Red Threads

Suspicious

There was a commotion inside one of the school bathrooms. The girl channeled anger by hitting the bathroom wall in a row. The twitching of pain and pain that began to spread completely he did not ignore. He refused to stop, although now his hands began to numb and numb. To him, this pain was not comparable to the pain in his heart. Not worth the disappointment he got. He hasn't felt something like this in a long time. Ever since Kai told him to draw, he had almost forgotten what it was like to hurt himself. And now, he's back to doing it.

Mika yells. His hand that hit the wall did not stop. He clenched his fingers strong, until whitening. Then, hit back the wall in front of him with the rest of the strength he had. Without even looking, he knew that his finger was turning blue. Perhaps, his finger will soon be broken. But, he doesn't care. He just wanted the pain in his hand to distract his heart. It was soothing, a little fun. Because, he was no longer too focused on his heart that was full of scratches. Merely, the pain in his hand did not completely make him able to switch. He remained trapped in the gaping wound inside his chest.

*“If I win, so my girlfriend yes.”

“Be careful with Raga.”

“Gue don't want you to be a coward.”

“Lo can try to draw whenever depressed.”

"Gue has made the person die indirectly.”*

Mika shouted, scolding. The sentence after sentence Kai had spoken to him, revolved around in his head. Stabbing the deepest point of his heart. Instantly, he lost his balance. Body's limp. Unable to prevent it, he fell on the floor.

Mika banged on her chest. It's so tight in there. All the oxygen in his lungs was gone. The air around him was getting smaller. Until he finally realized, he was the one who forgot how to breathe normally. No pressure. Unstoppably

Mika was crying. He scratched the wall in front of him. However, finding no satisfaction, he switched. This time, on his own arm. Long scratches transverse on his arm. Perih, and let out a thick red liquid from the open gap. Mika smiles. It's delightful. He pressed the wound even stronger. His ears were deliberately held so as not to hear the door bangs and scream Anggita from the outside. There was only one thing he wanted. He just wants to die.

At the very least, dying would not make him feel this pain. The pain when all hope, and happiness melt away with destruction. The one he thought would save him, was in fact someone who crushed the remains of his stubbornness. Someone he thought would bring him back to life, was actually someone who made him feel dead instantly.

“Go!” Mika yells, when Anggita does not give up trying to open the door.

“Ka, please listen to me. We can finish this all right.” I still try to persuade.

Mika thickens ears. His gaze traced every corner of the narrow room. There was no rope, or slit that he could use to jump. The only thing there was was a puddle of water in the tub.

Without thinking, he turned on the water tap. Letting the water in the tub spill. Then, drown his head in the tub.

He can't breathe. Air bubbles are created in the water, depleting the remaining oxygen that is still lodged in his lungs. The tightness began to fill his chest. His ears started to ring. I don't know how long he's been dipping his head in water. All he knew was that his body began to melt. His sight slowly blurred. However, there was a calmness that seemed to extend a hand.

Nagra's shadow waving in his eye patch. Mika smiled thinly. Is this what it feels like to die? Calm, though painful. Fun, and scary at the same time.

Slowly, his eyes darkened. The tightness in his chest was no longer tolerable. But he still flinch.

Mika thought, he was dead when his feet seemed to float. However, he could still hear the sound of panic around him. Anggita's screams, Raya's sobs, and Kai's snaps.

Kai? What's that guy here for? Mika really wants to hug the guy. Crying in that guy's chest, like it used to be. However, his entire body was unable to move. To simply open his eyelids, he was unable to.

In the silence that Mika felt, she said one thing in the rest of her consciousness, “Kai, if the parallel world exists, I hope there we can be happy together.”

♥

The white room and pale green curtains greeted Mika, as she opened her eyes. The light of the white light was dazzling, making his eyes blink several times. The aroma of medicine, and the concentrated eucalyptus oil mixed in his sense of smell. Without even thinking twice he already knew, this was in the school health room.

Compared to other schools, the health room at the school has complete facilities. It almost resembles a hospital. In fact, in that place provided doctors who guard during school hours lasts. So, if there is an emergency like that, the students will not be late to get treatment.

Why isn't he dead? It was that question that filled his head at this moment, not the question of who had brought him to that place. Mika laughs miris. Even after the many suicide attempts he made, he was still in the world.

Someone breaks the curtains, when Mika thinks about another suicide plan. Maybe next time, he will hang himself, drink a bottle of sleeping pills, or most easily—slicing the pulse. And for sure, he wouldn't do that at school.

“Lo is awake, Ka?” Mika looked towards Raya. The girl's face was tangled with reddened eyes.

“Why am I here?” mika asked, with a choked voice. The point of the question is why is he still alive?

Raya was silent for a moment, then forced a thin smile. Trying not to look worried, even if it fails. “Tadi lo fell in the bathroom.”

Mika nodded. In fact, though, it was holding back laughter. It just fell. Next time, he will try to fall even harder. At the very least, until his head hit the floor, and will not be self-conscious anymore. That way, he will soon meet Nagra. And, it won't hurt because of the reality about Kai that he found.

“Gue to class.” Mika forced herself to rise from her position. His head is still turning. His stomach contents churned. He did not know, was he nauseous because he had not eaten since morning, or sick of seeing a world full of falsehood?

Raya didn't say anything. He only helped Mika to walk towards the classroom.

The corridor was not at all quiet. The break left many students there. And, make Mika the center of attention.

If only his legs did not limp, he would have already run towards the classroom. The look of his friends really made him sick. Those who used to think of him as a murderer, now look at him with a look of pity. Those who used to want him dead, now looked at him concerned. Totally nauseating.

“Gue can walk alone, Ray." Mika tries to release the hand of Raya who is holding her arm. He could no longer stand the eyes of his friends. Raya relented. The girl let go of her grip on Mika's arm without asking anything. Although in a limp, Mika tried to step towards the class.

Anggita waving her hands in the doorway. Trouble, Mika set the look on her face to look fine. Then, avenged the girl's wave.

“Raga awaits you from earlier. Like, he was very worried,” said Anggita. The girl followed Mika's steps, as she felt impatient waiting for Mika at the classroom door.

Mika raised one eyebrow. “He knows that I—”

Aggita nodded his head slowly. Without even answering, Mika already knew the answer. Finally, he just smiled. Now, all the students knew that he had just committed suicide. Will they race to give sympathy? Like the old days when they were vying to corner him and accuse him of being a murderer?

Mika enters the class first, leaving Raya and Anggita behind. His gaze was immediately fixed on Raga who was sitting on her stool. Actually, it doesn't matter. It's just, the guy's movements are suspicious. It's like looking for something in his bag and desk drawer. The man's face also looked agitated. Mika came to Raga with slow steps. Don't want to distract that guy.

“What are you looking for again?” Raga was in a hurry to hear that question. The two eyelids of the boy widened, with a surprised look.

“A—aku again—” Raga scratched her clumsy nape. “Eh, are you okay? No one's sick, ‘kan?”

Mika squinted suspicious eyes. Then, a small smile a few seconds later. “Nothing. I'm doing fine. What are you?”

“I—ini. I want to give you this.” Raga stood up, holding up the plastic bag with bread in her hand. Then, hand it over to Mika. “I want to take you to UKS. But, said Anggita you already want to go to class.”

“Thanks yes, Ga.” Mika smiled a little. Then, drop the body in his chair. Raga nodded, rubbed Mika's head, then said goodbye to return to class.

“Kak Raga what?” tanya Raya, when Raga had already left their class. Mika only responded with a slit. Although he was suspicious, but he could not make any guesses about Raga's strange attitude.

“Maybe not, if she's coming?” Anggita took out a test pack from his shirt pocket.

The Eyes of Raya widen. His eyes were full of question marks. Among them, only the girl knew nothing. “That's who?”

Mika shakes. “Ndon't know. I found you in Nagra's room this morning. But, Git. Why would Raga look for that thing?”

Anggita raises shoulders. “Gue just nebak. But, try to think. Why would he search your bag if there was no purpose? Not usually, ‘kan?”

Assume right. It's not usually Raga check the contents of her bag. If it was just to give bread, wouldn't that guy be able to put it in the table drawer right away?

“Gue so suspicious of Kak Raga,” muttered Raya. He tapped his chin, looking like he was thinking.

“Why?” mika asked, with a frown. Right now, his brain is not being invited to think.

“No idea, this is true or not. But, my instinct is to say that the test pack has something to do with Kak Raga. Maybe not, if it turns out it has Raga?” word Raya.

“Means you are pregnant Raga, so?” tanya Anggita, who was then rewarded by Mika, and hiss upset by Raya.

“Not! Git, kesel I long same lo,” sule Raya. “Could be, this has a girl acquaintance Kak Raga, and accidentally laugh with her to Nagra's apartment.”

"So, according to you, last night Raga took it to Kak Nagra's apartment, is that it?" Mika scratched her head. The conclusion Raya drew was puzzling, but she could not find an idea any closer than that. If it didn't belong to someone related to Raga, there was no way the guy was trying to look for it.

“Eh, Ka. Lo still want not a day what Raga usually can not nganterin lo go home?” Angita widens the eyes. You almost always react that way when you find something interesting.

“He almost never took me home. I'm going home with Rudy.” Mika looked confusedly at Anggita.

“But, he's always waiting to be picked up, right?” Anggita's question was answered by a nod by Mika. “So, what day does Raga usually not wait lo?”

“Day Thursday. Why?” ask Mika. He really did not understand the thoughts of his two best friends. Perhaps, this was the effect of his suicide attempt today, which made him slow to think.

“He once said the reason, no?” Anggita is still chasing Mika with a question that has absolutely nothing to do with the existence of a test pack in front of them.

“Raga helps her stay in the office every Thursday,” Mika said. He didn't feel anything strange about it. However, that does not apply to Anggita. The girl smiled mysteriously. Making Mika and Raya look at each other with confused looks.