loud, but it sounds sad. Mika does not understand, where is the cuteness of her statement. Shouldn't Nagra be angry? Or at the very least, the guy will contact Alana and prove the truth of her words.

“Ke—why did Nagra's sister laugh?” ask Mika. He has already clenched both of his palms. Get ready to hit Nagra, if the guy thinks his statement is a joke.

“So, what do you think I should do? Should I be angry at Alana? I have to decide on Alana right now? Or..” Nagra paused his sentence. The guy walked up to Mika with a hard-to-understand expression. “Or, I have to jump from the building because I can't accept that Alana cheated on me?”

Mika shakes. His breath held for a moment. It was as if he did not know Nagra who was in front of him at this moment. He had never seen Nagra cast such a cold gaze at him. He had never heard Nagra speak in a cynical tone to him. “From the beginning, I should never have given Brother permission to be with him. Alana's not a good girl. If she's a good girl, why would she come to a nightclub? Why does he hug another guy, while he already has a girlfriend?”

“Quite, Mika! Enough!” Nagra snapping. Mika had to take a step back to dodge. In the boy's eyes, stored a scroll of anger that Mika did not understand. “Alana is not what you think. You don't know what really happened.”

Mika swallowed with great difficulty. He bit his lower lip. Resisting the tears that began to fill her eyes. “Indeed, what really happened?”

Nagra gave no answer. The guy just walked up to the wall. Then, lean his body there. Head looked up. Shoulders drooped. As if there were too many burdens he had been carrying all this time. A burden that cannot be shared with anyone. Nagra again dropped his eyes on Mika. “Finely, you just go home now.”

Mika's body froze. His feet seemed to be firmly stuck in place now. His joints refused his brain's order to leave Nagra's apartment immediately.

“You don't know what it means to leave? P-E-R-G-I,” said Nagra, once again. Knowing Mika who did not move, the guy finally to drag Mika towards the door.

“I won't go, before the real story sister happens!” Mika rebelled. Trying to get his hands off Nagra's hand.

“At least, brother Nagra does not need to gig the problem itself.” Mika tries to continue persuading Nagra. However, the man first managed to bring him to the front door of the apartment. 

“Nothing we need to talk about again. Be careful on the road. Good night, Mika.” Nagra commented a thin smile. Then, close the door of his apartment with a little dings.

Mika froze in place. He was still trying to digest the incident a few minutes ago. His head was still trying to string together one reality after another that he got. Alana is with a guy she doesn't know. Nagra with a sad state of affairs. Nagra was snapping at him. Nagra, who he no longer knew. All of that was spinning around in his head, making him realize one important thing. He did not understand the situation that was happening.

Mika was still deep in thought, as the door in front of her opened again. Nagra—with a face that is still tangled—shows a big smile at him. Their views collide. And unexpectedly, Nagra pulled Mika into her hand summary.

“Thank you, you're ready to be my sister. Thank you, for trying to understand my situation. Thank you for everything we've done together. I'm happy to know you. I'm happy because we can be a family. I happy. Very happy to have a sister like you,” said Nagra. His voice sounded calmer than it had been a while ago. Nagra also remained calm, even as Mika tried to break away from the summary of her hand.

“I can ask for help?” Nagra's question leads Mika to stop her attempt to break away. “After returning from here, please forget about today's incident. Please forget that you've seen Alana at that club. Please forget that we fought today. Please, don't assume Alana's not a good girl. She's a good girl. I was wrong. I made it like that.”

“Kak Nagra, by the way what the hell?”

Nagra laughed softly. “No need to think about. You just have to do that. Sorry if I haven't been a good sister to you.” Nagra released his hand summary. Then, looked at Mika with a gaze as warm as the morning sun. “I'll take you to the front.”

Mika doesn't know what happened to Nagra. During the trip to the parking area, the guy did not release the embrace on his shoulder at all. The guy also turned to her a few times, and commented a big smile. Mika even assumed that Nagra had just been entered by the genie waiting for the apartment.

“I go home first yes. Brother Nagra is fine here.” Mika waved her hand. Then, get in the car.

Nagra nodded, and returned Mika's hand. “Be careful. Greetings to Papa and Mama.”

Mika was silent as she continued to look at Nagra's face for a few seconds. There was something strange in Nagra. Not once or twice did Nagra apply sweetness to her. However, his treatment this time was different.

Mika then shook her head. Trying to eliminate negative thoughts in his head. He smiled at Nagra. Then, step on the gas pedal. Carry the car out of the parking area of the apartment.

♥

The streets were not crowded a moment ago. With her current speed, Mika was confident that she could get home before midnight. That means, he can still survive the integration of his mother and papa. He can leave the car at Mr. Burhan—satpam's house. Then, sneak into the room. The next morning, he stayed grounded if the car was taken by Nagra to the apartment. I don't know. He did not know the reason his parents always looked into his room every midnight.

Mika chuckled, each time remembering the habits of her parents. Her father even panicked half to death, simply because he did not find her in the room. Her father almost called the police, before she found him eating bread in the kitchen. They once said, if they were afraid Mika would be taken away by astral beings at midnight. That answer made Mika unable to hide the laughter. How could his parents who were highly educated, and lived in a modern environment still believe such things?

However, the memory of that ridiculous incident suddenly disappeared. His mind turned back to Nagra. The warm and tingly feeling within his chest, had been changed by something stifling. It was as if there was a whisper telling him to return to Nagra's apartment. Without thinking for a long time, Mika finally looked for a detour.

He is not too far from Nagra's apartment, so he can arrive in just twenty minutes. Mika immediately ran towards Nagra's room. Nagra's voice a moment ago, filled his ears. Reverberated with the sound of his feet in the deserted hallway.

Mika stops at the door of Nagra's apartment. He took his one-on-one breath. His hand hit the bell several times. But barely a minute passed, the iron door before him did not move either. He thought Nagra was sleeping, and it would be impolite to go straight in. So, he rang the bell again. A feeling of unease began to ambush, when almost two minutes the door did not open.

Mika squeezed out a few digits, until the iron door in front of her opened. Not like a while ago. The Nagra Apartment is now much neater and cleaner. No cigarette butts, paper, and food wrappers were scattered. Dirty clothes are also in the sink.

Mika walked towards Nagra's room. Knocked on the door a few times. Things are still happening as before. There is no sahutan from Nagra. He finally opened the door slowly. He smiled slightly and breathed a sigh of relief. There's nothing to be afraid of. Nagra is there. Sleeping on the bed with the body covered in a blanket.

Mika took a slow step to approach Nagra. He wanted to give a kiss good night, as he often did before. This time, as a sign of apology because he had yelled at the guy earlier. However, he was shocked as his hand touched the man's arm. There was nothing he felt but cold. Real cold.

Mika shakes Nagra's body. Trying to wake the boy up, while several times mentioning Nagra's name. But after a few seconds, Nagra showed no signs of waking up. The guy's body remains cold. The boy's chest was flinching. No up and down movement, nor a regular heart rate.

“Kak Nagra, wake up. You're all right, aren't you? You can still hear my voice, right? Do you know me again?” Mika shakes Nagra's body again. Still no movement at all.

Five minutes had Mika tried to build Nagra, but in vain. He finally decays next to Nagra's bed. His gaze did not shift from Nagra's frozen body and began to turn blue.

Mika wants to cry. However, he cannot. He could only stare blankly at the body. Swallowing back the apology he wanted to convey. Hoping that Nagra would wake up a few seconds later. And, saying that the event that happened before his eyes was just a joke.

However, nearly ten minutes passed. Nagra still did not wake up. Nagra will never wake up again. And, her apology was never delivered.