My son My spirit

The Scream of the Heart Voice Niqy

Late at night, Niqy was unable to close her eyes. Trying to sleep but the restless feeling came again greeting, disturbing again the rest of the night.

Slowly Niqy got up from the bed while looking at her son Nandi who was asleep since earlier after passing a long drama this afternoon. Niqy then kissed her son's forehead and then sat down in the room seat.

Slowly turn on the lamp located at his work desk and take the black agenda book in the drawer of the work desk. Niqy then opened sheet by sheet of agenda paper and scratched the black ink on the white paper so that the words of each word became a sentence. Those words were Niqy's inspiration tonight.

"Senient at the End of the Night"

I don't ask God again

I am with everything that happens

My efforts have been maximal

But the answer to this struggle is disappointing

Be at the crossroads

that's what makes me fragile

Choose between fulfilling my son's wish or ignoring that taste

I tried to get up even with training

Your test is too heavy for God

Give me a firm backrest to keep me grounded

That wish I won't care about

Take me a beautiful place

A place that can calm me down

Because at this time,

I was among the crowd but my heart felt lonely, empty...

Want me to shed that increasingly stifling taste

I want to run away from everything

Which has become my responsibility

He is my son Nandi

Give me strength, give me a comfortable place to relax

Give me confidence I'll be able to get through this

Passing time is the biggest test for me

Make my patience longer than the test you give.

I'm a fragile God, but I want to rise up and fight for my happiness.

I just don't know how I'm gonna go yet

Give me your guidance.

Scratches of the pen stopped when he heard Nandi wriggling in his bed. Niqy then quickly closed the agenda and then turned off the lights again at his desk. Then climbed back to the bed slowly, lying next to his son and before closing his eyes, Niqy was still staring at the dark ceiling.

Want me to be like a night that doesn't seem everything, hiding in the depths of the night. But the advice of those closest to me seemed to strengthen me and reassure me that the bright day was coming, it only took patience to get to him.

I want to be happy because to be happy does not have to be by pretending, I have to do something that will make my life happy always without burden.

I must start the day with a sincere intention, because we will not see it today again.

I must make my days mean, if it falls up again, enjoy every process and keep hope in every Prayer, because I am sure that God will always give rainbows in every storm, he said, smile in every tear, blessing in every trial and answer in every prayer.

I had to ignore all the hardships I had gone through and try again to count all the favors, gifts and kindness I had. Allah is All-Good and HE will never disappoint His servant if we keep asking.

Keep praying, all will be worshiped, so I must be patient, for life is a choice, and man can choose to be an angel without wings or a devil without horns, so..I must be wise in my life choices.

Niqy confidence and spirit appeared again to give birth to sentences that wanted to be etched on an agenda but just passed in his mind.

Not feeling the eyes were getting heavier, the drowsiness that was very much began to attack and slowly began to make Niqy closed.

SERIATE......