RAINBOW FOR HURRICANE HANS

LOVE MESSAGES

With trembling hands I grabbed the paper from Nisa's hands. I opened the paper with a handwritten message by Robin's brother. With teary eyes I read word for word, verse by verse. There is happiness in every word that is written there, but on the other hand, sadness covers my heart because this is not the right time to know the contents of this letter.

[For Anggi, my heart's lover

I'm sorry I never looked for you. I'm sorry I didn't know you lived so hard.

Do you know if I love you? Why do you keep your own pain? Why not look for me? Didn't we promise that we will share our joys and sorrows even if we are not together. Why are you hiding your pain from me?

Maybe you don't love me, maybe you just take my promise as a joke, but for me, it's a seriousness. By the time we were going to be apart, I had promised that I would come back and take you with me to live a happy life. I made that promise with all my heart and I kept it in my heart that I would keep it.

But when I got back to the village, I didn't find you there. I tried asking your aunt, but your aunt said that you were married and living happily with your husband. Although my heart aches because the dream of living happily with you is gone. But I am also happy if there is someone else who can replace me to make you happy.

Although bi Ratna said that if you had lived happily, I don't know why my little heart said otherwise. After finishing my education at one of the state-owned educational institutions and becoming one of the state servants, I decided to look for you. I tried to find information from people who might know you, until I finally found your husband's address and went to your husband's house.

There I met your husband and a woman named Sandra. When I asked about you, they kicked me out and told me you were dead. My heart feels so empty to hear their words, I wouldn't be able to if you were really gone. I can't believe what they said as they left from there a middle-aged mother named Bu Asih approached me. He gave me an address, which he said was your current home address. After saying thank you, I began to search the address in question. With the help of friends, I could easily find the address of Dita's mom's house. There I saw you, but I didn't dare to see you, I just looked at you from afar.

After that day every day I keep an eye on you from afar, I just make sure that you're always okay. Until the incident that happened at your house the other day, I was able to meet you in person, because I was assigned to solve the case. Actually not really assigned but I asked and God approved everything.

When I saw you in the hospital, my heart was so sliced that it looked at you who was lying in a weakened state. I want to feel like I'm holding you but I can't do it yet, in my heart I promise that from then on I will always take care of you.

When we met often, I felt very happy, so I ventured to propose to you through bu Dita. Ms. Dita has told me everything about you, and I've decided that I will make you a part of my life and will take care of you and your son and Dita's mother.

Do you know my heart is so happy when you accept my proposal, it's not in vain that I wait for you.

Only four days left we will get married, want me to spend time with you but I got a call to duty in Kalimantan. As a country man, I can't leave my duties, but I promised two days before our wedding I'd be back.

For some reason I felt so bad about accepting this assignment, I felt that this was my last assignment. Therefore I made this letter, because if anything happens to me, at least you can know my heart and the journey of life I went through to be with you. Although we will not be together at least I can make you happy even if only for a moment.

Please don't hate me, even if we're not together believe I'll still love you. If God calls me first, promise me you'll be okay and promise me you won't cry. Don't make me sad with your tears, promise me you'll live happily with Claudy and Ms. Dita. Give my affection and love to Dita and Claudy.

Your girlfriend, Robin]

Sister Nisa rubbed my head gently, taking me into her arms.

''Grandfather, you already know everything. Please tell Robin, she'll be sad if you see you like this''

''But brother, how is it possible, I must be dreaming right now. There's no way Robin's brother left me a brother''

I shed my tears again in his arms. I still hope that what is happening right now is just a dream. 'I will wake up soon, ' I said in my heart.

''Let's get our deck out, but you have to promise, that you'll take all of this well''

My tears are getting broken, what should I do if this is the truth? I nodded my head, unable to say anything more.

''If this is the best thing for Robin, I'm saying God. Put him by your side, he's a good man'' I said as I approached Robin's leg who was put to sleep on a bed that had been decorated with white cloth.

Robin's brother now wears white trousers as well as matching colored shirts and suits. He looked handsome in that outfit, the one he should have worn on our wedding day. My tears wanted to spill again but I tried to hold it, not wanting to shed my tears in front of him.

''Mom, I have a wish. Can I put our wedding rings on Robin's sister. If I could I would wear my shirt too. Maybe you think I'm crazy, but I just want to have good memories with Robin's brother, meaki this is for the last time''

All eyes were looking at me, maybe they were confused by what I had just asked for. Although it may be strange to others my wish, but to me, it is happiness and will be my last memory with Robin's brother.

''All right, son, anything we'll do for you, son. You are the source of Robin''s happiness said om Jordi.

''Thank you, I'll take my clothes and come back here''

I immediately headed to the car and asked Mr. Beni to drive me home. Arriving at home, I ran into my room teary-eyed, I then put on the wedding dress that I had prepared on clothes. As I put it on, my tears were unceasingly flowing. I should have worn this shirt on my happy day with Robin's brother, but now I have to wear it because that day will never come.

After putting on my clothes, I immediately returned to the car and returned to Robin's brother's residence.