My husband is not the CEO

Eighty Two

Since returning to the apartment, Caramel has always busied herself with work. Departing early in the morning to the Caramel Sleepwear store and returning home late in the afternoon, it was as if Caramel did not want his mind to be entered by the fact that Arnesh was gone.

Initially Rafka lets Caramel do anything as long as it does not drag on in grief, Rafka lets Caramel go home late at night when the mall closes. Though Caramel does not need to do that because there are already employees who will take care of it. Rafka hopes Caramel will be back as he was, a cheerful and talkative Caramel. But instead of getting better Caramel actually looks like an empty soul. Counting 2 months since they returned to the apartment, Caramel was not like the old Caramel. Finally Rafka tired too, he felt his existence was not considered by Caramel. She is busy with herself and her world.

Rafka does not matter if Caramel does not want to clean the house because he can call cleaning services once a week. Rafka also does not matter if Caramel does not cook because he can order food every day three times a day. But Rafka can be caught off guard too because Caramel just wake-go-home and go straight to sleep.

Even Caramel never again uses a series of skincare or other body treatments that used to be his obsession. Sometimes Rafka secretly apply moisturizing cream, serum or whatever Caramel usually uses at night before going to bed. Rafka does it while Caramel sleeps.

Rafka lifts his arm looking at the circular watch on his left wrist, at 9 p.m. He had been pacing back and forth from earlier waiting for Caramel's arrival. Rafka walks to the dining table where there is Caramel's favorite KFC fried chicken. Rafka bought it this afternoon hoping Caramel would come home early. But Rafka had to swallow the disappointment again when he called Caramel this afternoon.

"I'll pick ya up."

"No need to."

"Why? I'll bring you some KFC fried chicken, or do you want to see Miss Rudy?"

"I'm going home by myself."

That was their brief conversation this afternoon when Rafka stopped the car in front of the PIM. Rafka could only see the building from inside the car hoping Caramel ran towards him and went home together. Rafka wept inwardly, why did Caramel have to be like this to heal the pain of losing Arnesh.

Rafka jumped when the apartment door opened, seeing Caramel carrying a plastic bag in his hand.

"You're shopping?" Rafka's approaching Caramel.

"Yes, buy bananas with avocados." Caramel stepped past Rafka putting her groceries on the dining table.

"For what?"

"You learn to make MPASI for Arnesh, it's time to learn to eat." Caramel excited to take bananas and avocados out of the bag.

Rafka's face turned sour, yesterday Caramel bought a baby biscuit. Caramel said Arnesh was already teething so had to learn to eat biscuits like that. Not only once twice Caramel bought goods and food for Arnesh, in the end Rafka who spent biscuits, jelly or anything that Caramel bought because he did not want it wasted. Now Rafka is really tired of Caramel's attitude of not letting anyone into his world. Caramel shut herself so tightly.

"Caramel." Rafka holds Caramel's hand to stop the woman's activities.

Caramel saw Rafka flat, "what?" His gaze turned cynical as Rafka had interrupted his activities.

"You said you wanted to make food for Arnesh?" Rafka returned Caramel's sharp gaze.

"Why?"

Rafka took a deep breath and moved from her seat, holding both of Caramel's hands. He had to bring Caramel back to reality.

"What?" Caramel frowned. "Don't say that."

"Aware of Car, Arnesh is not there." Rafka was frustrated, her voice slow but full of emphasis. He had to say this so that Caramel would no longer slur.

Caramel shook her head strongly with tears that had rained down on her face, "no no!" His shouting.

"Arnesh is dead!" Rafka's voice is rising.

"No!" Caramel pulled the tablecloth to drop all the items on it including food that Rafka had prepared.

"As long as you're busy with yourself, I've been patient enough with your behavior, I think that's how you heal your heartache, I never rebuked you even though you left early in the morning and ignored me, I received all your treatment of me but the more you became, buying bananas for Arnesh, the more you became, why don't you buy food for me, I'm your husband, I need you!" Rafka's emotions overflow, he can no longer bear with their current household life.

"You don't know what it's like to lose, I'm 7 months pregnant, I worry about her, you don't know!" Caramel screamed and sat on the floor.

"Arnesh is also my son, I'm his Papa, you think I don't feel lost? I also lost the figure of Arnesh but I acted as if everything was fine, I'm not like you, you're selfish!"

Silent. Caramel cried silently, she pressed her chest down deeply and closed her eyes letting her tears flow again.

"You're my wife but you don't act like you're living alone in this world and busy thinking about your pain until you forget me, you don't eat my cooking you come and go straight to sleep, so every day, so, i'm tired!" Rafka stepped past Caramel and slammed the door of the room to make Caramel jump in shock.

Patience is indeed not the limit but Rafka must say it to Caramel although painful for the sake of the survival of their household.

Caramel grabbed the chair as a handle for her to stand on. Caramel climbed onto the sofa hugging her knees still sobbing. The anger of the patient is indeed frightening, that is what Caramel feels now.

It's true that Caramel has been too selfish to ignore Rafka for so long. Caramel should also think about Rafka's feelings. They both lost Arnesh, but Rafka always comforted Caramel even though he himself was also overwhelmed with sadness.

Poor Rafka, surely this 2 months feels very heavy for him. Losing a child as well as the figure of a wife who suddenly acts like a stranger. Living but not warming each other.

Caramel looked up, though his eyes were misty full of tears he could still see the clock showing at 11 p.m. That means Caramel cried for a long time. Caramel wiped away her rough tears and stepped open the door of the room.

Caramel saw Rafka sleeping on the bed without a blanket even though the AC temperature was very cold. Caramel took a slow step so as not to wake Rafka up. He went up to the bed looking at the old husband's face. Rafka's face was dim with a bushy mustache and beard pounding his chin. When was the last time Rafka shaved his mustache? What was that two months ago?

"I'm sorry." Ogre Caramel, he rubbed Rafka's head and face gently. Caramel bit her trembling lips to hold back the tears, she had hurt Rafka a lot. "Rafka, I'm sorry." Caramel dropped her head to Rafka's side, hugged her husband's burly arms so tightly and cried in silence again to sleep.